Female Orgasms

When you masturbate can you orgasm? 

Have your bf concentrate solely on clitoral stimulation, mostly that is all that gets me off - if my hubby goes anywhere else I get bored and start drifting off and I have to remind him he has gone off path.  Remember a relationship is about communication in and out of the bed as well.

I've faked for a long time too but I finally got sick of that and masturbating by myself so I started being vocal.

good luck and hope this helps

When you say you arouse each other, are YOU aroused? I mean it's obvious when he is because it stands up and says here I am, but do you experience anything yourself?

I always had the problem of coming almost as soon as I put my little guy in his happy place so what I did was do her first using my hand, fingers, lips, tongue. I made her come first then I would send him in for his fun. While I was doing her I usually came anyway so by the time he got to go in he was on his second time around and he could last a lot longer for both our pleasure. I did have the advantage of being able to remove my teeth for oral so I could pleasure her using my whole mouth to suck on her clit and labia and lick her without ever scratching anything. Getting dentures at 19 was a blessing in disguise. No sore nipples either.

I did have to learn what worked best for her but that was my job, not hers. So I would say he needs to work on you and learn (figure out) what works for you. You can help him by telling him when he's getting it right but he's the one who has to do it. Many times I spent more than an hour with my face in her heavenly spot. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. There were a few times when we just had to stop from exhaustion, but that was due to having one (or 2 or 3) too many at the bar that evening.

Liz I'm sorry to hear about the faking. It would be devastating to me to discover my wife had been faking. It would really hurt. I hope you worked that out OK.

thank you for help. I'll definetly consider all those things. Now about comfronting him on all the faked orgasms. How do I begin with that? It's been over a year and I must say I'm scared and very skeptical as to whether or not i should be upfront about this. I don't want to hurt him but i'm very worried and this is always on my mind when i am alone with him so this problem of mine "kills the mood" so to say.

Liz may be the expert here on how or IF to tell him ---- LOL.

I'm not sure honesty is the best policy. I think I would rather NOT know.

There are many things in a relationship I believe are better left unsaid. For example, when I was single and dating I didn't feel I should know all about the guys the girl I was dating had known before me. I don't want to hear about what she did with X or Y or Z. I was only focused on what I knew about her from when I met her. When we're getting intimate I don't want images of some other guy who WAS here coming into my head.

So something like faking orgasms in the past may be better left in the past. If he should ask if you faked an orgasm it may be better to be honest but why bring it up yourself? "Oh BTW honey, I've been faking orgasms for a long time". To me that would be a sure way to hurt a guy but even worse it destroys his faith in you. Now he's not sure he can believe anything you say. I don't see how that can be anything but negative. I think you should focus on getting everything to work better now.

Do you engage in oral sex as part of your foreplay? I consider that to be the main course for satisfying my wife. The fact that I love doing it more than anything helps too. Not to be too melodramatic but to me her body is like a fine instrument and I had to learn how to play it. While a guy is more like a firecracker, you light the fuse and it goes boom. I have to tell you it took me years to learn how to play her instrument. When I was a teen they taught us NOTHING that was useful to bring to our married sex life. In fact it was almost illegal to even try to find out what you needed to know. After nearly 50 years of marriage, I'm still refining and perfecting what I do and I'm sure what works for her changes over the years.

With that in mind, there's certainly nothing wrong with trying to make things work better ---- all the time. It's not just going in for the kill on her clit. That's not very satisfying for her even if it does produce an orgasm. I need to kiss and love every part of her that is in front of my face. Inner thighs, both sides of her vulva inside and out, up to her breasts and she loves me sucking on her nipples and rubbing them. Then I work back down to her vulva and spread her lips so I can kiss and lick everything inside trying to stay away from her clit but maybe teasing it a little bit. Sticking my tongue as far into her vagina as I can and licking all around the entrance. Eventually slurping my way back up to finish her off by concentrating on her clit.

There is just sooo much to do and so little time to do it. Along the way I would stick one or two fingers inside to play around her cervix. She loved it when I circled it with tip of my finger and sometimes she even liked it when I stuck my finger tip into the opening. I had to test that though because she didn't always like it. Same thing with rubbing on her G spot. So it changes every time, something feels good now but not the next time. I could spend a half hour to an hour on her before I sent the little guy in and over time we perfected it so that when I did send him in and he got his, it was HEAVEN. That's one advantage to being married, you get to keep working on it to make it better.

I hope some of this is helpful for you.

No it's OK as in vocal as to what I like where I like it and how I like it. He also watches me masturbate so that he can learn how I enjoy to do it too myself and then he does the same or in his version. I used to be really shy in the bedroom about sex and my body but not anymore I'm a new woman - confident and sexy who now squirts (yummy).

I'm sorry to do this but you really need to see this DO NOT TELL HIM EVER THAT YOU HAVE FAKED ORGASMS!!!! YOU JUST NEED TO GAIN CONFIDENCE LIKE ME AND LET HIM KNOW HOW AND WHERE YOU LIKE IT RUBBED, KISSED, POKED, SQUEEZED, ETC. He has feelings and you will blow his ego big time and you may even give him erectile dysfunction (that is not pleasant for him or you).

Make sense?

Glad to hear that from someone else Liz.

I would really be hurt finding out that she had been faking orgasms. I don't know if it would be ego related like feeling I was a failure or more the fact that I trusted her and found out she had been lying. Probably both. But my way of seeing it probably relates more to my age. I no longer feel like a big zero just because it didn't work this time. That's just life. Sometimes you can't get it up, sometimes she doesn't get there.

As the song says: sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windshield.