Hi to all im new here (a noob i suppose lol) ill give the story as to how my diagnosis came about. Im discounting most peoples feelings in this as they are (like my engagement) not for here
Well for 3 days prior to (what ill call my 'incident') my gf says i was slurring my words and generally acting a bit drunk, i cannot vouch for any of this as i have no memory of that day, being Thursday to 5 days afterwards. Things were said, which i believe kicked off the whole situation, my gf asked me to look after my daughter, not an unreasonable request while she did the washing (while i was on the laptop), she said i completely flipped started punching things, becoming very violent (something totally out of character for me. She said i became a totally different person. I punched holes in walls and doors (resulting in a broken hand).....She asked
me what had i been on, meaning drugs; i flipped again, id been on nothing and (MORE WILL BE SAID LATER) told her to take her engagement ring off and said she was just like my dad (past issues) I even did a nightshifts work and have no recollection. If i ever got angry id take it out on some headshots on cod (call of duty or some other game). Under drink the worst i have done is shut a door very hard resulting the glass being broken.
It was on the last nightshift (friday) i went to work, a colleague ill call H (hed love the meaning) asked me outright if i was pissed (drunk if profanity isn't allowed) i said no and asked why, he said again what my gf had said, im slurring my words and walkin a bit funny. He obv didnt think it serious enough to report me to the shift super so he let me carry on my work. At 9:30 pm shift change occured, but seeing as i was on 12 hour nights it wouldnt have affected me, except i sat in the cabin (where the shift change occurs) i started blabbering on about drugs and my past abuse with them (ill post details later) slurring my words all the way, this is something id never do to work colleagues. After this frank admission i carried on my work until around 11 when my colleague ill call A found me, and these are in his
words hanging from a fence by one arm (as though heavily intoxicated) when he arrived (laughing) at my location i 'fell asleep'....hes a 1st aider but still thought i was drunk. He tried (unsucessfully, and checked my eyes which at the time were rolling in the back of my head) it was at this time he called security (the appropriate
procedure in our firm, and they sent their own 1st aider). In addition my shift leader (person incharge of the mill for the night was called) She did nothing other than stick her nose in and try and prove i was on drugs (a sackable offence obviously)
The time-frames here i cannot be sure of but were pretty fast (or should have been) They all arrived to see me 'asleep' in a chair unable to be awoken, now heres where some observations from the 1st aiders must be noted i was 'kicking out' and 'twitching' quite a lot, as my colleague A put it 'It seemed like a small seizure', he likened it to an epeleptics fit (he only told me afterwards and didnt say anything to the paramedics, hindsight is a wonderful thing. Obviously the paramedics were called who diagnosed me as unconsous (Not asleep like everyone thought). Apparently the 1st aiders even tried them smelling salts to try and wake me, which did not. I was unconsous for around 30 mins (+/-5 mins) for different personal observations. When i eventually came round i obviously had no clue whatsoever what had went on, was staggering about everywhere (while all present were telling me to lie, not sit down). I was eventually persuaded to get into the ambulance (emergency vehicle for those
not from the UK), where the paramedics started asking various questions, now i can remember parts of this, primarily the fact that i told them the same stuff anout my drug history and that whatever combinations i had ever taken and theres a few id never reacted like this, i was adamant that i hadnt taken drugs or alcohol that night, which tbh i dont think they believed me as they performed on-the-spot drug tests on my blood and urine. At the time i didnt know the results but were obviously NEGATIVE. They tried (and failed to persuade me to goto the hospital), but ended up going home to sleep for around 12 uninterrupted hours.
Now Satarday and Sunday were probably the stupidest (whatever you think about taking drugs) and most dangerous i have ever undertaken. For both i consumed (at night-times only, as that matters and nowhere near the kids i might add) huge amounts of alcohol and on one night as my dealer told me (unreliable yes) coke (1/8 which is 3 grammes, average for me) and the recently banned mephedrone (again the same amount). I cannot remember any of it, but as i said its the stupidest thing i had ever done. My gf dont know about the drugs and never will unless she reads this!
