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okay, i am an 18 year old girl enlisted in the marines and ready for my future..

 

I met this guy over a year ago, i really liked him and i trusted him very shortly within our relationship. The only issue we really had was his obsessive ex girlfriend. She hated the fact that me and him were together. Not going to lie, she was beautiful, so i didn't want him talking to her, not at all and he was perfectly okay with that..

 During our 2 months, he went to State for a bowling tournament (very good at bowling)and sure enough his obsessive ex girlfriend was a great bowler too..they were at state together. He texted and called whenever he had the chance. I trusted him, so nothing negative crossed my mind. Late one night while he was at State he texted me saying he met some guys at the hotel and that he was going to drink with them. I told him that he better behave but other than that i knew everything would be fine.

He gets back from state, i asked him simple questions.."were you good?" "did you talk to your ex at all?" His responses were "Of course i was good, I'd never hurt you" and "Hell no i didn't talk to her. I cant stand her. Shes a crazy B***h" Those responses made me feel good and smile.

Meanwhile, everything between me and him are good, we're in love, everything is just fine. One day im on my way home from school and my friend texts me "Hey" i thought it was a little strange because i havent talked to her in months. I say "Hey whats up" right away she texts back and says "Do you still go out with Ryan" as soon as i read that i got a little nervous as of why she would ask. I tell her yes and she texted back and says "him and courtney kissed while they were at State". Imediately my heart was broken. Never have i felt pain like that in my life. Right away i texted him and confronted him...

He denied it with all his heart, he put it on his own family, but even then i couldn't believe him. I broke up with him and cried and cried and cried. Ignoring all his calls and texts, at this point i hated what he did to me. Finally, he managed to confess what he did and that he was sorry and that he loved me with all his heart and never meant to hurt me.

Me, being that girl who always told myself I would never be with a cheater, still ignored everything he had to say. So the very next day after finding this out, I was in class, continuing to ignore all his texts...I get a text that says "Please come out in the hall and talk to me and i promise i'll leave you alone" All i wanted was to be left alone so i went out in the hallway. All he said was that he was sorry and that he wanted me back, but i didnt want to hear it. When i tried walking away, he grabbed my arms and slammed me against the locker and MADE me listen. That right there was the first "incident" that i'd experienced with him. I was scared. but i took him back.

Forwarding to a month later..everything is back to normal, i obviously dont have the same trust that i used to for him, but other than that, i was still very much in love. anyways, one weekend ryan calls to tell me that hes going up north with his friend for the weekend. Deep down i didnt like it at all, but i wasnt comfortable enough yet to tell him so. The day he's supposed to come back he texts me and says "Your going to think theres a hickey on my neck but really its a scratch" as soon as i read that i called BS, but first i wanted to see it for myself.

Later that day i went to his house, that right there was a f*****g hickey. as soon as i seen it i broke down crying (first time he seen my tears) i hated him once again. I wanted to leave but he insisted I stayed and talked. I was so hurt all i could say is "How could you". I made him feel like sh*t. i asked him how he'd like it if i came home from a vacation with hickeys...he started crying with me. He just held me...

Instead of breaking up with him, i just got revenge. he found out about my revenge and broke up with me. I cared NONE! I was hurt..i hated him for what he did. He took me back the same night, we loved eachother ya know. After that, there was no more cheating, at least not for me. Things were good for a while..then the mental abuse started happening.

I wasnt allowed to have a facebook, any guys' numbers in my phone, nothing..anything that had to do with another guy. to be honest i didnt mind that, i loved him and only him. One day, i got caught up conversating with a male friend, i was honestly scared of what ryan might do. He would verbally abuse me, make me cry, make me feel like sh*t. Stuff like that happened almost everyday. After a while i couldnt take it so i tried breaking up with him in person, on my way to his house to drop him off. He took my keys out of the ignition and would NOT let me leave until he got to say what he wanted. Soon enough i was used to all of it. Then it just got worse and worse so i broke up with him via text. He was okay with it for some reason, which was weird because usually he would be at my house in minutes begging for me back. Next day my friend asks if i was still with him, i told her yes because it wasnt "really" over. then she says "He had sex with this girl last night" My heart dropped. like how could he. Even though i did end it, we both knew it wasnt over.

I grabbed all his stuff from my house and drove it over. He had no idea what was going on. Once again, he wouldnt let me leave. I told him everything and this time he admitted it but his excuse was that "we werent together". It just hurt so bad knowing all the love i had for him, he could just f**k some other girl the same night we "break up"....still, he wouldnt let me leave. i was crying, he was crying, but me being the dumb one takes him back. I told him though, that i would never take oour relationship serious ever again, that im done caring, and that im going to treat him like sh*t.

