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I first apologize for posting the same thing already on the forum...under the wrong (obviously) topic...and I'd like moderators to remove same post from "Mental Disorders » Personality Disorders » Am I going crazy or just worried? :("



Hi I'm 19 years old.

Few (3 and a half) weeks ago I smoked pot for the first time. In two weeks I smoked 3 times (on vacation - those were my first times). And stopped after that.

It was going fine for day or so, but another day I felt like people are watching me kinda weird and for moment didn't feel like myself. I thought it might be because I have depressed look on my face and circles around my eyes from not sleeping but partying all night etc.
So I tried to google "marijuana withdrawal symptoms" and many of symptoms were implicating as if I'm suffering from marijuana withdrawal.

But then I googled more; even visited sites that I checked before smoking (like Wikipedia), found that marijuana can trigger severe mental illness like schizophrenia. But when I first looked (before smoking) on Wiki I just saw things like "alcohol is more dangerous that marijuana bla bla" and said to myself "then I will try it". But that about schizophrenia really worried me later when I found out about that.

And ever since I red "that" I was being pretty paranoid and anxious. Therefore I researched even more (I like to study and am pretty curios person) and I found that weed can cause these symptoms. Especially anxiety; and anxiety can cause more symptoms that I have: Trouble sleeping, questioning everything around me and derealization, depression, vivid dreams, fear of going crazy etc.

I maybe started off topic but I think it's all sort of connected. Because some symptoms are schizophrenia like and some anxiety disorder like. Finally I found some "promising" answers that kinda helped me get back on the road of sanity.
Quote:
We all have a fear of going mad or losing control but rest assured you are not going mad. Going mad is not a conscious act; those who are suffering from severe mental illness are unaware of their journey into it. You are not going mad. Confused nervous messages to the brain along tired nerves in a tired body do not constitute madness.

Thoughts are an unconscious product of brain activity. If you are anxious, angry, sad or stressed your thoughts are affected, not only by mood, but also by your physical body chemistry. Blood oxygen levels can affect brain activity and the central nervous system, as can many other bodily chemicals like adrenaline, hormones and even vitamins. These un-pleasant thoughts, emotions and totally irrational fears are not harmful to yourself or others. Any thoughts of harming yourself or other people are perceived only. As your body becomes more relaxed and less anxious your thought processes will return to normal.


But even so, other symptoms that are also symptoms of schizophrenia like "trouble focusing on what are people talking" "trouble talking myself" sort of social withdrawal (to be honest I usually don't go out to much but with my best friends and faculty colleague and was always kinda shy person) and going rather home and research about this on internet then going out on Saturday evening, because I'm scared people might look me weird or that I will say something funny and they will mock me.

So do I suffer from some severe mental illness? I'm pretty scared mostly because I was successful and cheerful young person before I tried marijuana, and I am pretty scared that it triggered some serious disease like schizophrenia ir something. And now these mutual symptoms kinda ruined my life. My social relationships, my sleep. I'm all day worrying I'm going nuts!

Please Help! Sad Confused

Best regards.

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Firstly! You are not alone, I've been abit like you since last friday. I had a panic attack from my weed and haven't felt right since.

Past few days I've just felt not right? Cloudy minded, confused and excessive thinking( most likely anxiety), have you felt like this aswell, as if you're struggling to concentrate on the world around you? I've been searching all the symptoms and such. I've felt like I've been getting better by the days but the problem is I'm constantly thinking about it, and this might be the problem. It is probably an anxiety problem, possibly just abit of trauma from my panic attack, have you had a panic attack the last time you done weed?

You're definitely not going mad though, thinking about it just makes you more scared. But it's fine, you're sane :-)

Matty
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Well it's nice to hear someone have the same symptoms and that I'm not going crazy. :S
And you pretty much in much fewer words have completed me. And yes I did have panic attacks and paranoia when I got high. More correctly, two out of three times I got paranoia and panic attacks with much of anxiety. And have those really strange thoughts and sudden changes of both heart and mind, as well as the mood changes; from paranoia, to laughter and back to panic attack and anxiety.

But I guess it affects each person differently. So it's either that I have much more different brain chemistry than my friends who smoked the same weed with me, or it's the fact that friend said that the weed might have been laced with LSD or something since I got those strange hallucinations and delusions. I had really strange thoughts and every time I look on my watch or cellphone the time would be same and really like 10 stories or scenarios would change and only a minute would pass. And that creeped me most cause for moment I thought I was trapped in time. Really weird and unpleasent experience with mind altering drug and i guess I'll just stick to my good ol' friend beer. :-)

Thanks for reply Matty. :-)

Best regards from Bruno.

FYI: how do you deal with it? :-)
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Yeah I've been searching the internet just about everyday and saw tons of people with the same sort of symptoms and such and even most said "I just wanted to go hospital"....which was funny, because the night I had a panic attack I felt the same mid way through my panic attack high.

Yes I think it's the panic attacks that cause these symptoms, as most people who have a panic attack, become very anxious afterwards. So it's more these things are link, so the weed would cause the panic attack which would then cause the extreme anxiety. You're right though, it does affect people differently. And by the sound of it, me and you were quite anxious and paranoid people before we touched weed, right? So the weed just makes it worse for us. Therefore people like me and you should lay off weed. I've regretted doing it for the past few days, but lately starting to just learn from it and try not to regret it and just remember it's a lesson, and simply just not do weed again.

