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My son was just married. The bride's father and his new wife took care of most of the details of the reception. When we got there after taking pictures, guests had already been there a while. There were reserved tables for the bride and grooms family but no other assigned seats. I wanted to seat our friends at a table next to ours as we had a very small group with us since it was an out of town wedding. So I tried to find a table around ours. There were some glasses on one table but I didn't know if someone just left them there while mingling or they were planning to sit there. This man came over said he was the bride's father's business partner and that he was in charge because the father wasn't there. He got very arrogant with me and wanted to know what I wanted him to do, move people from their tables? I said I didn't know whether we could use the table with the glasses on it, etc. He started acting like I was a real pain. Well, I was the groom's mother! So, I said never mind and I sat down. A while later I went over to the table in question and was talking to daughter's b.f.'s parents and this same guy who was sitting at the brides father's table by now comes over and asks if there is still a problem. What do you want me to do, move these people from their seats? I said no, very nicely, everything is fine. I felt like these people were giving me dirty looks but I was busy so I didn't think about it. So everything was fine and then later, the husband's new wife (who the family hates but are nice to) came up to me while no one is around and puts on this fake niceness she does, while at the same being nasty and sarcastic saying I am so sorry that you didn't like our seating arrangement. I heard you had a problem with it. She was very nasty. So I said, Right! and started to walk past her. She said What?? like she was surprised cause that wasn't the answer she expected. I just lost it and turned around and said,, what do you care? You are not a member of this family, you are a second wife (she broke up the marriage, btw) and I'm getting kind of sick of your sweety sweety act. Well, I know I shouldn't have said it but I didn't plan it. So then she starts crying and people started comforting her. She was telling everyone there I hurt her feelings. I went outside. So I said I was sorry to her. She ruined my son's wedding for me. I was so upset, like a nightmare. The exwife and kids understood. What do I do about the father? i don't have to apologize again, do I? She ruined the wedding for me and then had a big drama about herself. They live out of town so I won't see them (much)

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No, you ruined your sons wedding for yourself. You had to have known that this women was going to be at that ceremony, and knowing this you just should have mentaly prepared yourself. You had more than enough time as a wedding of that size just doesn't come together overnite.
As the mother of the groom, you should have had some in put in that wedding. You had every right to speak to the person or persons (her parents) to tell them that you had a small group of friends with you and wanted them to be seated the closest to you. In order for this man to come over to you while you were talking at the other table, you must have said something about the seating arrangements loud enough for him to hear. You were probably pissed off, which in turn, pissed him off. He was "tacky" and rude for sure.
Every family has a "b***h" in it. That is the one that the rest of the family has got to tolerate. Whether it be a mom, a sister, an aunt etc... there is always one in every bunch. Knowing this, you should have put your best foot forward, as hard as it was to do it. Even tho this women appeared to be "fake" and sweety sweet as you say, so what, tolerate it. Bite your tounge and go grab another drink. This was your son's special day. The day that we as parents look forward to. I hope your son didn't get wind of this out break. They were comforting her and you probably felt like an ass.
Of course the ex understood, she probably hates this women anyway, so any cat fight that breaks out is going to be entertainment for her.
You apologized, so be it. You do not have to do anymore. The confrontation was with her, not the whole room. You could probably apologize to your son and his new wife as well. Now that you guys are all intertwind now thru marraige, expect to see more of this women. There is going to be possibly a baby in the future, birthdays, anniversary party's, suck it up and move on. You do not have to sickening sweet when you see her, just smile and nod. Then when the next event is over and she leaves town again, you can blow off some steam over the telephone. Call those that can't stand her and complain until your hearts content.
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