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OK, so I well and truly failed at giving up again! I only managed 6 days before stupidly thinking I could go back to smoking one day a week. A bit like cigarette smoking I know that if I'm going to give up it has to be all or nothing. The problem I have is that I'm so stressed at the moment.

Apart from my partner no-one really knows about my habit - or at least the extent of it and I don't expect sympathy but I've two young children who are wonderful but very hard work. I have a partner who works away during the week and not much help. I've found the summer holidays a nightmare of boredom and the days are very, very long. I've managed not to smoke much during the day but on the occasional day where I have nothing to do or am so wound up with the kids I do tend to have a pipe or two.

I think if I'm honest I can't imagine what life will be like without weed. I think it's the last bastion of my personality and without it, I completely lose my personality in favour of all the external demands of my life. I guess I think of weed as my little friend although it's not.

My biggest problem is the munchies which are just out of control. I wake up in the middle of the night with sweats and feel sick because I've eaten too much. It's not like I'm even enjoying what I eating, I just want to eat!

I know the answer is to just go cold turkey and get on with it but I although I really want to not wake up every morning feeling like sh*t, I just can't commit at the moment. I'm thinking I need to wait until the kids daily routines go back to normal in September but it feels like such a long time away.

Help - what can I do to get my brain into 'quitting' mode. I just don't feel like I can cope without a crutch of some description. I feel like such a loser and a failure to myself and my family but I've never gone through a time since I was 12 or 13 where I didn't have some kind of crutch.

I guess I understand myself enough to know that I've had a pretty hard life - dealing with sister with learning disabilities, dysfunctional family, abuse and a whole host of other things and I know that I'm not realising my full potential but I just can't get past not having something for myself. My counsellor tries to say things like have a bath, watch a film etc etc but it's not enough. It's a psychological barrier I need to break and I just don't know how.

Anyone else found quitting a real struggle? I could do with a bit of motivation please!

Thanks for listening.

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try your best to stop, it does mad stuff to your head
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Here's your pep talk: you only fail when you stop picking yourself up. You only fail when you truly give up on trying. Until then you haven't failed. You've just had a setback. So please realize that. You are working hard and I want to let you know that we all support you. It's good that you're giving this up. So please let me know how you're doing. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. :-) And let me know how you're doing, okay?
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I know exactly what you mean about the cold-turkey thing. I have an addictive personality, and for me, if I have any pot around, I'm smoking everyday. I always try to convince myself that I can do the once-a-week thing, but it never happens.

For you, since your partner knows about you smoking, maybe you can ask him/her to hide your stash and then only give you enough for one session each week, or just when you really need it.
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I totally agree with you that you need something for yourself, but weed is such a temporary form of satsifaction its really only compounding your need for self realization. Its like the cigerette smoker who thinks hes releiving his stress by smoking only temporarily releive himself while building a longterm addiction and suffering. I think if you find something to replace this habit you will look back with aww on how ou felt so attatched to it. Try sports, gym, instrument, star gazing, big brother volunteering, growing plants(not cannabis hehe) sooo many things, albert einstein worked for the government and on the side studied physics and he split the atom for us hehe who knows what kind of potential you will have, after quitting I picked up my guitar and had so much time to play I'm now busting out some led zepplin something i would never have accomplished in my weed DAZZZZE ...

GOOD LUCK
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I totally agree as well, there's so many different things that you can do. I'm so glad to hear that you're able to find a habit that works so well for you. had you ever played guitar before and just lost interest?
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