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Hi,

Well basically, on Friday night, me and this girls I am really close to were making out on her bed, when I said to her "you're so hot".

Afterwards, (when we had been to 3rd) we made out a bit more and then just as I was about to eave I hugged her, and she said "When you said the hot thing, I was really confused, why did you say it? It sounded like you were using me then."

I then proceeded to reassure her I would never use her (I would never EVER do that, I couldn't imagine hurting a girl like that), and everything seemed to be fine, when we texted in the morning she didn't sound any different.

But then, that evening (Saturday just gone) she was not happy and said to me on msn "You know I have a big thing about being used, and you said it at the wrong time." After that I told her I wouldn't use her, and anything that she thought it wasn't intentional I was just saying it in that context.

After that she said I changed when we did it. I have no idea what she was talking about, and I said if I changed I didn't mean to and if she didn't want to do any of those things she shouldn't have done I didn't want to force her into it.

Then she asked, "do you regret last night?" to which I said "I don't regret what we did, but I regret what I said and how I changed. It came out completely wrong the hot thing." Then she said she didn't regret it at all.

Then she said "I will find it in my heart to forgive you, if a) you stop using me. and b) you stop saying gay things. You turned into every other f*****g guy the other night."

So I apologised, and that was the last time I spoke to her.

What I'm asking is, what does this all mean? Why does she think I was using her? Because I wasn't. I just want everything explaining about what happened and what I did wrong. And also, what should I do now? I didn't speak to her yesterday I gave her some space, but my friends say I should talk to her today to sort everything out, something along the lines of

"I'm so sorry about the other night, and for using appropriate language, I feel like a right id**t. I would really like it if you came over on Friday night so we could sort things out..."

Is that okay? And will all this sort itself out? I have not idea what happened, and whatever I did I didn't mean to make her feel like that at all. I would never hurt her or use her.

If you don't understand all of that I will explain it further if needed.

Thanks for your help,
Will.

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6880 posts
I don't see how what you said could be interpreted as anything but a compliment.
It sounds to me like she's looking for anything she can find to screw with your mind.
I'd look for someone else who's into being honest in a relationship.
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That's what I thought...

I don't want to be with anyone else.... I need to talk to her really.

Will.
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Try coming to her from a diff. angle tell her she is beautiful or enique. Girls usually dont like it when a guy they are getting intimate with tells them they're HOT. I know it sounds weird but unless you are having kinky sex and she wants you to call her weird things then it really gets to a girl. But the way your sounding you guys were being intimately passionate and at this time she wants to be told she is beautiful ect. ect. I hope this helps you understand her point of veiw. :-D
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Yeah that's what one of my friends told me. I am inexperienced with girls, so I'm blaming that for what I said. :(



Do you think it would be a good idea to text here tonight or leave it for a couple more days? I need to get things straight with her.



Will.
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Is there anyway to go and see her bc that would mean a whole lot to her and that would let her know that you are really srry and that you mean it. But if you have to text her bc you cant see her right now just tell her that she isnt like any other girl you have been with and that she means something reall special to you. And tell her that you was just caught up in the moment and you didnt know the right words to say but. Tell her that she is beautiful but hot at the same time. Tell that you want this to work and give it a try. Don't just let her go!!!!!
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The first timeI can see her (if she wants to see me) is on Friday, I was going to apologise to her again on text and see if she was able to come to my house on Friday night to sort all of this out. I have never felt like I do towards her to any other girl I have met, so I don't plan on letting go without trying to get her back... I know it sounds pathetic but I don't want what we share to ever end.... But does that sound okay about inviting her over on Friday? I can't see her any other way.

Will.
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Yea you should most definately see her. And tell her how you feel and no you dont sound parthetic and if she doesnt like a sentimental man then bump her lol. I think it is nice when a guy lets out how he feels towards a girl. So just tell her how you feel ok and I hope you guys work out.
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I text her about 4 hours ago, and she hasn't replied to it. Do I just give it a couple of days to see if she does, or do I risk ringing her? I want to know what's going on.

Will.

PS any advice needed please :-)
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Dont text her too much but just let her know that you want to be with her and you think she is a beautiful individual and that is something special to. Just tell her you got caught up in the moment and you stumbled on your words. :-)
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