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what you have is called HOCD homesexual obsessive compulsive disorder, i would know i suffered, still occasionally suffer from it, i have been straight as an arrow my entire life, but at the age of 15, i was watching some porn, and it was a threeway with two guys and a girl, it was one of those moments where i just couldnt turn away, i didnt get hard, didnt feel turned on just couldnt turn away from the two men having intercourse on the screen, after that day, i would consider "am i gay?" ALL THE TIME, at school when masturbating, when talking to girls, even though i had never had feelings for a man other than my best freind my whole life, as a result i surrounded myself in hate speech, and became super homophobic, but this only worsened it, i would watch gay porn just to see if i was turned on, i would try anal stimulation, but stopped once a tried it and bled from my anus. i am very meterosexual so i got worse when a gay kid asked me out in high school, i told him to go f**k himself and go to hell, but it got worse, i finally adopted a mental practice of mental visualization and "locked my thoughts away" i dont have much worries anymore, but somedays particularly monday mornings i have thoughts, i just try to do anything i can to distract myself from them, its a hard struggle but youll get through it...i did, the best way to get them out of your head is to finding a saying to repeat over and over and imagining the thought dissolving away, and being replaced by a straight thought, for instance my saying was "if is say im straight,thats who i am, if i say im gay thats who i am, and I AM STRAIGHT" i would repeat it multiple times and it helped me out alot keep fighting man :) dont give in to those sick thoughts... i know how hard it is, im still straight and i remember some days i just wanted to come out, but it wasnt real feelings, its just uncontrollable urges, im still/will always be straight
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Im 13 too. Im going through this weird puberty phase too. Going back to when I was little I cant really remember having gay thoughts. When I was little I always had sexual dreams about straight sex and women. I would say 11-13 is about the time ive been questioning and having these gay feelings. Honestly for a long time I forgot about them but heres what happened. One I was really turned on. I was 12 or 11 but I was in 6th grade. I just came home from school and started masterbuating. I was curious of what gay porn would do and then I busted a nut. I felt so disgusted and then after tried masterbuating to straight and lesbian porn. But before that I did have a Girlfriend who I liked and got hard from. But after that gay experience I always liked girls. I always had urges to masterbuate to girls I liked and lesbian porn. But recently Ive masterbuated to another gay vid. Those were the only times ive masterbuated to gay porn but out of curiosity ive watched gay porn to see what the guys do. Sometimes as well I would think of gay sex while masterbuating to straight porn. I hope this is just a phase. Anyone please help. PS/ I would prefer women over men just my preference.
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I just wanna tell you one thing... You've been going through HOCD, and maybe you still are. Look 80% of guys have fantasies of other guys giving them oral or ha****b, while they are in relationship and even have things with girls, but that is also called curiosity, you wonder how you'll feel if some of that stuff, happend.. But like heterosexual porn, gay stuff is not that nice like they are representing on internet. Honestly I'm went through this phase and I wanted get rid of it so much, because it made me feel so awful, so useless, that i can't explain.. And that is all because i know I'm not gay! And that is because i have romantic and sexual life with girls, and feel awesome! The problem is overthinking, and watching porn! Overthinking makes us go deep into our problem, which make our brain to think about homosexual stuff non stop. And that is what causes HOCD(Homosexual Opssesive Compulsive Disorder) with this we start to test ourselves if we are gay by looking at other guys, than look at girls to see of we feel the same.. This is a grande problem, but it is really easy to get fixed! Firstly convince yourself that all of that stuff is not good for you and your future friends, than, get your mind of the porn.. This will be so hard, but you'll notice that you will feel better after only one week.. Than when you get those imagies, you should know that your brain makes them, not because you like them, but because you don't want them(HOCD again) All this time that you spent watching porn, use for some other activities like going to gym, spending time with your friends, etc.. After few months of doing this, You'll realise that this all was HOCD and a passing phase, but never, NEVER get away from thise thouths, and actually welcome them, and tell yourself that this is all HOCD and don't let it bother you !
I can help you a lot with this, just ask me all that you want! Good luck :)
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I agree...Ididnt watch porn til I was in my twenties...first real experience was w/ a guy at 17....then later when I was 20...yeh I dated a few girls but nothing really came out of it, ;'cept some heavy petting w/ the last one
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