I think I need a shoulder to cry on - I'm just burnt out!

My hubby (now 64) has a problem and it may even be psychological one, in that for the past few years he gets sick, tired, sore or ill at least once per week. What generally happens because he does suffer with arthritis, this is used as a valid excuse to sit and sleep a lot because of the pain. He is in real estate and in under stress also and can hardly walk some days - I feel for him. All this I know is real BUT from this 'rest habit' - things always morphs into so many other aliments ie; of course a bad back, sore neck/throat - loud dry cough, heavy breathing or inability to breath, need for hacking and spitting - anywhere and anytime, insomnia (go figure), fatigued, ulcerated feet and legs, twisted gut and gas, headaches, lack of appetite to binges, pains here and there and severe vomiting, diarrhea or constipation , worrisome shoulder, arm and hand tingles to pain, heartburn, high temps etc. etc. Yet they can all magically disappear if and when HE wants to do something.

What I've grown to hate most about this habit is - the 'unusual for an adult' pitiful dramatics and moaning that goes along with it. He is very vocal and sooks out and picks (no matter how trivial) everybody else to death - sadly is another thing I don't find that attractive. Yet oddly he is never too sick or picky for sex (again - go figure). PLUS his symptoms seem to always get worse just before a day off or around holiday time. Could this all be fear/anxiety that I'll ask him to do physical stuff and/or some work? I feel it may be a way of expressing suppressed anger (at himself and/or his body letting hi down?) Or could it be HE IS seriously ill ?

Anyway, I feel I've become an ugly nag especially as WE rarely spend any quality 'fun' time together - he loathes even walking (plus me wanting to walk without him) so is generally he is unfit also (and so I'm slowly becoming the same way too). We no longer socialize and lost many friendships due to these never well enough patterns. People that do care about him often say (worry) that he 'seems' to be always tired or ill etc. and tend to think he is lazy and brings it all on himself.

As it is - he takes numerous medications already. I feel horrible that I can't show him any sincere sympathy - I just go though the motions of a (now tough love) carer. What's also annoying is he doesn't believe (accept) this is any big problem or that he is ever really ever 'that' sick - so won't go to a doctor not until he is at deaths door or needs a doctors note. Even though I have kept a diary as proof. He also refuses to see a psychiatrist/physiologist just because 'I' can't handle it - so I am very concerned! This surely isn't a good way for him to exist (because he is not living)! I do love him, so HOW can I get him to find reason - PLEAS HELP! {THANKS}