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Dear all,

I am new to this so wont bore everyone with too much details but....I met my girlfriend who has bi polar about 2 months ago. She had just left a violent ex. We fell in love quickly and I realised she was the one for me and she felt the same too. At first the ex was still on the scene and she would spend time with him. That didnt bother me at first. He even seemed to accept her relationship with me. However a couple of weeks ago, after refusing to get back with him, he attacked her. She finally broke contact with him

He carried on begging for forgivness and I get her a new number so he couldn't contact her. She gave it straight to him.

We had an intense relationship, I thought we were both in love deeply. She even told me she loved me and that I was her world. I met her parents who loved me and her young kid who also liked me. I really felt on top of the world. However we never had sex for the 2 months. This was mainly because she said she had medical problems and I accepted that. I would just wait.

About 2 weeks ago I was very ill and couldn't really see her as I didn't want to pass on the bug to her kid who got ill very quick. It meant in the week I saw her a couple of days. She missed me but told me she loved me. Then suddenly out of the blue she said she felt weird not seeing much of me and having a relationship by text. I asked her if she wanted to call it a day, and then when I hadn't got a reply made a decision for her. She wasn't happy so we would call it a day. I pretended I was cool with it, but deep down I wasn't . One last text to her asked if she ever loved me at all and that I didn't believe she did. Her reply was " You have no idea what I feel and how I am feeling " and that was it. The texts stopped.

On SATURDAY while out I saw her car. She was driving around ( having claimed earlier that day she was so ill she had to go to hospital ). In the car with her was her ex boyfriend. I stopped and spoke to them. She went mad at me and asked what I was doing talking to her and her ex. She kept screaming that she was single and could be with who she wanted to be and that I clearly was jealous and that's why I was talking to them. Meanwhile he was smiling telling me that he had been sleeping with her behind my back for ages, including an evening when I had just left her house. I was gutted. They both drove off.

I have sent a few messages asking what the hell was going on and she wont reply. I told her in one message " If you don't want me in your life and don't love me, tell me and I will let go and leave you both in peace," she has never replied. I now see her car outside his house everyday and I am so confused.

How did she love me so much and allow me to do so much for her, then just get up and leave for her violent ex and not care about my feelings or in fact even love me any more. Why would she sleep with him, but not me. Why in fact get with me, if it was him she wanted to be with. I really don't it.

I dont believe BIPOLAR has anything to do with it, but maybe I am wrong. I feel so strong for her, but know I have lost her for good and that makes me feel so so down. Anyone know if BI POLAR has played a part and how she stopped loving me so quick

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Hi Confused_Kent,

I'm sorry to tell you this, but you've been caught up in a 'game' between your ex and her's, and to be honest, she doesn't deserve any more attention that the sh*t on your shoe. No, Bi-polar has nothing to do with it- this kind of game is played by many women- and men- in a bid to win back their exes. No mental health problems required.

 

You don't know the full story of what happened between them- you only have your exes, probably fabricated story, that this man is violent. And while you may have been 'in love', she obviously wasn't or else she wouldn't have treated you with such contempt.

 

Whatever was going on between her and her ex, she decided at the time, that it wasn't going to work out. Yet when there is a real love or obsession, it's hard to let go and no new partner will realistically deflect the feelings from the geniuine object of desire. You were a re-bound lover- a distraction. She didn't stop loving you quickly- she didn't love you at all. And no matter how hard it is to realise that, you are best putting her down to 'experience' and moving on.

Two months of non-sexual relationship is barely a relationship, and to be honest, you barely knew this person you claim to be in love with. Despite touching conversations and the baring of one's soul that usually takes place early on in relationships; don't be fooled in to thinking you know someone enough after two months to claim undying love. Getting to know someone properly takes years- falling and staying in love with someone takes years too.

 

Please don't take my words as being harsh- I read your situation with sympathy; after all, we've all been there! It's horribly degrading and confusing to think that someone feels the same way about you as you do about them.....and then you find out that they were using you. I've been there too many times to count! But I'm older and wiser now, thanks to age and experience, and one day you will be too.

 

In the mean time, leave her alone. Put her down to bad experience and move on with your life. People like her are so insecure that using others is the way they gain confidence and security. You are better off without people like that in your life- they're emotionally draining!

And in future, beware of girls that are just out of relationships. I have a rule- at least 4 months without the ex living in their pocket! Any less and there are usually unresolved issues! Just my rule, but it's helped ensure I don't get caught up in ex drama's!

 

Good luck & chin up ;-)

 

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i agree with VIOLET.this girl only wanted to make her ex jealous and she used you to do it. as for him LET HIM HAVE HER BC SHE IS PLAYING GAMES WITH YOUR HEART AND HIS. ONE DAY HE GONNA SNAP AND THE REBOUND GUY IS GONNA BE ALL IN THE MIDDLE. ARE YOU WILLING TO GO THRU WITH ALL THAT FOR A GIRL WHO CANT BE WOMAN ENUFF TO TELL YOU SHE STILL HAS FEELINGS FOR HIM?I HOPE NOT

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