Your experience while on the drug sounds alot like me, you were having a panic attack just like I was. Except it wasn't very obvious back then because of the drug effects and such. But I was constantly pacing around and tripping out, and started to check the time too, it would seem weird, like one minute it would seem like time went no where, then suddenly half an hour went and seemed quite quick.

As for dealing with it, you just need to relax. Which may sound hard to do, but I found whenever I was relaxing more I felt abit more 'with it'. Find things to do that are fun, watch films or play games. Or go for walks/runs. I also play some guitar. I found they help sometimes. I've been scared of this cloudy, confused state where I can't seem to concentrate, scared I'll never be 'me' again, so much I burst into tears in front of my mum, which gave me slight relief from the feelings, which just adds to feeling that this is just anxiety. Because everyone calms down after crying. But you probably need someone to talk too aswell. Family, friends that geuinely listen and care. Also if it still bothers you, maybe go doctors? Worst comes to worst, just go on medications or just therapy which help with this. But you would have to go doctors and explain what has happened to you and how you feel.
But one other thing, I want to see if this works for someone else. But last night, I just ended up picking up a piece of paper and a pencil and literally starting writing down my thoughts instead of thinking them all in my head, try that and see if it works. May seem odd, but just literally write your thoughts down and see how you feel, and let me know?

I'll keep checking here as I think it's good to discuss with someone going through the same thing and feel it helps both of us :-)

Matty
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Yeah, things makes much more sense since I heard that weed actually doesn't make you laugh but increases the state of mind you are having at the moment, your subconscious thoughts and affect increasing of your character's characteristics. For example me and you are a bit paranoid without drugs, so we got these weird thought's that made us pretty much paranoid. Like you said everything is linked.

But it needs much more researching and knowledge to know how weed affects each person, since every person's brain is pretty much different and every brain by itself is hard to understand. But we had some, not that pleasant experience that might have just triggered our self awareness that mind altering drugs are not for us. Cause we have way better life in reality and not in seven haven. :-D

For me; that was the first (three) times and the last one.

I found some pretty good "method" for how to beat your anxiety and fears. It's called "Linden Method" try google it or watch video on youtube. He have his channel on youtube as well (CharlesLInden is the channel name). Pretty much helped me to understand all those terms like anxiety,fears and all other stuff which obviously are just mind game and therefore if you have strong mind and will you can beat them to pulp.

I gave up from going to doctor after that video I saw. Cause...mah you'll see what I'm talking when you look at the video. :-D

And yes. It helps much to play some games, do stuff that you like, talk to someone about that; just to know that you are sane and in reality. And socialize as much is possible, hang with friends do your regular job and obligations and you will be your "old" better self in no time. ;-)

About the writing of my thoughts. I'm sorta scared that I might scare myself even more when i read that stuff after i write it down. :-D
I think (for me) it's too early for those stuff, if I maybe someday end up on psychiatry treatment I might write down my thoughts then. But for now I will just try to stick to "Linden Method" avoid any kind of drugs; both medical,recreational and heavy mind altering, because I think 90% diseases and illnesses, both mental and physical is in our head. And if you have strong will you can overcome them. But drugs, combined with weak will, will just make those illnesses worse and we will end up empty shell of former person. (that's how I see it, maybe I'm still a bit too much anxious, but reality is way better that a "dream")

For the new victories over our anxiety and fears. :-)

Bruno
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hey there first of all welcome to the club ure not alone in this world who is suffering from sort of anxiety and depression issues. just keep that in mind..



you said that "trouble focusing on what are people talking" "trouble talking myself" are symptoms of schizophrenia . I don t belive they are , trouble focus or concentrating is one of the symptoms of anxiety and not schizo ure are not schizo . If you have schizophrenia like you just sad you dont know about the journey you are going into . So rest your mind about that and the other thing about the people that u think they are looking at you , they are symptoms of anxiety . When you have anxiety or ure in a panic state your body and mind reacts very strange, like fiddgety , anxious thinking that other people are looking at you because of your condiotion. Its all a joke from the mind . Everyday you have to fight and fight and say this is just nothing but anxiety, it will pass, somehow other days you do feel better , those who suffer from schizophrenia dont feel good at all and are under survelliance from their doctor . Their thinking is very funny , their speakin is not normal too. they hallucinate . Its different my friend, your condition is different u have some sort of anxiety and you must be yourself to control it .Dont let her control you , everyday just keep on fighting and fighting..



If you have questions to ask me feel free...


Regards,

Gil
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Hi Gil,

Thank you for your kind reply! :-)

I was doing much better lately. I visited my doctor and she prescribed me anxiolytics (Xanax XR 1mg) and I was taking it in morning before my daily scholar duties and in evening cause it really calms me so I have peaceful sleep. And it helped a lot!
But I was way sleepy from it on college so my concentration wasn't that bettet.

She also gave me paper to order to psychiatrist and psychologist and to go test my mental health on psycho-test.
My psycho-test is tomorrow and unfortunately I didn't go to psychiatrist/psychologist yet. I hope I will get time and go soon to examination.

However..meanwhile I stopped taking Xanax and since then it's not that worse but it isn't as good as when I was on them. But I'm trying to do it w/o, cause I don't want to get addict on benzo's and it is as well taking my "youth", cause I can't go out and get a beer or two with my friends! :-D

I still have curious questions, so when I form them I will message you in inbox. ;-)

Best regards,

Bruno.
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