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Hi,

Recently my boyfriend and I have been having sex more than usual. But every time we have sex it's protected. Theres been a few nights where the condom came off and I know he didn't cum inside me. I'm just freaking out because this whole past week I've been having stomach aches all over my abdomen and right below my belly button where the uterus is. It is also very hard when I push down onto my lower part of my belly and my stomach gets hard too. Ive had migranes in the past but this week I've had migranes more than usual all I want to do is sleep and the pain only gets worse at night I get cramps in my lower back like I would if I got my period and sometimes even moving while laying down in bed hurts my stomach. I feel like I have to puke sometimes but then I don't, I asked my best friend who has a kid if this is an early sign of being prego and she said she had similar symptoms as I do. Am I being paranoid or could I actally be pregnant.

Also I am a type one diabetic and since Ive been stressed lately my blood sugar isnt doing so well, ive read in articles that its very important to keep you blood sugar under good control for a healthy baby. Im really scared that if i am pregnant that something could be wrong with the baby, my last endo appt was 3 mths ago and my A1c was like 9.0 and decreaing because it was at 11.something prior before the appt.I don't have insurance be because I was taken off my families insurance because I turned 19. So I have no way to see a doctor my period doesn't come for another 2 weeks my boyfriend says I should wait to take a PT if I'm late which I will but this stomach pain is really annoying. I don't have anyone else to go to so any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

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OK, lesson 1 for you, and sorry to your boyfriend, but it's your body. Any unusual experience (pain, swelling, discomfort, nausea) no matter what the imagined or possible cause is reason to see a specialist, even if it's only a pharmacist in your local chemist's shop.

I cannot comment on your physical symptoms per se, because I'm not a doctor, but I am an (older) adult and I can tell you that I'm very happy that you enjoyed your sex together (as I presume you did), but you've been playing at grown-ups, and it may be about to get very real, so I'm sorry but ignoring those pains, especially since you mention your recognised diabetes, is simply irresponsible.

You owe yourself the care and attention that any responsible adult is due, regardless of whether the issue is pregnancy or Alzheimer's, and you're a long way from that, we might hope. He owes you that same care, and 'wait and ignore the pain for another two weeks' is sorry but bs. Lesson to young guys: don't pork the girl if you don't want to be a daddy.

Nature has been making young, fertile women pregnant for far longer than modern pharmaceuticals have been trying to stop it, so whether you really are pregnant or not, the first step of a responsible adult is to speak with a qualified medical practitioner (I am not, I am simply an older, concerned, adult, wishing you well and a healthy and happy life).

The second is to use that conversation to discover a numer of things, the questions you have raised:

a) am I pregnant
b) what are the possible complications due to x,y,z

The third is to start acting and thinking like a fully-formed, highly capable, I'm-in-charge woman, because for millions of years that's just what a woman your age would be, and nature doesn't know or care that you're just a kid... not to her. To her you're a highly tuned, powerful, capable baby-raising machine, so if she's decided to take advantage of your casual attitude, then you can fight her (nature) or go with her - but either way, it's going to take strength and courage, both of which you have, and a responsible attitude, which you also have, else you woudn't have posted a question on this site.

As for the guy (and I'm a guy) he has no rights over what you should or should not do with your body. He did his part, and like the rest of us, let's hope he enjoyed it. Now he gets to be responsible, or do a runner: but your life is yours, no matter what; and better he do a runner than you be stuck with a loser. If he's not a loser, he might just be worth having around, and good luck to you both.

Final point: no, I didn't miss the 'I'm not on insurance so can't see a doctor'. Wrong in the biggest and baddest of ways, and I don't care what country you're in (I presume US/Can from the tone/language), you have every right to see a doctor. You just don' t know how to exercise that right yet.

Lesson 2: don't ask, don't get.

Lesson 3: women (and adults) stick together.

You're about to get a big lesson in being an adult. You are surrounded by millions of people, and within those millions of people there are thousands that will help you with anything you need, and within those thousands, some have to or want to help you because they're paid to by the government, and some have to or want to because they're family, and some have to or want to because they're good people - teachers, doctors, nurses, lawyers (did I say lawyers?). You don't have to beg, but you do have to ask.

No one likes a whiner or a victim (Lady Di excepted), but just because you don't think you know who to ask, or don't think anyone is out there to help you doesn't make it so. It just makes it certain you won't bother to try. Turn around and think of one person who has been good to you. Don't expect them to pay for the visit - just start with a conversation. Ask Aunt Milly for advice, Teacher Trudy, whatever.

You didn't know enough not to get pregnant (if you are). Why should you be the world expert on not getting help when you need it?

If you assume you know as little about getting the help you need as you may have done about not needing it in the first place, then you're probably in a good place to start your life by asking some questions, and seeing what the answers are, and if you don't like the answers, go ask some more questions.

Hint: neither the universe, nor people, which are approximately the same thing, like to see suffering, pain, or women in either of those conditions. If you 'expect' to be bailed out, you may be disappointed, but if you take responsibility for your condition and start taking action, even if it's only reading this, and reading other articles on google, then maybe the universe will see fit to inform you or provide you some assistance.

So good luck, whichever way it plays, you're you, and you is a woman worth having on the planet, so go for it.

A.
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