Its easier to start of with fingerplay, start with one, then two and if you can work your way up to three thats great. Thats exactly what my boyfriend does and it works, i know gay sex is slightly different to your problem but i know how you feel.
Yours truly-pokeybumwanklover219
Yours truly-pokeybumwanklover219
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Okay, firstly (and I know this is easier said than done), you need to relax! The shaking you're all experiencing is due to nervousness, and closing your legs is a psychological defence mechanism. It's like how you wince if something comes fast toward your face.
This extends to your inner muscles as well. When a person gets nervous, their muscles tense - and vaginal muscles are no exception. The vagina has a lot of muscles, and they can offer a lot of resistance if you "tighten up." If you're stressed or panicky, the layers of muscles in there will contract, closing up your vaginal entry until it's hard to insert a finger, let alone a penis.
Getting to the "advice" part of this advice listing, I cannot say enough how important it is that you take the time to engage in foreplay. It can be exciting, and you may want to rush to conclusion, but a little delay and "teasing" yourselves can actually heighten the mood. Explore one another, not just around the genitals, but the neck, the wrists near the palm, the spine... anywhere the skin might be sensitive. This gives your body to get all those pleasurable hormones running through your system, and gives you time to get used to the idea of being intimate and unclothed with your partner. Some people have referred to "fingering" as a first step - but remember that you can even start with rubbing, maybe around the belly, thighs and backside - before you ever go for penetration.
When it comes to "the big moment" lubrication is another big key. Someone above mentioned Real Lube, but Astroglide, KY Jelly and many others are available. Remember to use a water-based lube, as oil-based lubes will weaken condoms. Aside from penetration, you may also want to use the lubricant for massage elsewhere, before moving on to the main event.
Finally, someone mentioned taking asprin or other pills to alleviate the pain. I suppose this would work, if you just want to get it done, but the same chemicals that dull your senses to pain may also dull you to the pleasure. The main reason that this works is what we call a "placebo effect." Your mind says "Okay. I've taken something. It won't be so bad now." This causes you to loosen up (figuratively and literally), and those muscles I was talking about before become less tense. This makes it easier to enter without pain.
Finally, if you try for penetration, and find that you can't do it, it doesn't mean you can't still have passion and intimacy. Too often, we treat this as a failure. Instead of backing off altogether, try touching some manual or oral stimulation (for both of you). A lot of pleasure can come from a "ha****b" or rubbing the clitoris and labia, and that pleasure will help you avoid any feeling of let-down that might stand in the way next time.
This extends to your inner muscles as well. When a person gets nervous, their muscles tense - and vaginal muscles are no exception. The vagina has a lot of muscles, and they can offer a lot of resistance if you "tighten up." If you're stressed or panicky, the layers of muscles in there will contract, closing up your vaginal entry until it's hard to insert a finger, let alone a penis.
Getting to the "advice" part of this advice listing, I cannot say enough how important it is that you take the time to engage in foreplay. It can be exciting, and you may want to rush to conclusion, but a little delay and "teasing" yourselves can actually heighten the mood. Explore one another, not just around the genitals, but the neck, the wrists near the palm, the spine... anywhere the skin might be sensitive. This gives your body to get all those pleasurable hormones running through your system, and gives you time to get used to the idea of being intimate and unclothed with your partner. Some people have referred to "fingering" as a first step - but remember that you can even start with rubbing, maybe around the belly, thighs and backside - before you ever go for penetration.
When it comes to "the big moment" lubrication is another big key. Someone above mentioned Real Lube, but Astroglide, KY Jelly and many others are available. Remember to use a water-based lube, as oil-based lubes will weaken condoms. Aside from penetration, you may also want to use the lubricant for massage elsewhere, before moving on to the main event.
Finally, someone mentioned taking asprin or other pills to alleviate the pain. I suppose this would work, if you just want to get it done, but the same chemicals that dull your senses to pain may also dull you to the pleasure. The main reason that this works is what we call a "placebo effect." Your mind says "Okay. I've taken something. It won't be so bad now." This causes you to loosen up (figuratively and literally), and those muscles I was talking about before become less tense. This makes it easier to enter without pain.
Finally, if you try for penetration, and find that you can't do it, it doesn't mean you can't still have passion and intimacy. Too often, we treat this as a failure. Instead of backing off altogether, try touching some manual or oral stimulation (for both of you). A lot of pleasure can come from a "ha****b" or rubbing the clitoris and labia, and that pleasure will help you avoid any feeling of let-down that might stand in the way next time.
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Benzocaine is a local anesthetic (numbing medication). It works by blocking nerve signals in your body.
Benzocaine topical is used to reduce pain or discomfort caused by minor skin irritations, sore throat, sunburn, teething pain, vaginal or rectal irritation, ingrown toenails, hemorrhoids, and many other sources of minor pain on a surface of the body. Benzocaine is also used to numb the skin or surfaces inside the mouth, nose, throat, vagina, or rectum to lessen the pain of inserting a medical instrument such as a tube or speculum.
