coming off subutex

ive been taking subutex now for nearly 3 years, ive tried 4times to come off it once i did cold turkey n my withdrawls lasted for 2 weeks at there worse n took me another 2 weeks to get bk to normal...i lasted 5 days and stupidly went back on it because i couldnt deal with my own thoughts. i started taking subutex after my mum passed away from a 7 year battle with cancer my ex thought it was a good idea to offer me some to 'make me feel better' and i loved the feeling of it an the buzz so started to take it daily before i new it i became a addicted. after i came off it the first time (when i went cold turkey) i couldnt stay off it and took it again because all my feelings and emotions hit me like a bus...all the greif i hadnt dealt with bk wen my mum passed had come bk n i cudnt handle it n sit with my own feelings so unfortunatly relasped (i got off the sub on my own with no medical help) ive tried to withdraw myself ever since, i always get down to the smallest bit (0.2mg) and i have a sh*t day or summit bads happened any excuse i can find to go ahead n 'have a one off' which never ends in bein a one off n im back to square 1! nobody professional knows that i take this prescription drug only a few friends and my ex husband who gave me n still feeds my addiction now, im scared that bcoz i have a 3 yr old they will judge my efforts as a parent even tho she is well looked after im also worried that they will give me my own script n i will never come off it! i cannot bare takin this stuff anymore it is effectin my life and my emotions, theres parts of my past i need to deal with in able to move on with my life n i cant begin that untill i get off this..iv never taken herion in my life i once had a cocaine addiction when i was a teenager which was dealt with but iv never had a addiction to a bupernofine drug before. im currently on 2mg, i take 1mg in the morning and another 1mg about 4pm please please can someone give me some adicve on what i can do to end this nightmare i want my life back :(