I'm 14 and my boyfriend's 16(he'll be 17 in August) I love him so much and recently we've been talking about sex. He's not a virgin but I am. We also kind of want a baby but have agreed to wait for a child. We don't want to use a condom and he said he'll pull out. I do want to lose my virginity to him and be with him in the future. My thing is how do I sneak him over my house so we can hang out and maybe even have sex, finger and do oral. My parents do not know about him and his are not that strict. I've already gave him oral. We've known each other for 10 months and have been together for 3-4 months. I'm super scared to sneak him over but I don't want to get caught. Please help!!!!
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Hi guest,
Why don't YOU want to use a condom? You, not him. Is he the one suggesting this?
The pull-out method is VERY unreliable and you can get pregnant the first time you have sex. Precum can contain sperm.
As for being with him in the future, say goodbye now. Once you have sex your relationship won't last. He'll move on to some other girl, yes, girl, that he can deflower. Think about this, why would an almost 17 year old be hanging out with a 14 year old? There's really only one reason, sex. You are being used my friend.
Of course once you sleep with him other guys will be after you. Why not? You slept with this guy so you'll sleep with someone else too, right? You'll really be popular at school, for all the wrong reasons.
As to wanting a baby, waiting is a good idea. Neither of you can really support one now can you? Or are you going to expect your parents to do it.
Get yourself a puppy and take care of it by yourself. Consider it a form of practice for when you become a parent. At least you can leave the dog in a kennel for a bit if you have to. Going to the mall with the baby won't be much fun for you or your friends, especially when you have to feed and change diapers all the time.
I wouldn't worry about sneaking your boyfriend over. I'm sure you expect some nice romantic experience but in reality it's going to hurt, they'll be blood, and he'll probably be done in less than a minute. You can do that anywhere.
Enjoy your first experience! Hope this helps.
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Thank you, but I'm the one who doesn't want to use a condom, he doesn't care and I honestly don't think he's the type of guy who just gets what he wants and leaves....after oral he stayed and we've become closer. I always give him a hard time over doubts and he comforts me and puts up with my craziness. I wouldn't want to lose my virginity to no one else but him..he has options but he stays with me. We talk about our problems. And he tells me the truth even though sometimes ut hurts.
Also I do want to have his child and we both want a boy:) my thing is my parents scare me:( I feel as if the baby will bring us closer considering the fact he'll be going to college next year...but another reason I am hesitant on the baby is that idk if I'm ready to commit all that time. He already works and I will be working over the summer. If we decide not to have a baby or aren't sure about it but still do not want to use a condom we've discussed plan B pills.
Also I do want to have his child and we both want a boy:) my thing is my parents scare me:( I feel as if the baby will bring us closer considering the fact he'll be going to college next year...but another reason I am hesitant on the baby is that idk if I'm ready to commit all that time. He already works and I will be working over the summer. If we decide not to have a baby or aren't sure about it but still do not want to use a condom we've discussed plan B pills.
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Guest,
Right now you have lots of hormones rushing throughout your body. They can make you feel certain ways as you're not sure how to deal with them. Your brain is not fully developed however and doesn't look "long-term" or at the risks you're taking. These are NORMAL with all teenagers.
You are making a serious mistake. Neither of you can support a child. He's going to be going off to college next year, meeting a WOMAN and that's the end of your relationship. Then you'll be 15 raising a baby by yourself, or worse with your parents help.
Trying to lock him in with a child won't work. It'll lead to resentment and anger. You really can't choose the sex of the baby either.
Why the rush to have sex or have a child? You're only 14 and have plenty of time ahead of you both. Sex does NOT make the relationship. A relationship builds on love and trust.
Why don't you want to use a condom? Instead you want to use a drug that has lots of side effects, and they'll be more pronounced in a 14 year old compared to an adult. The fact that he doesn't "care" shows that your health doesn't matter to him.
If you improve your relationship with your parents, now, maybe you'll understand that you're trying to fill a void in your life. Again, start with a puppy. At least when you get tired of it you can bring it to a shelter, not so with a baby.
Good luck - you're going to need it!
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I already have a doggy and am very close with my parents. I just don't want to tell them about this because I feel they'll overeact and forbid to talk to him.
I honestly do think I will lose my virginity to him because I feel it wouldn't be as special. I don't expect my first time to be romantic but I do expect it to be special. Also with a condom I feel I wouldn't get the same affect or it wouldn't be as good. But he says he wants a child and would be there for it.
