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So me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year now. We seem to have so many problems in our relationship, that sometimes it seems like the argueing, tension and disagreements will never end. We both love eachother and i am desperate to make things work between us. I want to fix all of our problems and i dont think either of us want to break up. My only problem is that he is the most confusing person i've ever met. He has strange mood swings and its almost always impossible to figure out what hes really feeling. Sometimes it will only take me to say a single word wrong or some way offending to him and he'll be angry at me for the rest of the day, no matter how much i apoligize. I want to be happy with him but its so hard when its so easy to piss him off. I feel like everything i do is wrong, and i can never do anything right. Its so frustrating and i feel like crying all the time. Just last night I was talking to him on the phone and i asked him if he still loves me. He said yes, then i said are you sure, and there was a long pause afterwards. So i'm just like, well? do you? and he said "sometimes". I asked him what the hell he was talking about and he said no, i dont love you right now because i'm angry with you. I'm like wtf, arent you supposed to love me all the time unconditionally no matter how annoyed you are at me? His reply was "well, i think differently then other people". I'm not quite sure WHAT to think about that.

Another problem we have is sometimes if i ask him to come over or hang out one day he'll full out reject me and say he doesnt want to see me that day. Actually i shouldnt say sometimes. This happens alot. Almost every time i ask to see him he says he'd rather be alone and he doesnt feel like seeing me. He hardly ever wants to see me outside of school and i dont understand why. He's always wanting to be on his own and it depresses me that he'd rather sit at home doing nothing instead of seeing his girlfriend. Does he just want alot of space or something? I can understand him wanting a break from me every once in a while but we dont see eachother THAT often anyways. We dont even have any classes together.

I just dont know what to do anymore. I've tried talking to him, asking him why he feels this way and all he says is "i dont know" to every question i ask. I just want him to listen to me for once. I feel sick and i dont want to leave him because i love him more then any other guy i've ever met. I just want him to love me and to show it. He isnt even affectionate towards me anymore. He wont even TOUCH me without me cuddling up next to him first. I just want a guy that i know loves me and who actually expresses his feelings. I want a real boyfriend who i can understand and who would never avoid me on purpose. I want a guy who actually WANTS me back. Please help, i need advice on how to deal with this situation without breaking up with him. I probably sound pathetic.

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reply: im exactly the same with my boyfriend, except the other way around. he says something really little that annoys me and then i feel i dont want to see him for the rest of the day & he constantly annoys me no matter how many times he says sorry. Don't think that you're in the wrong, you deserve someone who loves you. I love my boyfriend more than anything but if your guy is in the same situation as me he probably feels shy or embarrad to tell you the way he feels. Just because he acts this way doesnt mean he doesnt love you hes probably just over sensitive, but he has got to get his head around that there is no 'perfect person' that does everything right all the time. Anyone can tell you that every couple has there ups and downs but its important that you both know you love each other. You need to tell your boyfriend that hes like a closed book and if he cant be bothered to make an effort with you, then why do you have to make an effort with him? If he didnt love you he probably wouldve left by now, but you just need to be calm, show him you love him and try and get him to open up. If not you need to hold your head high and move on.
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Pool back and stop going after him asking him to do things. It might be that it takes him a while to realize what's going on. But he might end up missing you and start going after you again.

In truth you need to leave this guy and build up your self esteem back. But if you really want to, give it one more shot and follow the advice from above.
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No offense, but your boyfriend sounds like he may have a more serious problem than you know. If he gets angry at you for no reason at all...maybe he has anger management problems. Ask yourself honestly if you still love this guy. In my opinion, this is a breakup waiting to happen. Questions for you though: 1. is this your first relationship? 2. is this his first relationship and has he been mistreated by other girls in the past? All these psycological aspects can have affects long after the event took place. And if you really want a guy that wants you back (what girl doesn't), then you should probably consider another boyfriend...sorry :-( Best of luck with your predicament. -David
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My boyfriends a bit like that but not as bad. he always jokes tome and its really mean jokes that i dont find funny and ive got rli upset over it and he just doesnt stop!!!! anyone know what i should do here????

HELP PLEASE XX
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im 21, a guy, and a cop and im telling you this guys doesn't sound like a good guy to be with. id almost say borderline abusive whether it be mental verbal physical whatever. i know its hard cause you have spent alot of time with him and you have grown accustom to him but you DO NOT deserve to be treated as such i recommend talking to him about these problems a few more times be patient with him when your talking and tell him that you want to be honest and to hear you out without him interrupting. if he cant do that for you then he does not respect you and you should move on. and if that be the case you will find someone who will love you unconditionally and for who you are.

