Im a14 year old girl and now exactly what your talking about! Here's what I have for you!
Okay, I don't think your depressed , but you do seem like your have anxiety disorder. I think the best thing for you is just to relax and stay calm in school . In shool you should stay confident and keep your chin up. I'm not trying to sound like bragging because I am totally not, but I am kinda popular. NOT in the mean bullying way, but in the nice , polite type of way.
I get judged a lot because I am in so many things including honors. My daily life is being judged all the time.
Acting classes, plays, speeches, projects, scales, sports, cheerleading. Want to know how I keep my confidence?
Stop caring what other people think about you! As long as you put yourself out there and smile your beauty queen smile no one will ever have a reason to hurt you. Confidence always kills a brat. Smarts ,too! If you think about what your going to say a head of time and don't mess up it makes you seem professional. Before a speech , look over notes and play what your audience and teachers will think of your speech , think of questions they will ask andthink of answers.
WHEN....Taking the speech talk a relaxed , but not to slow pace. Take your time. Look at everyone and keep your expression in check. Be happy!!!!Its only school!!!! Not a job interview! Your in middle school ,too! If you do mess up ? WHATEVER BLOW IT OFF!
Tip for sleeping! 5 steps to an awesome slumber!
1. Get comfortable on a bed. 2 pillows ellivated behind your head
2. Write all your toughts about school in a journal and things you need to do tommorow in the journal. Look over thoughts. Now put away the journal and forget about them to tommorow.
3. Stretch out your arms and legs.
4. Turn off light
5. Think of happy thoughts.....Childhood? Actors? Parents? Relax body from head to toe. Sleep zzzzz....
About cutting it isn't healthy!!!! It doesn't make your problems go away...It only leaves scars and brusises! Talk to your doctor or maybe get a theripest? Sorry forgot how to spell it ! lol;-)
"I told my friend i wanted to kill myself and she yelled it outloud in the middle of the hallway and kept making jokes about it. I seriously am only alive for a couple people." That is sooo not true You are alive to sooo many people! Teachers, parents, your friends! They care about you ! They love you . Thats a fact. Suicide is not the answer. Life gets better after high school! I promise!
Hope my super long paragraphs help ! Keep your head up!XD
If you ever need someone to talk to for advice I'm here!
I remember that I was like that when I was younger...I was afraid to talk in front of the class, I felt like I had to do everything perfect because I hated doing anything wrong, and I was afraid of being judged. I had been bullied my entire elementary school career, and was one of the shyest girls you'd ever have met. I can tell you now that-I'm no doctor-I don't think you have an anxiety disorder. If anything, I think you suffer from extreme shyness and have no confidence in who you are. Don't worry, I used to be exactly the same way!
I am now 14 and in the 9th grade, and I have been free of all of those worries since the 6th grade. You want to know how? Because in the 6th grade, during winter break, I finally asked myself-what logical reason is there for me to be afraid of what other people think? What can others do to me with their thoughts? Make fun of me? If you don't let their taunting get to you, and you just don't let what others think about you get to you, then it will truly change your life. :) You know the saying: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? It means that people can only get to you with their words if you let them. Words can't hurt you if you ignore them. Why do you have to listen to them, when there are so many other people in this world that love you? And I know you might not believe that statement, but believe me, it's true!
Now, take a look at yourself in the mirror: what do you see? You want to know what I see? I see someone completely and utterly beautiful, inside and out. <3 Don't you dare ever let anyone bring you down with their stupid comments and teasing-all they want is to hurt people, and they chose you to be the one to pick on. Why did they choose you? Most of the time, when kids bully someone, it's because they're JEALOUS of them! All bullies are is big idiots looking to pick a fight because they're mad that they will never have the heart that you have!
Another thing is, don't let all the drama of middle school (junior high) ruin your life! As one of my church friends says, they're called growing pains for a reason! I'll be honest with you-middle school was one of the toughest and most depressing experiences of my life! It was a pain in the a**, full of pointless drama, and stupid people with no hearts! It isn't a walk in the park, so I'd understand you being depressed about it! But hey-I survived! Trust me, if you can get through middle school, then you can get through anything, because high school for me right now is a billion times better-no, a trillion times better than what I had last year in the 8th grade!
If you want my advice on how to survive, here's a few tips:
*Avoid drama filled friends-your "friend" that yelled to the hall about you wanting to kill yourself? yeah, hate to break it to you, but she isn't a real friend. NO good friend would EVER treat their friends like that!
*If you can't find friends in your school, then try outside of school-if you go to church, your church friends? or even just hanging out with your family? I mean, I only hang out with my family, and it's a heck of a lot better than hanging out with fake friends.
*Don't let others knock you down-if you let what others say get to you, then you will be depressed, and they will just come back for more. Stand up to those jerks, or better yet, IGNORE THEM! They know NOTHING in life and will probably end up being garbage-men and hobos, while you're making tons of cash. Just sayin'.
*I don't know if I have stressed this enough....AVOID DRAMA!!!!!! PERIOD. It will screw up your life. Trust me.
*Make some new friends? I know that you don't wanna go out and make new friends, but really, if you're just nice to everyone and friendly, and don't let yourself be afraid, then you shouldn't have to look for them-they'll find you.
*And finally, DON'T UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE UP!!!! YOU WILL GET THROUGH THESE TOUGH YEARS!
I really hope that this is helpful!!! :) Sorry it's so long, but I can just really sympathize with you here, and I feel like it's my job to help people with this stage in their lives, because I know how hard it is. Just keep your head held high, and don't let them bother you! And remember-you aren't ever alone, no matter how alone you think you are!
If you need my help, just let me know, I can talk anytime! :) See, you just made a new friend already! :)
Lots of love!! <3 <3 Hang in there!