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I have been married for 34 yrs and I'm 200 pounds. I have lost 4 pounds so far. I feel this is why my husband doesn't want to have sex with me. I feel sometimes I just want to let my marriage go. I feel I may want to cut on my arms again too but all  I do is cry.

Any suggestions ?

dejolane

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First of all, reread what you have written. Even though I know you know that you are a very beautiful women, I don't mind repeating it to you. I get that you are feeling insecure, seeing your refection in the mirror when you're changing or after a shower because that's also how I feel about myself. I saw that you cut yourself, which you should NEVER do again, no matter how depressed you are. It just ruins your skin honey and those scars will just remind you of why you cut in the first place. I will ask you one question. Were you 200 pounds or 'heavy' when you married? If so, then your husband married you as you were and are. A beautiful women with a great or quiet or whatever personality you may have. He married you, no a skinny anorexic tree branch. I don't believe that's why he doesn't want to have sex with you, but if it it has been going on for some time know, then you should confront his yourself instead of just assuming. If you don't feel well about your body and want to lose weight to feel even BETTER about yourself, than do it, but do it for yourself, not to pleas your husband. Remember, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and keep repeating it to yourself until you finally acknowledge it.  

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DONT DO IT! SPEAK TO YOUR HUBBY... IM SURE HE LOVES YOU BABE
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Thank you so much for saying what you did. I almost cried. When I married I weighed 135 pounds and I had all my teeth. I now have dentures. and I'm 51. I was 16 in 1978 and wasn't bad looking if I do say so myself.lol I do want to lose weight badly to feel better about myself. I do walk alot but in my mind the weight isn't coming off fast enough. I try to eat lite all the time. When I go to the mirror I'll tell myself I'm beautiful. ! And if my husband can't love me for my weight he can do without it. Thanks again

dejolane
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Hi Jejolane, please don't hurt yourself! I managed to go from 145 to 120 by subsituting Ensure or Slimfast for 1 or 2 meals a day. I agree with abbyyx, that your husband loves you. Also nobody stays the same, and real love means understanding this. My husband has a problem clearing his throat a lot, and sometimes it agrivates me to no end. I wouldn't stop loving
him because of it. I'm sure your husband has some things that get to you too, but you have to look beyond these things
and accept them. Again, please don't hurt yourself. Take care, and I will be praying for you.

Debbielg (Deb)
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The only thing my husband is doing right now is staying in contact with a prison nurse. He was in prison for 19 months and staying in contact with her is driving me nuts. He says he just wants to be friends and I want to believe it. I know he isn't having sex with her because he hasn't seen her since he left that prison last year. He is with me 24/7 and I know he is committed to our marriage.We have been married for 34 years.  But everytime he brings up her name I go crazy. He wants her to come over for dinner, and for me to get to know her. What am I to do ? My depression first started with my sister in law  in 2000 where I cut on my arm. If my husband can't be satisfied with me and the way I look why shouldn't I hurt myself ?

dejolane

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