My slurring of words continued, walking unbalanced, short and long term memory loss....they even got a little worse, i was eventually persuaded by my grandfather, who having hearing of all this on the monday.....from my dad came rushing down to see if i was ok and i went straight to the A&E Accident and Emergency department at my local hospital, events were explained and i was admitted straight away onto a ward. I was sechduled for both an mri and cat scan.....but given no time as to when.
My memory starts to come back on the tuesday as i can remember being bored for very long periods (getting very angry at times, having to be calmed down by my gf). I was still slurring my words and when the physio asked me to walk straight it was a disaster lol. Over the days i spent a lot of time on my iphone (which im writing this on so forgive grammar, format etc)
Eventually i cannot remember when, but i had my scans and a cyst showed up somewhere on my cerebellum (correct slpelling?).....which the doctors at our hospital couldnt properly diagnose as they werent neurologists, we dont havy any in this county lol) They said the following (from my own and others memory) from the time i were freed from their care, i.e sent home.
- It was a small cyst (now id call 10cm small, but in the case of a cyst of the brain i dought it!!!) a person with experience, or a doctor who could clarify this for me would be very much appreciated.
- It was not a tumour, but again coming from non-neurologist doctors i cannot discount this
- It probably wasnt the cause of the 'Incident', they blamed drugs, which i flipped at. Told them to read their f***ing notes and see if and when any drugs had been
present, they stood corrected and said drugs werent the cause.
- I asked why i was still slurring my speech, to which they had no answer? does anyone reading this?
- I asked about my balance, they blamed an ear-nose-throat thing and said i should go my nearest centre.
Thats all really, except wheelchairing me (which they had everywhere) to my mothers car (shed came 300 miles to see me in hospital and arrived for my discharge lol)Now ill state the situation, im currently awaiting an appointment with a neurologist (could be some time) and in the mean time ive got the Internet good and bad, ive read bad stories and what ud call good ones comparing them to the bad lol where they discharge fluid from the cyst itself....yuck to operating. Brain surgery does not
appeal to me and whatever comes i am sh**ting myself properly for the 1st time in my life.
My personal details
Im 27 in general good health
6 ft 3
Dont smoke, only weed on a handful of occasions
17/18 stone i am an ex rugby player (forward in the pack), think of line backer in the us (hope i got that right) damaged ligaments in my right knee stopped me playing
I Have a 'SEE FOOD' diet, i eat anything which includes fatty processed junk, but nowhere near all the time
Im in general good health, always told by docs to lose weight, even as rugby player.....dont know why built like a rhino, no fat but hey
Im a father to the best thing in the world, my little girl and step-dad to my gfs other 2
I still slurr my words from time to time, making me sound dumb and idiotic.
I dont stagger anymore, but my legs 'feel funny' when i walk, like ive had a couple a beers.....managable but not at all nice.
I go in moods more easily (my gf says this but i have to disagree)
I havent been out much, iv been on my ps3 a lot and enjoying time with my little ray of sunshine. Wish sony wud fix the psn so i can play cod but thats another issue.
Oh and i said id mention my drug past, well its extensive iv tried the following a few if not loads of times:
- GHB/GBL (Personal use, im no sicko)
- A few new Research chemicals 6apb (Benzo Fury), 5-iai, NRG1 (carnicerous and had a fair bit) M-Dat, MDAI
All of the rc's were done months after guinea pigs tried em for the first time, and theres one more i must add to the list MDMA, otherwise known as Exctasy, its my most used drug, thoough not since the baby (dont go clubbing anymore) I must note that i have not taken (knowingly) and psychedelic drugs at all, never seen weird colours etc or people on them.....i know people that have lost memory for days after lsd for example. I was going to experiment with these kinds of substances but after recent events i am not.
I mention the drug use as any one of them could be the cause of the cyst itself (any neurologists any info here)
This has all caused multiple issues with my gf the engagement thing, the problem is I dont want to call it back on (even tho thats what i want in case i do so and 'forget' that i have, like i did when calling it off.....i want to know what is wrong with me first....she says she understands.
I hope to hear from others who have had similar experiences....and thanks for listening, i have no-one i can talk to about this as im normally very closed emotionally.