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my boyfriend and I have just started having sex, he's more experienced than me. It seems like everytime we have sex he has an orgasm. But I still haven't had one. He lasts a very long time, and I still haven't had one, even during oral, and fingering I didn't get one. I get wet and am a very turned on person,and I have orgasms when I masterbate, but I haven't had an orgasm during sex, is there something wrong with me? I went to the doctor before I started having sex and got a complete physical (vagina and breasts) and got a perfecly clean bill of health, except for having a small case of bacterial vaginosis (can't spell) but my doctor wasn't concerned, she just told me to drink more fluids. So why can't I have an orgasm?


I suggest you stop masturbating. Many people who masturbate are able to orgasm when they masturbate, but not when they have sex. It's a common side effect of masturbation.

When you do stop, it'll still take a little while before you can orgasm during sex. However, give your body the time it needs. Also spice things up in your sexual relationship with a lot of tender moments. Use lingerie, loving language, sexy music, etc. When a women feels very emotionally connected to her partner, she's more likely to orgasm. Whatever will help you feel more in love with your boyfriend will help you.


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Health Ace
6880 posts
If you're getting wet, he's getting the engine started OK.
If you know how to pleasure yourself, why not show him exactly what you do so he can do that to you. You have to learn from each other what the other person likes and what works.
Many women do not get orgasms well during vaginal sex, my wife doesn't. I have to use my hand on her clitoral area if I want her to come while I'm inside her. I say clitoral area because that's another problem we have. She has absolutely no visible clitoris. I can't find anything, not even a grain of sand under the skin. I have to use three fingers flat against her to cover the area. It is there. She puts my middle finger where she wants it, but because I can't feel anything, it always strays away from the right spot. That's why I use three fingers, flat.

So I think you just need to help him learn what works. Sex is different for every couple, it's what works for you, and that's a joint venture.

If you are the type who doesn't get vaginal orgasms then you (he) do it by clitoral stimulation.

I don't want to argue with Bedson but I don't buy into the theory that masturbation is a limiting factor. My wife can have orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. The only limiting factor is that the area gets sore after a while. Of course her hand works better than mine. It has the advantage of being connected to her brain for feedback. Whether I'm rubbing her or she is, it's still masturbation as far as I'm concerned.

Men do have a limiting factor because it won't rise to the occasion after a while.

For me anyway, my little fella liked it so much inside there that it was always better than masturbation. He had no problem coming while he was in heaven. :-D