You have decided that your girl is 'the one' for you and you have definite ideas of how a relationship 'should' be. However, your girl's past does not coincide with your thoughts on how a relationship should be, so there is conflict in your thinking and it is this which is causing you the pain. If I were to ask you what is the most important element in a relationship for you, what would you reply? Ask yourself the question and see what comes up, just from you, from your heart... not what you feel you 'ought' to say. Be honest with yourself, and when you absolutely know your heart's answer, it will be the first step towards peace and freedom.
Take care, all the very, very best.
If you need help the good thing is you can get it.
Walk to your bathroom, look in the mirror, wave. This is the man who is going to either make or break your love life.
Jealousy is a modern day plague.
It gets worse everyday, with male and females roles in society changing, everyone is trying to figure out where they fit in it. RElationships are not what they once were. Everyday we are exposed to pictures of ideal men and women, we watch shows about how men and women shouyld act, we are bombarded by conflicting stimuli.
The great news is you can overcome the green eyed monster.
The bad news is, you have some growing to do and its going to be rough for a while.
jealousy is the worst of emotions, because it encorporates fear anger and grief. Your Jealousy responce indicates that you are very insecure in yourself, your identity or your relationship. You want so much to have the perfect relationship, but you will never truly achieve it.
Truth : no relationship is perfect
Truth : if you do not address the fear within yourself it will ruin every future relationship you have.
Happy truth : You control your future.
With a practice of self talk everyday, you can bannish your insecurities, and by practicing trust and logically reassuring yuourself daily that you have no reason to be afraid of being alone you will slowly but surely stop feeling jealous of things that have happened in the past, or where your girlfriend is in the future, who she spends time with etc.
It took me years to over come being cheated on several times as a 18yo, but now I look back I can see how I saw life as a glossy picture, and that when I had reached cirtain milestones life would be awesome.
Thats not how life works. And occassionally jealosy can still effect me, but I do not let it rule me, because just like you can, I have become the master of my own destiny.
All the best with your journey, it may not be perfect, but you can always be happy if you choose to be.