Do I sound pregnant?

Do I sound pregnant? I know this sounds very long but please just bear in with me...I had unprotected sex (he ejaculated outside of me but did finger me with lots of *** on his fingers and did re insert afterwards) the day before my ovulation was scheduled to come (it came on time the next day). The same tissue i used to clean up ejaculation i used to wipe my vagina. My menstrual cycle is 33 days and they are all REGULAR and last about 5-6 days. The first and second day after my ovulation date, i had very bad sharp pains & rumbling that I was not familiar with in my lower abdomen and pelvic area. They were really bad and i could feel them even while asleep! The next day after that (3 dpo) i had a shooting pain in belly as soon as i began to eat my normal breakfast (cereal, yay) that only lasted a few minutes and have been REAL moody. Also, i had some clear/white vag. discharge with white pieces in it that looked like semen or lotion but isnt. I have never been like this before. :( 4dpo I really hadnt slept much and had to pee 5 times in the morning and all i had was one cup of water. I had stomach pains while eating and cramps through out the day. No i dont have a UTI. After peeing, my bladder still feels full. 5 dpo I had been feeling dizzy, and couldnt sleep. I never been dizzy in my life. The whole time after my ovulation, my breasts have been REALLY tender. 9 dpo i keep getting a full feeling in my stomach even though im eating what i usually eat. I got a shooting pain on right side of stomach at night while laying down. And even though i feel REALLY tired, i wake up after a few hrs of sleeping for no darn reason. 10dpo, i felt VERY feverish, had a rise in body temperature, had gurgling noises in my belly that was NOT gas while eating nor was i drinking anything carbonated, was still dizzy like every other day (when i walk i feel like ima faint), and very very moody. When i stand up too quick, i feel dizzy. All this week i have been uncontrollable irritable and moody and have been snapping back at EVERYONE. No, im not stressed out. I keep getting hot flashes for the past few days. One minute im REALLY hot and one minute im REALLY cold when really its just normally hot out here in puerto rico but it's been chilly in the mornings lately. In the middle of the night, my belly was making funny noises. Today i'm 11 dpo and today, i woke up at 3am for no reason. Around lunch time, i had a shooting pain from my left side of lower abdomen that i NEVER felt before on or near my period that lasted no more than a few minutes. It was very sharp and it hit me while i was walking with my friends. It felt like someone was stretching me on my left side. I felt REALLY hot even with the fan on, almost threw up today out of no where sitting down in the morning, and was dizzy before and after eating and i almost fainted. Today, I have also been very sentimental (cried a few times today over pointless c**p) and have had back aches while doing pure nothing. The backaches come and go. All these days, my boobs have been real tender and warm. No im not touching or laying on them either. :) Oh and another thing, usually i pass a bowel movement every 1 or 2 days but lately, its been kinda hard and stressful for me... And for the past few days, i have been really TIRED as if i had a fever but i dont. Usually i go to bed at 10 or 11pm but lately, i've been wanting to go to bed by the time its 3pm and i have been sneaking naps in classes. :) I am not making any of this up and its not in my head. :O I am not imagining any of these things and ppl do have cramps and stuff a few days after conception. And some ppl have implantation bleeding late from like 10-16 dpo while others dont have it at all and that a thermal shift like the one i had today is a sign of implantation and some ppl do start feeling pregnancy symptoms a wk b4 period. After today i have 2 more days before mines. What do you guys think cuz really, i have never felt this way before and i did have a pregnancy scare in the past and never had these symptoms? I never felt like this before or during a period either so i cant tell difference from pms and preg symptoms. Usually, on periods, i just have bad pelvic pains and pains that feel like my b. hole and vagina are contracting. :O :( Can someone be so kind enough to help me??