I'm sick of my friends telling me it won't work out because they're not in our relationship and they don't know him like I do. Plus he makes me happy and tells me the truth...I wouldn't want to live without him. I can't just easily leave because now I care and my feelings are involved. He says he loves me and I believe it. I just don't want to be worried, sad or heartbroken again. And when he holds me and kiss me I feel like nothing else matters but us...also I've done a lot with him and he's been my first for a lot so I don't want to just give up on something I've put so much work and energy into...plus it might just work out.
Ohh my name is Keeran and I really appreciate your concern.
I honestly do think I will lose my virginity to him because I feel it wouldn't be as special. I don't expect my first time to be romantic but I do expect it to be special. Also with a condom I feel I wouldn't get the same affect or it wouldn't be as good. But he says he wants a child and would be there for it.
I'm sick of my friends telling me it won't work out because they're not in our relationship and they don't know him like I do. Plus he makes me happy and tells me the truth...I wouldn't want to live without him. I can't just easily leave because now I care and my feelings are involved. He says he loves me and I believe it. I just don't want to be worried, sad or heartbroken again. And when he holds me and kiss me I feel like nothing else matters but us...also I've done a lot with him and he's been my first for a lot so I don't want to just give up on something I've put so much work and energy into...plus it might just work out.
Ohh my name is Keeran and I really appreciate your concern.
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Hey Keeran,
Just a quick word. You say you are close to your parents but sneaking around like this and possibly lying to them is going to make them mistrust you and ruin your close relationship. It's better to be honest with them just like being honest with your bf. Your relationship with your parents will never end, they are your parents forever AND maybe your relationship will last with your bf too but if it doesn't you want someone that will support you when you are sad about the break up and it's usually mom.
Just giving another piece of advice to you and something else to think about.
Good luck with your decision.
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Keeran, from a parent's point of view:
At some point every parent knows their child is going to or is having sex. Yes, they may not want it to happen but it's unrealistic to think that it won't and that we can stop it.
The SMART parent will discuss their child's choices ahead of time and recognize that it is important to make sure that they are safe and use protection. Yes, "the talk!"
Talk to your mom. Tell her you plan on being sexually active and ask to be put on birth control. Then you won't need a condom and are protected. Use this as a way to get closer to your mother.
Good luck..
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Thank you for the advice...honestly right now he's getting on my nerves!!! Idk about us anymore. I feel he can't take time out for me unless it's about sex. He barely texts me first:( I understand he's busy or tired but he can take time to be on Instagram or answer other people's calls. It doesn't take that much to occasionally text me I love you, goodmorning, goodnight,how was your day??? Because I do that for him. Idek anymore because I cry when I try to let go and cry when I'm with him. HE PUTS ME THROUGH HELL!!!!!:'(
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Keeran,
What you just posted shows that he's interested in SEX, not YOU. It doesn't sound as if he's mature enough for your relationship.
Move on. It will be tough at first but after a little while you'll find someone else special.
Good luck.
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Hi! I'm 17 & I understand what your going thru. I lost my V-Card at a very young age (12) I was very mature at a very young age, I began puberty at the age of 9. I don't think you want a baby right now, I thought that when I was you're age too. But, now that I'm dealing with pregnancy (7weeks) I wish I would have waited because now I can't go out, I can't party, have fun ect because I'm pregnant. I'm very fourtenet to have a fiancée that loves & cares about me and his baby. But not all men are like this. & as for the 'pull out' method, that's how I ended up pregnant now sweetheart. & your only 14 you can't get Plan B® without a prescription from a doctor & your parents have to sign for it. Your not at consint age yet. Please think before you act! & email me if you want to talk further in detail.
Good luck, hun! :-)
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Thanks taybaby96 I have talked to someone recently that has a child which kind of made me want to wait but I haven't seen my boyfriend in a while so we still haven't got a chance to have sex yet but the next time we do see one another we will. I don't plan on telling my parents about me planning on having sex but I have been thinking about telling my sister since a while ago she told me and my bestfriend that whenever we planned on having sex just let her know so she can prepare us but I'm super scared and would love for my boyfriend or bestfriend to be there with me if I do tell her.
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We just recently broke up because I found out he was messing with other girls and he didn't want to be with me anymore. I'll admit I've been messing with other guys but they all knew about my bf. I feel happy and sad at the same time. I don't want to feel sad and move on but honestly it kind of hurts. He has another gf now and won't answer my calls or text. I feel stupid because he took advantage of me after I did all that for him. The person I cheated on him with was a 20 year old who I like and likes me but the only thing is he has a daughter. I'm so confused!!!!! I just want to feel regular
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