P.S. im not gay lol i just know how you feel ive been in a similar situation.
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Hi there, not to be blunt, but dump your boyfriend. If he's upsetting you but he doesn't stop and you've told him repeated times, he does not respect you. His behavior will not change. You have to dump him and move on. I know that's painful, but he is not going to get nicer. Does that make sense?
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I agree with a lot of the people that have replied, you should leave him! I know it is much much easier said than done. but at least you don't have children together. then it is almost implausible because i am in that situation and i start thinking about how its my fault and i should have really thought things through completely before saying yes to this guy.
he basically considers all my feelings as irrelevant to any situation. the other day, i found the numbers of several different escorts on the phone and he claimed that his friend called them. i dont believe him because he has told me that in the past he would cheat on his gf's because they were not there or did not satisfy his sexual needs and he claimed that is not cheating. the gf knows that he has needs and if they are not there then he is allowed to cheat!

so!! if this guy is already getting angry for no reason, imagine what it will be like in the future. if its only been a year, move on! i know its hard, but believe me, there really are beautiful people out there just like you who care about other's feelings and are not selfish only for their own needs.

i bet he probably turns everything around to make it seem like you are at fault? and when you tell him that, he claims that he didnt do that, you are the one doing it to yourself!! lol, i love that, you do it to yourself. blaming karma or some existential need for your soul to go through abuse.

this claim is even better, "i am only a reflection of you!" I mean really, how do you argue that. lol, dont worry darling, move on and life will be better and you definitely have to get your self esteem back. ppl like this feed on other ppl's self esteem, they can not imagine a woman that does not need fake things to be happy so when they see one that is happy, they try to destroy her from within.
LEAVE HIM! i cant say that enough.
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sweetie let me tell you ok i m 22 male ... tell u the truth he love u prob he had bad relationship in the past that prob y he act like that i think u sld talk to him try to get closer to him,, lol when u talking to him cry lol (man fall for that when a woman cry) try to do that and talk to him let him know how much u love him care for him and u want him to change that .....
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I know how you feel. I have the same problem with my boyfriend. I think that you should leave him because you can do better.
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Hunny i totally understand my boyfriend is the same we would be messing around then he would say something which quite hurts then i wouldn't take it heart but then when i joke around in response he gets really pissy and gets mad at me !! i mean yer i can understand that maybe a few comments may hurt but it's nearly all the time :/ I've even got really depressed because this other girl kissed him and he didn't seemed bothered at all i mean in the sentence after he said that to me he said how she's wonderful and is going to give him piano lessons at her really big house :/ i then said that i didn't like the idea about how he is so cool about what happened and he told me not to get involved because it's none of my business -.- oh and to be a complete hypocrite he hates nearly all my guy friends because 'they are too close' they all have girlfriends and I've known them since the beginning of school which happens to be longer then I've known him ! he then says about how the girl that kissed him was one of his ex-girlfriends and that he said that during our relationship he doubted us and wanted to get back with another ex-girlfriend :/ he then says how he has no trust in me because with my ex-boyfriend i got really drunk a few time and did some stuff with other guys , that night he go's down to London drives a car whilst extremely drunk with some people he barely knows of which then he ends up at a party where everyone (including himself) gets naked and starts drinking off the stomachs of 'really fit London girls' and wakes up in the morning in a massive pile with these naked girls oh and at this party people were buying and selling drugs,oh and before we got together he got drunk in a tent with these girls and had a foursome of which i only found out about when we were already dating and he was showing off to some other girls we had just met :/  am I the only one who wonders if i'm the one who shouldn't be trusted ??? but the most annoying thing out of it all he is the one that always asks if there is anything up with me and i say nothing because you know how it is i mean they don't need to know every detail but he keeps persisting so i tell him why but when it comes to him he never says anything !!! i know something is bothering but he won't say a thing then when i know he is angry he won't talk to me hardly ever and i'm just trying to help him :/ oooh and then he uses all the things that have happened in my past against me and says i'm a w**** because my ex-boyfriend took advance of me when i was drunk and almost got pregnant :/ but i love him and he looves me too and it's sooo annoying because i know he's not noticing that he's doing it  but he is and god damn it i love him soo much and i just don't know what to do :/ ooh and did i forget to mention he's just turned 15 and i'm almost 17 :/
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