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I just got married 3 months ago and just bought a house. We haven't even gone on our honeymoon ( its next week) and I found out I was 3 weeks pregnant. I decided to terminate it but did not tell my husband. I know he would want to keep it but I am not ready. I told him that I had my period and a bad UTI to explain the no sex and pain I was going through. Part of me knows I am being selfish but money wise and timing I know it is not right. I feel that I do have the choice and know I have to be more careful with birth control. I was wondering if anyone had the same experience. Thanks.

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Wow. Think about your vows and how you became "one". Your body is not your own anymore. The decision to end a life you both created is not yours to make alone. Think about how keeping this secret violates the trust you promised. Think about how, or if your marriage will survive if, & when the truth is revealed. There are more ways than one for the truth to come out... You may or may not be able to concieve again in the future, you may have compromised your cervix & not be able to carry a baby to term, a medical Dr can tell, in some cases, if you have had an elected abortion, not to mention that when you fill out medical paperwork throughout the rest of your life & have to answer the question, "How many pregnancies have you had?", you will continue to lie on every form & be reminded of your secret all over again. Then of course, there is the fact that you are lying to the one person you should trust the most with your whole being. If you can't trust him (he obviously can not trust you) then you both need counseling now before you embark on a lifetime together, much less a honeymoon. I got pregnant on my honeymoon. Trust me, it was not the best time to get pregnant either for many of the same reasons you mentioned, but I would not change a thing & our son is my joy. Think about it.
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Her body IS her own. And it is her decision to do with it what she wants. Now, the sneaky part, not so good.
Right away you are getting off to a bad start. If it was that easy to lie about something that gigantic, is it going to be just as easy to lie about everything else?
You really have to be careful here.
Abortions are not bad. Abortions are not good. It depends on the situation. Your situation and reason was not really bad enough to do what you did without talking to your husband first.
So what if he would have been happy and wanted this child. It's his right to, isn't it?
I would say what you did (not telling hubby) was a bad choice. I just hope it doesn't become to easy for you to be un truthful.
This is your cross. I do think it will get to heavy for you to carry on your own, and eventually your husband will find out.
Honestly, you really sound like a nice person and i know newlyweds need a lot of time together before they bring on a child but, why were you not taking some kind of birth control? That is usually taken care of before you actually get married. You had to have known that the pregnancy possibility was there. Keeping your fingers crossed is not birth control.
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Well said!! I know we can do irrational things in times of extreme stress, but this was not your choice to make on your own! Even though you may view your body as your 'own' (I disagree), that baby was also your husband's. But what is done is done and there's no point in chastising now. Just do the right thing and discuss it with your husband and hopefully he'll be able to forgive you. Although, I would be more worried about seeking a higher forgiveness if I were you.

BTW, I'm kind of tired of hearing the same old mantra "our bodies are ours to do with as we please!". Anyone who thinks their body is their 'own' is someone with a humanistic worldview based on moral relativism. If it makes you feel better to believe that right and wrong is relative, so be it for you. But, in reality, right and wrong are ABSOLUTE. Of course, there's only one place you can go to understand the guidelines for absolute right and wrong. Try it out. You may still disagree, but that's the power of conviction. Philosophical tirade over.....
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I agree it is not your choice to make alone. my sister in law became pregnant, and decided to abort the baby because she liked her job that she had at the hospital and was not allowed to work in that department while pregnant too much radiation. anyways she did tell her husband and he wanted the child she did not and she had the abortion any way. he even went as far as quitting his job and following her and seeking a lawyer to stop her. but she did it any way, they are now divorced, and he is on depression medicine. so no i do not think it is your body to do with it as you choose. and every woman on here is it is my life well that is so selfish because no it is not your life it is the chils life too, and in your case your husbands. i wish you the best but you need to be honest and if your marriage fails well you can thank your CHOICE for that.
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I think it is important to tell your husband everything, as the other poster said you can have serious consequences if you don't tell him. I feel that if you have an abortion its okay for whatever the reason personal to you. However, secrets breed more distance between two people. I have encountered more problems in this situation personally than you, I want an abortion and cannnot tell my husband as it is from someone else. My doctor tricked me into thinking I am not pregnant and refused to give me an ultrasound. So don't lie to your husband, its an uncomfortable burden to bear, especially if he is supportive and would have been a good father to that child. Let him grieve. He will understand your motives if he truly loves you. My husband and I are about to come to that challenge if I tell him. But I know it won't be a good feeling compared to you.
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I find it appalling how all of you are so quick to judge. Yes both people created the baby, however until you have been in this situation you don't know how scary it is. It is terrifying knowing everybody around you wants the baby and is telling you how excited they are meanwhile, you have to pretend to be excited too but deep down you cannot wait to get an abortion. My husband wants the baby. I don't I'm young, still living and making mistakes, haven't finished school yet. You people might think I'm being selfish but nobody has asked me how I feel about it. Everybody just assumed I was happy to be pregnant at 23 and it was unplanned. I once mentioned abortion and my husband almost kicked me out. In the end it's my body, even if I am married. I would have the baby, I would take care of it and if I feel I'm not ready then I'm not ready despite everybody telling me otherwise. You shouldn't judge some one because of a decision they made that they feel/know was the best for them at the time. Btw I was always against abortion and now being in this situation it puts things into perspective and makes me rethink my choices.
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yea but your playing around with peoples emotions
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Honey, I know you are dead terrified, but please don't have this abortion! Sometimes, after an abortion, a woman will regret it and I don't want that happening to you. Please, go see your local crisis pregnancy center for advice and what to do with the child before you do something risky.
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I just turned 27 and I had a medical abortion just yesterday. I didn't tell my husband about it. He thinks I am having a miscarriage. I have been married for 6 years, we have no children together. I have a son and he has a daughter. I love my husband but he is not a good father. I paid the $550 to Planned Parenthood and took the pills at 8 weeks. I did this all by myself no support or anything. I don't need it. I am a strong woman and I know my decision was the best choice FOR ME! Ignore everyone's judgements. No one knows what your life is like or the burden having a child will cause in your life.

I don't get why everyone is so quick to judge when it's not your body nor your life. Do you know how many children are up for adoption? That's probably because their mother didn't want to keep them and because of people like all of you, those mothers kept the child and now that child is alive and suffering! You can't chose the "better" of both evils when an innocent child will suffer LIVING not dying. Food for thought.
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your judging the child , which is worst ,and how do you know that the adopted children are suffering ,your not god!!
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These answers are appalling. She has autonomy over her body no matter what and it is absolutely her choice to get an abortion. She also has the right to privacy. Wives don’t have control over their husband’s bodies. Husbands should not have control over their wive’s bodies either.
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