Hey there, I'm Heather. When I was 14 they diagnosed me bipolar. I was off meds at 16 till well now 23. I am pretty sure I was misdiagnosed because I don't act like bipolar people. I am steady.
But this summer I started getting weird. I asked my mother what people thought about me because I acted funny. She said that people don't think I'm normal. My doctor called me retarded (seriously!). I'm not a retard though. ha! Okay so then I tell my new bf the truth about how I think.. I didn't think there was anything wrong with it.. except I feel different from everyone. Sounds wierd but its like I have psychic powers and can read other peoples minds. Its not like they say anything bad, or say anything at all. Like I don't hear "voices" but I do read their minds. I can tell what they are thinking. I am right almost all of the time but that is another discussion in itself. So I think I have a problem (according to modern science). I am on lamictal which helped but at 200mg I still felt/heard sh*t. Like my thoughts are other peoples thoughts and vice versa. So I upped the med myelf to 400mg and that helped. I want to tell someone like a doctor but I'm scared. I think they might tell me that nothing is wrong and I am normal. I don't feel normal. I feel like everyones thoughts are too much in my head. I hate it. I don't like to be around people because I am constantly thinking what they think... about me. About whatever. Like I said though. I am right almost all the time. About what they are thinking. Sorry its so long.
Oh also my bf said not to tell the doctor how I feel because pills for paranoid schizophrenia make you fat. I would rather hear my weird thoughts than be fat.
Thanks
H :-S
this is good enough to start, thanks guys/gals
But this summer I started getting weird. I asked my mother what people thought about me because I acted funny. She said that people don't think I'm normal. My doctor called me retarded (seriously!). I'm not a retard though. ha! Okay so then I tell my new bf the truth about how I think.. I didn't think there was anything wrong with it.. except I feel different from everyone. Sounds wierd but its like I have psychic powers and can read other peoples minds. Its not like they say anything bad, or say anything at all. Like I don't hear "voices" but I do read their minds. I can tell what they are thinking. I am right almost all of the time but that is another discussion in itself. So I think I have a problem (according to modern science). I am on lamictal which helped but at 200mg I still felt/heard sh*t. Like my thoughts are other peoples thoughts and vice versa. So I upped the med myelf to 400mg and that helped. I want to tell someone like a doctor but I'm scared. I think they might tell me that nothing is wrong and I am normal. I don't feel normal. I feel like everyones thoughts are too much in my head. I hate it. I don't like to be around people because I am constantly thinking what they think... about me. About whatever. Like I said though. I am right almost all the time. About what they are thinking. Sorry its so long.
Oh also my bf said not to tell the doctor how I feel because pills for paranoid schizophrenia make you fat. I would rather hear my weird thoughts than be fat.
Thanks
H :-S
this is good enough to start, thanks guys/gals
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Well, if you were diagnosed as bipolar and are on the meds - that explains why you are steady as far as the extreme mood swings are concerned. But bipolar syndrome doesn't mean that you necessarily have to switch between manic and depressive phase, you could be dominantly on the one side. And what you describe - having feeling that you can read other people's thoughts fits more into the manic side of bipolar disorder, but, really, since there is this major change in your symptoms (which could even be due to your own increase in medication) I think the best thing to do is to see a doctor so he would revise your diagnosis. And, to ease your mind, paranoid schizophrenia symptoms really are nothing like you have been experiencing - paranoia is basically constant mindset that others are out to get you, it includes all sorts of elaborate schemes and planes... and I didn't see any of that from what you have written.
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Thanks. I feel better now. I guess now I goto the doctor. Ugh! I hate doctors. Again, thank you so much. I appreciate your help.
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You're welcome! I really don't like them myself - at all, but, look at things this way - why would you suffer any more than you need to, when there is some kind of treatment available. Just ask all the questions you need to know and ask your doctor for all the explanations you need when you go and see him. Wish you the best!
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