I have smoked weed i think 3 times. The ifrst one was fake weed though, that affected me but went away. The last time that I smoked weed was when I felt not normal anymore. I never got really high until that time. I smoked out of a bong and took a huge hit, I didnt mean to my cousin was holding the bong and was giving me the hit, I coughed and felt like I needed to puke really bad. But once i caught my breath, everything was numb. I sat down and I could not feel anything. I moved my body but I couldn't feel that I moved anything. At first I liked it, but then I began to get scared because I couldn't feel anything and I didn't feel real. The other thing was, I could make my eyes stay open and I could stay in one position without getting uncomfortable My cousin got me outside for air but when I tried to get up i couldnt feel myself walking ot anything. I decided to lay down, and I began to wonder if I could feel pain. I chewed on my tongue and lip and couldnt feel it and Ibegan to claw my skin becuse I jsut wanted to feel something. It just wanted the night to end.
Today, I can't feel when I breath and i stop breathing for awhile to try to feel something, I can still stay in the same position for a long time without getting unconfortable, I will move without realizing it, and i can't talk normally or when i get questioned i cant think straight and my words would get twisted. I just don't feel like myself.
Do I have Depersonalization?
I don't really understand what that is but I just want an answer.