 I wasnt lying, i did and he hated it. I think it made him even more angry than he already was. i still loved him and everything but i really meant it, i wouldnt put my all into the relationship, and i didnt. Not purposely, but its like my body wouldnt let me.

Forwarding a few months..everything is good, no cheating, more trust...but WAY more anger (from him), more abuse. One day, me, him, and my friend went to mcdonalds (me and ryan have been arguing) finally when we got our food, i was just sick of the way he was talking to me in front of my friend..so me and her sat in a 2 seater. He was SO mad. Next thing you know he threw his drink at me and all over my food in front of everyone. I felt like an id**t. and to top it off, right after he threw his drink at me, he took my keys and went to my car. My friend already hated him for hurting me so much in the past, and that topped it off.

He apologized like always and of course we made up. Couple weeks later, all hell breaks loose. me and ryan get into a pretty serious arguement but this time he hits me. i was so shocked and that right  there ENDED our relationship. He begged and pleaded but I definitley was not givin in this time. I blocked his number, i ignored everything for months. i even started seeing someone else.

That didnt last long...soon enough me and ryan became friends again but i told myself that i would never take him back. Our breakup was in December 2011, its now July 2012. There is still love between us. I would love to be with him again but there is no way things would work...

I'm leaving for boot camp in November and i would NEVER trust him hundred of miles away. Should i move on or do you think i should give him another chance?

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Hey platt18 I think u should really just move on u dnt deserve to be treated like that no girl should especially wat he has done to you I no it will be.hard but u gotta do it to make urself stronger and find somebody who will treat u how u should be treated and not like trash and treat u like a queen u deserve it especially since wat u been thru but u sound like strong girl(: well keep your head up and always smile(: hope my advice works
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Get a life,please.. He does not deserve you at all!
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What exactly do you mean "get a life" because as far as i know this website is to talk about issues and this so happens to be mine. I didn't make you read it. Just sayinnnn.
Lillady22: thanks for the advice, i know i deserve better, its just that i miss being crazy in love with someone. I've tried to 'talk' to guys but its like my heart won't let me have feelings for anyone else. Idk if thats normal or what but its been 7months and i still cant seem to "like" anyone.
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Yea I no wat u mean and how u feel u get hurt soo bad by one person but ur so inlove with them still its like ur heart only wants them and noone else
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Hi platt18 I know i'm late but I'd like to say this. You are a beautiful girl. You deserve so much better. I suggest that you should find someone and try to have feelings for that person. I'm sure there Wii be simmering who will love you with full respect and you will too.don't loose hope for you're future. Right now if there is someone you are trying to love you should try to figure out if they are treating with respect. If he does you should spend tune with him. Maybe you'll find yourself loving someone that's truly important.
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Will be someone* sorry for typo.
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Time* sorry its really hard typing in my phone.
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I think Ryan dose not deserve sh*t from you no woman should be treated like that you should move on and erase him from you life
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No dont even think twice about getting back with him, that is domestic violence & no woman should ever be treated that way. Yes it is ur choice in the end but just know there are services available out there that can help u become a survivor not be a victim anymore. The average goes back 11 times & u can change that cycle, ur strong & u can do it. good luck & its all about peace :)
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I think you should move on, I had a relationship for three years with the someone that sounds like this. I was infacuated with him. I was stupid and wish I coulda took all that time I spent on the wrong person and put it on the right person. If you TRUST him, then stay. That's all I got to say.
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If your so called "boyfriend" even lays a finger on you in an abusive way, you should end it right there. No real man would hit a girl. You'll find someone lovely one day and start a family. Don't let that partner be an abusive one.

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He'll never change, I've been in a similar situation. You have to ask yourself is your life worth throwing away for an abusive and serial cheating ex? If th answer is no ( because u deserve to be treated better) then leave without looking back. You'll save yourself wasted time, wasted heart break; you'll also be healthier the sooner u end it. No more mind games, you've got to jump off the carousel and think firmly about your future. This man sounds like he'd build up his abuse until he's got a gun in your face. Get out while you can. And plus long distance relationships don't work; yes, he'll end up cheating because he's immature and doesn't care about how u feel about it. Remember love, cheating is a choice. And cheating does not show love towards you. There will be a love out there that will make you feel lifted; whether it's an inner love with healing energy or a man that would not do anything to hurt you. Just do you.
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