Me and my wife to be are both virgins. We love each other are are really looking forward to being together but she is a bit afraid of our first sexual experience. I will be gentle and win her over slowly but I need your help on a couple of issues.
1. I imagine this will be painful for her, but are there any indicators for when I should withdraw? What if she cries?
2. During the first experience and after if I notice blood should I stop?
3. What can I do for her afterwards that will help reduce the pain? Are there any particular foods/drinks etc that you would advise.
4. After the first intercourse, how soon again can we make love?
Can any ladies advise me on things I should not do during our first night together? Maybe even what helped to make it special for you? Anything else I should know please let me know.
Thanks in advance.
1. I imagine this will be painful for her, but are there any indicators for when I should withdraw? What if she cries?
2. During the first experience and after if I notice blood should I stop?
3. What can I do for her afterwards that will help reduce the pain? Are there any particular foods/drinks etc that you would advise.
4. After the first intercourse, how soon again can we make love?
Can any ladies advise me on things I should not do during our first night together? Maybe even what helped to make it special for you? Anything else I should know please let me know.
Thanks in advance.
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My husband and I were virgins our wedding night, as well. I believe I can really help you out on this.
First of all, there are things that she can do to stretch her out before she has sex for the first time. She should see an OB/GYN and get some applicators that gradually stretch her so that it's not so painful the first time.
As for your first question, ask her to be honest with you. Ask her to tell you if it's painful. Communication is very important when having sex for the first time.
Some women bleed the first time; others do not. If she were to use the applicators, she probably wouldn't bleed. Try and convince her to do this. I'm really glad I did.
If she does bleed, don't worry. It's probably going to be scary, but it'll be okay. Have some baby wipes on hand to clean up any mess.
I suggest that she take some ibuprofen about an hour before. So, if you're in the car on the way to the hotel or wherever you're staying, she can take some ibuprofen. If she hurts afterwards and hasn't yet taken them, that should help with the pain.
If she still hurts after taking ibuprofen (remember, it takes about 45 minutes for it to kick in), try using baby wipes. These have helped me in the past. So, be sure to have them on hand. They're really useful! The baby wipes usually add a cold feeling that soothes and comforts.
The both of you may have sex as soon and as often as you feel is comfortable. This being your honeymoon, it'll probably be a lot. The both of you should pay attention to your bodies and see what you can do.
And please remember, honeymoon sex, when you are having sex for the first time, can be frustrating. Communication, love, understanding, compassion, etc. are very important. Above all, patience is important.
First of all, there are things that she can do to stretch her out before she has sex for the first time. She should see an OB/GYN and get some applicators that gradually stretch her so that it's not so painful the first time.
As for your first question, ask her to be honest with you. Ask her to tell you if it's painful. Communication is very important when having sex for the first time.
Some women bleed the first time; others do not. If she were to use the applicators, she probably wouldn't bleed. Try and convince her to do this. I'm really glad I did.
If she does bleed, don't worry. It's probably going to be scary, but it'll be okay. Have some baby wipes on hand to clean up any mess.
I suggest that she take some ibuprofen about an hour before. So, if you're in the car on the way to the hotel or wherever you're staying, she can take some ibuprofen. If she hurts afterwards and hasn't yet taken them, that should help with the pain.
If she still hurts after taking ibuprofen (remember, it takes about 45 minutes for it to kick in), try using baby wipes. These have helped me in the past. So, be sure to have them on hand. They're really useful! The baby wipes usually add a cold feeling that soothes and comforts.
The both of you may have sex as soon and as often as you feel is comfortable. This being your honeymoon, it'll probably be a lot. The both of you should pay attention to your bodies and see what you can do.
And please remember, honeymoon sex, when you are having sex for the first time, can be frustrating. Communication, love, understanding, compassion, etc. are very important. Above all, patience is important.
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Thank so much for taking the time out and replying. Please the other ladies on this board, stop being so stingy! Please help a cave man out! Your forever complaining about us men and when we try to be a bit more understanding you hold back!
I don't like the idea applicators that stretch her. The thing is she is very shy about this sort of thing so I have to win her trust first, we have not discussed sex in any detail. Another thing is that I feel it's something we need to go through together. If I show patience and that I'm not just being selfish, I can gently open her up. it's a time of trust and vulnerability, if I win her over this, she will hopefully trust me in future. I don't like the idea of something have intimacy with my wife, I'm for her and she is for me.
Thanks for the tips, really helped a lot. Do you know of any foods that can help ease the pain? Like I know there are foods that warm you up towards sex (I know the term but cannot spell it), someone told me that women tend to eat chocolate a lot when they are menstruating? Thanks again.
I don't like the idea applicators that stretch her. The thing is she is very shy about this sort of thing so I have to win her trust first, we have not discussed sex in any detail. Another thing is that I feel it's something we need to go through together. If I show patience and that I'm not just being selfish, I can gently open her up. it's a time of trust and vulnerability, if I win her over this, she will hopefully trust me in future. I don't like the idea of something have intimacy with my wife, I'm for her and she is for me.
Thanks for the tips, really helped a lot. Do you know of any foods that can help ease the pain? Like I know there are foods that warm you up towards sex (I know the term but cannot spell it), someone told me that women tend to eat chocolate a lot when they are menstruating? Thanks again.
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