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So in December my boyfriend Maxii and I broke up. About a week or two later he and my auntie Celeste got together and are now engaged (yeah fast I know).. Maxii is 17, she's 42.. Anyways, I also fell in love and got together with a beautiful girl called Kailey around the same time, but she broke up with me two days ago saying she 'wanted to take a break for a little while'. I understand that as she has a lot going on at home right now. I still love her with all my heart but, now that I'm single again, I'm starting to get feelings back for Maxii. He was one of the most caring and loving boyfriend's I've had since Haze.. See on the one side I want to wait for Kailey to get over whatever problems she's having so we can get back together again, and be happy together for the rest of our lives, but on the other side I kinda wanna be together with Maxii. What makes it even harder is when Maxii and I were a couple, we were physically near each other. We had sex, made out, were physical. With Kailey, she lives in a different State so we were in an 'online relationship'. So now I just don't know what to do and how to control my feelings. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME.

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oh darling,  if i was you i would go with my heart, the heart never lies but make sure its the right thing to do..

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But that's the thing, I don't know what the right thing to do is :( Maxii and my auntie are still in a relationship, but I'm single and I'm craving everything about him. I love Kailey but I don't know if I can wait for her. I have needs and they have to be fulfilled you know? My auntie has cheated on Maxii twice with her ex, it wouldn't be bad if he cheated on her once too would it? :/
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hmm that's really understanding about kailey, and yes it wouldn't be cheating if your auntie didn't cheated on him twice so its not a fair relationship if she does that to him then he can do it to her because I hate that feeling but if u love him you would go up to him and show him how you feel :)
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But I don't know if he still loves me. He really, really loves my auntie but he's sent me a few messages this week and the things he said made it sound like he was flirting with me. Plus they were gonna get married this month but now he wrote on facebook that the wedding is not happening. They're still together despite her cheating twice on him, and he's been good to her and hasn't cheated.. But that might change soon ;)
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haha yeah still your auntie no offense but i dont like cheaters... i got cheated on 3-4 in a year by my ex bf same person i keep going back to him but i know this time im not gonna go there again even tho he is hot... and its still good to talk it out more and just wait till the right moment  happens ;) then do it

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My dear Lucy

So sorry to hear about your troubles. Let me try and help with a few comments and questions for starters. When reading this, think of how you would respond if it were someone else, and the advice you would give.

"So in December my boyfriend Maxii and I broke up." Why was that? Who initiated that? Think about the implications.

"he and my auntie Celeste got together and are now engaged" So he's cheated on you! Badly! Was that related to why you broke up?

"I also fell in love and got together with a beautiful girl called Kailey around the same time ... in an 'online relationship'" This was rebound response, not real love. There was not enough time (around the same time) for that to be real love ... and it was online.

"I still love her with all my heart" I think you are mistaking those senses for you say "I'm starting to get feelings back for Maxii."

"He was one of the most caring and loving boyfriend's I've had since Haze." 'Caring' & 'loving' don't match with 'cheating'. (BTW Who's Haze?)

"I want to wait for Kailey to get over whatever problems she's having so we can get back together again, and be happy together for the rest of our lives" No you don't because you say "I kinda wanna be together with Maxii" and you don't know what her problems are (otherwise you would not have said "whatever problems"!)

"What makes it even harder is when Maxii and I were a couple, we were physically near each other. We had sex, made out, were physical" That is part of the problem (a big part). The sex binds you together, and you cannot see him again as just another guy, another friend. That is something that will always be with you.

"So now I just don't know what to do" Do nothing! Take plenty of time to heal. You must. Don't take him back now, it's gone way too far for a trusting relationship.

"how to control my feelings" The emotional feelings must take their course - just like grieving. The sexual ones must be satisfied by masturbation - solo only! ("I have needs and they have to be fulfilled you know?")

"My auntie has cheated on Maxii twice with her ex, it wouldn't be bad if he cheated on her once too would it?" Yes it would! 2  'wrongs' don't make 1 'right'. That would be one of the worst things you could do - and you would be the one to blame most! Don't do it! Don't think again about doing it; if you do, don't do it!

"I don't know if he still loves me" I think you do know deep down that he does not still love you. He doesn't!

Making a clean break is not going to be easy, but you must be strong! It is essential for your future (and your child's).

You know you can chat whenever you want

Take great care

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We broke up because he was having an affair with his ex. And he didn't cheat on me with my aunt, they got together after Maxii and I broke up.

I realise now it wasn't true love, so we took a break about 2 weeks later for ca. 2 weeks. Now we're back together again since 9 or so days and this time it's real love no matter what anyone says.

Haze is my ex who I was together with from September 2011 to April 2012. I do know what problems Kailey has, she told me, but I didn't want to make them public on here out of respect for her privacy.

I do masturbate a lot more often now since I broke up with him but nothing's satisfying. I'm starting to fall back into depression because I'm so confused.
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My dear Lucy

"I'm so confused" So you need a break! Any other relationship decision you make is dangerous for you. "I'm starting to fall back into depression" means you must be very careful not to exacerbate your depression, complicating it with relationships. You will not be rational.

"We broke up because he was having an affair with his ex" So he cheated on you. You will never be able to trust him. He cheated on you, then got engaged to your aunt. Sounds like spite to me. Leave well alone!

"I realise now it wasn't true love ... it's real love no matter what anyone says" How do you know? I really don't think you are in a state to make that evaluation. You're on the rebound again, and you are "so confused". Don't fool yourself, please.

"I do know what problems Kailey has, she told me, but I didn't want to make them public on here out of respect for her privacy" I understand that, but I would have expected you to simply say "I want to wait for Kailey to get over the problems she's having" not "I want to wait for Kailey to get over whatever problems she's having". I still think that relationship is bad for you.

"I do masturbate a lot more often now since I broke up with him but nothing's satisfying" That's partly because you're "confused" and "starting to fall back into depression" (never good for satisfaction!) Also you have not got over your break-ups. But it will come. Keep at it. Remember Woody Allen's quip (something like): "masturbation is sex with someone you love". Are you getting the release-type body-quaking squirting orgasm?

"I'm starting to fall back into depression because I'm so confused" So please take care, and take note.

Keep talking about it.

With love

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i cAN undERstand what it fEels wen ur l0vedoNES lives u..esPECIALLY WEN U KNW DAT HE HAD SLEPT WID GURLZ, HE DRINKS N SMOKEZ N ALSO WEN U KNW HE'S GONNA DITCH U ANYTYM N ALL OV HIS PROMISEZ R FAKE. I thought he wud nva relate me wid da slutz he has already been n he will uneerstand my feelings, bt he didnt, even afta being physical wid me. For a gurl itz hard to move on coz I cn nva giv his place to anyone else in ma lyf. All u cn do is juz hope for da best, pray to God n he will surely return bak if u truly loved him.
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