***edited by moderator*** web addresses not allowed
Benzocaine topical is used to reduce pain or discomfort caused by minor skin irritations, sore throat, sunburn, teething pain, vaginal or rectal irritation, ingrown toenails, hemorrhoids, and many other sources of minor pain on a surface of the body. Benzocaine is also used to numb the skin or surfaces inside the mouth, nose, throat, vagina, or rectum to lessen the pain of inserting a medical instrument such as a tube or speculum.
***edited by moderator*** web addresses not allowed
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ok, i just turned 15 and i had sex for the first time earlier today with my boyfriend. but before that i gave him a hand - and a blowjob. i strpiteased for him and sat on a chair with my legs really far apart while he sat infornt of me, looking and touching and afterwards he watched me while i touched myself. this was in the kitchen. then in his bedroom we did it on the bed, really passionately, so we forgot protection. so i want to know, is there a pill i can take now, as to prevent pregancy from the sex earlier?
i was still a virgin, but he wasn't and he already has a lot of experience (he's 19). we tried out all kinds of positions and he said that the one best for deflowering is doggy style. is that true?
he says next time he wants to put his penis in my ass. what are the dangers there?
he also did a lot of dirty talk during sex; told me stuff he wanted to do to me and so on, and he asked me to learn some for next time, does anyone know good stuff?
and, is it dangerous to do so many different things during your first time? he said it was good to completely break the hymne...is that true?
i am so confused!
i was still a virgin, but he wasn't and he already has a lot of experience (he's 19). we tried out all kinds of positions and he said that the one best for deflowering is doggy style. is that true?
he says next time he wants to put his penis in my ass. what are the dangers there?
he also did a lot of dirty talk during sex; told me stuff he wanted to do to me and so on, and he asked me to learn some for next time, does anyone know good stuff?
and, is it dangerous to do so many different things during your first time? he said it was good to completely break the hymne...is that true?
i am so confused!
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first of all..there are a lot of different feelings about having sex and what a person likes. Think hard about what you do and do not want to do. I never liked sex in the ass, and a lot of people do..I wouldn't recommend it for a first time experience and certainly not for a virgin..that is just silly.
Passion and being smart are not always friends. Always use protection no matter what. STD's are not funny.
There is a morning after pill that works similar to having an abortion...you experience cramps and don't feel good for a day..but it works. Best to use protection and i don't just mean the pill. Again STD's are not fun.
I think it best to explore what you want to do and when you want to do it....you are the boss here not your boyfriend. If he cares about you he will work with you to make you feel comfortable. If he doesn't..he isn't worth the toilet paper he uses to wipe his.....
cheers.
Passion and being smart are not always friends. Always use protection no matter what. STD's are not funny.
There is a morning after pill that works similar to having an abortion...you experience cramps and don't feel good for a day..but it works. Best to use protection and i don't just mean the pill. Again STD's are not fun.
I think it best to explore what you want to do and when you want to do it....you are the boss here not your boyfriend. If he cares about you he will work with you to make you feel comfortable. If he doesn't..he isn't worth the toilet paper he uses to wipe his.....
cheers.
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oh, i have another question: does it feel different if u have sex without condom? does it feel better? and is it better for the first time? easer maybe even?
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Has anyone figured out the answer to this? I know this post is over a year old so I'm wondering if any of you have actually been able to have sex yet? I have been married for over a year now as well and I haven't been able to have sex. I am so terrified by it. I want to have sex but every time he tries to go in I can't help but to close my legs either. Please if there is anything that you can share I will be grateful.
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i found easyiet way it didnt hurt at all was lay on your side and get your bf to lay behind you and put his penis to ur vaginal hole and dont let move or help you or it will hurt but ones just lil bit in move back forth and it slowly go in and once u can get it in all way do that for few mins till you feel comfterble then get him help you gently then after you do that for few mins you can go into any position you want :) i hope this helps and also you may need do this few times having sex and after a few times you can put it in with out it hurting
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same with ma gal;all wat i did niliensure that she s relaxed and touched all his body part ,gave her swit words at last she held my penis n inserted it in her wet p***y it just came automatically . She only bled very little even one cud not note,at first time i was so stressed coz we cud not enjoy sex, give it a try dia but u must relax ur body gd luck
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It could be that your not comfortable with him and or are not ready yet. im 18 and still a Virgin and my and my fiance still havent had sex but were waiting till marriage. ANY way if it's painful have him use something else before his penis, or go slowly if it hurt dont let him pull out just leave it there and youll get used to it and then go further till it hurts again then slop leave it in and so on and so forth.. this process can take hours depending on the girl.
Trust me,
Trust me,
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