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OK! What I tell people - that are asking for help - is close your eyes, pretend your someone that does NOT know of the situation. And re read your query? What I find interesting is that you 1st defend your relationship with your ex! He is an EX for a reason - he made your life misery! So why now talk to him - if it is causing your boyfriend pain? Is it you like the attention of 2 guys? Take it from me honey, you are playing with fire, and when you play with fire SOMEONE is going to get burned! I guarantee you it's not your ex or the person spreading the rumours, it will be either yourself, your boyfriend or more than likely both of you! Think of how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot - if HE was talking all the time to his ex and you were REALLY concerned and he still kept talking to her? Wouldn't feel so great would it? What would you want him to do? IF it's to stop talking to his ex - then you must follow your own medicine! When we are more concerned with attraction with our exes and not what made us exes, we do our hearts an injustice! The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side - even if you've already been on that side! We forget what jerks these people were or just how bad we felt while we were with them! Rose colored glasses come into mind! so make your mind up - are you willing to loose your boyfriend and best friend ALL because you don't want to be told what to do? Or is it because you still love your ex - and don't know where you stand, so you are keeping your boyfriend here just incase your ex doesn't want you? I know this is a bit abrupt - but been there done that, and it NEVER ends well! So REALLY think about what it is YOU want - the other stuff is fluff (the gossip etc.) think about who you love more - the ghost of a relationship that's over, or the relationship you have right now! THAT is your answer honey - plain and simple!
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