Hey, my name is Kendra and I'm 19
I feel like I can't feel anything but anger and anxiety. I don't feel love for anyone but I know I do love them. Like I know I love my Mom and Dad but there's no glow in my chest there's just nothing. I feel nothing.
I don't get aroused anymore. At all.
I know I should feel love for my boyfriend but I don't. But I know if I were to lose him I'd be lost. It's like someone blew out the flame in my chest. Everyone else gets butterflies or a warm chest when they see someone or something they like, but I don't. Theres nothing there
For a long time I've been snapping at people. Just pure anger. I notice it when it happens but I can't control it. I'll say impulsive things I'll regret later. it's like a switch I can't turn off.
I get anxiety about the dumbest things. Someone could say one thing about me and I'll think about it all day. Hell, it'll probably pop back up in 5 years and I'll think about it all over again.
I want to know what's wrong with me. I want the warm feeling again I want to feel. I don't want to be like this
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Hey there Kendra.
I understand your pain. I went through the same situation as you are describing here. I didn't know what this was.
Was it a depression?
Trust me, I am still not sure. All symptoms that I had make me believe that I am crazy. And of course, I was not crazy. After long talks with my doctor, he realized that I have some anger issues because whenever he asked me something and I didn't want to gave the answer, he realized this.
I realized that I hate myself and that I hate everyone around me. Than my doctor told me that I need to boost my happiness quotient. I didn't understand this at the beginning, but than I realized that in my case this means that I need to spend more time with my friends and people that I love.
So, I did this. The only cure is to find something that is going to boost up your happiness.
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All I know is that this emotional block came after a difficult and painful moment that I could not control. I hid all my emotions to stop feeling bad, but now I can not feel anything. And lately I just feel anxious. My emotions are mixed and I do not know how to express them correctly.
But this will end well, I promise. You're not alone, we're with you. This is only a phase.
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