I am 23yrs old (male). Since around age 17 I have had thoughts about guys more and more. I have never done anything with a guy. Nothing at all. But I do watch gay porn and become aroused by it almost immediately. I still watch straight porn and I can become aroused by it but not as fast or in the same way as gay porn. I don't know if its because its a taboo subject or what but this has gone on for quite a while. Now almost to the point where even though I don't make it obvious to myself, I know that when I'm watching straight porn I am trying far too hard to become aroused and its stopping me. I find a lot of straight porn very boring and the same nowdays. Some video's are different and can be a turn on but I feel like my "straight" side is melting away and there's nothing I can do. When out in public, I do check girls out, but I also check guys out. I feel a lot more interested and potentially excited by girls when they are there in front of me rather than on a computer screen. I had a girlfriend for two years between age 19 and 21 and I had sex with her on a regular basis and I really enjoyed it. I loved the sex plus the closeness and the intimacy I had with her.
I heard that if you are interested in women strongly at one point in your life (which has been for my whole life including childhood) then you can't just wake up one day and like guys all of a sudden. I heard that if you like girls genuinely, you always did and always will. You might discover guys as well over time which I think I'm starting too, but they won't flush girls down the toilet completely. Is that true?
I'm worried that if I meet a new girl I might not be able to "perform" especially if the straight porn experiences are anything to go off. This is on my mind 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I even dream about the problem.