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I'm a reasonably healthy 26 year old, and I've had a few girlfriends in the past, and had no problems, even the first time having sex with them.

However, over the last year, I've been getting weaker erections and not staying hard very long. Any brief pause in sex, like putting on a condom or changing positions (especially moving from on the bottom to on top) will make me lose my erection, and once lost, it doesn't come back. These incidents started out rare and got more common, although they stayed infrequent enough to me to still enjoy sex, and for my girlfriend to still enjoy it. There were many times when I had no problems.

I don't drink at all, don't smoke, and don't take drugs. I have no idea what caused the problems when they happened.

Recently, it's gotten worse. I met a girl and the first time we were about to have sex, I lost my erection and couldn't get it back, and over the last few days, I met another girl and the same thing happened. I stayed at her house for 2 days, and attempted sex 4 times, and each time, I got hard during foreplay and stayed hard while her hands and mouth were on me, but after 10 minutes or so, or when sex was about to start, I completely lost it and couldn't get it back, even with her giving me oral. One time, I even lost my erection during her giving me oral - very embarrassing and I couldn't figure it out at all.

I don't think it's stress because the first time with the previous girl, and the first time with this latest one, I wasn't thinking negative thoughts at all. I'd forgotten things and put it down to "one of those things" and I was confident. However, after the first aborted attempt with this new girl, it was obviously on my mind and probably affected the next few times. Anxiety is probably a factor now, but I'm not sure if that's what caused it.

I can get hard masturbating, but it's definitely a weaker erection than I remember getting last year, for example, and I've noticed that my flaccid size is a lot smaller than it used to be.

Does anyone know what might be happening - could I have a blood pressure issue, or something medical....or does it sound like anxiety? If so, what anxiety remedies have people found helpful? If it is anxiety, will medications like viagra even work? Surely viagra shouldn't be an option for a 26 year old? I hear guys saying "it happens to all of us sometimes" but should I be worried it's happening so frequently recently?

 

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Hi Stevie,

I think it may be anxiety.  It is unlikely to be physical since you can get an erection.

Start out with a thorough physical exam, just to rule that out. 

It's not uncommon for a guy to lose his erection during sex occasionally.  Usually you can get it back easily.  The thing is, the mind is powerful.  Once you lose it and start to focus on it, it just makes the problem worse.

Try not to focus so much on the sex next time.  Just focus on her and let what happens happen. 

Start with the physical and then relax and have some fun.

Keep us posted.
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Hello there. I am 43 years old and recently I have recovered from the anxiety - not fully, but I am fine now. But I noticed that when I was taking those pills, I was not able to maintain the erections if you know what I mean. So, I strongly do believe that I do have issues with erectile dysfunction and I am considering to take a natural treatment for erectile dysfunction, but I don't know which medicine is the best. So I was hoping that you can help me. Which one is the best for me? I have problems with this for three months, I think...

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I have had it occasionally, but for every 5 sex attempts, I'd be fine 4 of them, and it'd just go soft once every now and then. It wasn't a big deal because I can "hide" or work around that problem by doing other stuff, and everything would be fine. However, with this new girl, it's happened 100% of the time for the 4 or 5 attempts, which is now becoming a problem, and obviously on my mind more. I agree with you, and think it's anxiety but I dont remember being anxious before.....I'm only thinking about it now because it's happened! So, maybe a physical problem started it? What sort of tests should I ask for the doctor for, or should I just go there and explain everything?
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I'd start by asking for a full physical. Then tell the doctor what is happening. Let them take it from there.

Is there anything different, how you feel, what you think, about this new girl or you with this new girl?
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