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Basically I have always been quite a shy person and have lacked confidence from as long as I can remember as I've always been the awkward kid who dosent talk a lot and is just different to most children at school phisically and mentally recently though I have been getting dramatic hot flushes where I go red which is unbearable and I panic so much u just want to run away from the situation and cry so I was looking up in this past year realising that I have social anxiety I don't really have any proper friends and in every lesson I'm sitting there counting down each minuet until Its finished as pretty much every situation I'm in I'm so anxious and can get scared that people are constantly judging me and almost every time someone who I know is either attractive or popular or cocky talks to me I turn bright red as I know they are judging me and think I'm so quiet or ugly or whatever anyway this has been causing so many problems in my life and although I already had slight depression it's got so much worse and I have self harmed on my ankles that has prevented me from going on a school holiday that my parents payed for as I didn't want anyone to see my scars and every moment of every day I'm dreading school(that u can't even concentrate in when I'm there) and being around people I just want to end my life and have always had suisidle thoughts... I have told my dad and he says he was the same when he was younger and tells me he still has problems talking to people in shops which is very supriseing although I don't reckon he self harmed or was depressed which I definitely haven't mentioned, I'm thinking of going to a doctor about this but was wondering if any of you could relate with me or help me?? My life really is pointless atm

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I really think you should see a doctor as soon as possible.  The sooner you get help the better.  I didn't until I was 40 and now have severe refractory depression.  I was told if I had sought help earlier treatment might have worked better.  You want to enjoy life so go now.:-)

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Thankyou for your help but I don't know what to say to the doctors like what an i asking for a chat? Or medication or what x
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I have the same problem, minus the self harm part (Although some days I think to myself, maybe I should just end my life and let everyone move on with theirs) , lost many friends due to it, but i still have a few friends that I can bare to be around but some days I want nothing to do with anyone. Im stuck here at my grandparents house( which pretty much ever family member of mine thinks im "leaching" ) , I so badly want to get my own place and have a wife and kids but, I'm really really "SHY" I feel embarrassed all day even while I'm alone. I went to 9 different Public school and was physically abused from 9-12 from one of my moms boyfriends. I dont understand myself, I don't understand others. The way i feel everyday makes me feel like I'm going to be alone for ever. And my family diffently knows there is something wrong with me, but they try to act as if there isn't anything wrong with me. I went to the mental health place here, had one session and was too "scared" to return (this was over 3 years ago. I want to be better but the way people take me makes me feel like I'm gona have to live with it forever.. . I know what I have to do but I lack the confidence and the courage to do so... Also, It feels like people don't want to deal with me because they cant see anything wrong with me. I have to put on a fake smile everyday, im not sad im not mad im not glad im just Blah, I dont have the mentality to give a flying F***. but really i don't the only emotions that ever shows from me is anger or self loathing. I know I'm a good person I would give anyone the shirt off my back if they needed it, the food off my plate and the water from my glass. So wtf. and it makes me think, How is there a "god" if people can suffer from all of these different disorders. How can "jesus" love us but make us suffer? Well if there is heaven and hell, I died along time ago and have to live in hell for the rest of my days. Oh and that pointless part, your so right, I feel as though I have a very disapointing and pointless life, maybe I should have been born a thousand years ago and Be burned at the stake for witch craft... I wonder if the person that is deep down inside of me is the person I truely am and want to be, I hope someday soon i can find out. but what if that person is gone or Never existed or will ever exist, do i exist, is this real or somebody's sick sick joke.

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^ from me Ren
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mind you i have a job and can afford to move out, money is not an issue.
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Thankyou so much for even replying but to be honest I don't think I would be able to help you seeing as I need help too and don't really understand myself so couldn't really be able to understand you enough all I can really say is try self suggestion and give your self little challenges each day like giving someone a compliment or asking someone in a shop if they have a specific thing that you may want and then build up these little things until you have the courage to go back to see a doctor/mental Heath person and always remember although how bad you may feel or embarrassed that doctor is only there to help you not judge you and probably sees people like this all the time... Stay stong! You still have so much more to live for a along as you move on and try and forget about others opinions!!! Hopefully soon you will be brave enough to move out and try and start again xxx
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