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I'm in a very rewarding relationship with a guy I love and who is amazing.

All throughout my life with guys I seemed to attract the jerks, and everything ended and heart break.

This is the 1st guy who has actually treated me perfectly. We've been going out for 4 months and I love him dearly. He's got a great head on his shoulders and morals. He is extrelmly loyal and pride ful. I have met his entire family nearly, his mother's and fathers side and the all love me. Aswell as my family. We do alot of family things together. ALOT. And we do alot of romantic things. Go out to eat, movies, picnic, etc. And he always remembers special dates and puts my happiness first. I've never been so in love with a guy or felt so lucky and special.

My problem is I'm very insecure and have bad abandonment issues. With from my dad, and past boyfriends. I've always ended up burnt. I think eventually everything good will come to an end and I really dont want that to happen with my boyfriend and I. I'm on the Depo-Vera shot for pregnancy, and thats caused alot of side affects and moodiness. I have the lowest dose of xanax which I take half a pill if I have bad anxiety. I only use it as a last resort though. Like once or twice a week if needed. But I've been on this since last november and I've been in relationships with other guys. MUCH crappier guys. And I never really stressed much or worried about cheating or anything even though I should have. But this guy, I know his intentions and I know he could never do anything to knowingly hurt me, yet I'm so down on men. I've never been this emotional or moody in a relationship before. Here I am with the perfect guy, and I can't stop stressing about cheating, and what hes doing, and if we're going to last etc. And he's going to college 5.5 hrs away, in the same state but still far. But despite that he's dedicated. He's going to see me every weekend and stay with me since we stay the night at eachother's houses all the time. And I'll only go 4 days without him. But he plans to fly on weekend and drive the other.

But I just don't know why I'm so stressed out. He's even transfering to where I'm going next fall. I love him so much, but I can't stop stressing. What's wrong with me? There is no need to. He's so loyal and moralistic. Could it be that I've never really been THIS inlove with another guy before, and didnt really care enough to get that upset in the past? I've always been emotional and very sensitive even before the shot, but this is just crazy. So happy the whole day then getting sad and weepy over a tiny little thing. I think I'm just so afraid of loosing him, that it eats me up inside because I know I couldn't bear it without him. I've never had a guy like this in my life and its amazing. I just dont know why I've been having so much stress and getting upset so easily. What could be the problem?


Sounds to me like you have never really experienced such warmth and caring for someone and who actually returns it to you. It's hard not to compare relationships, but you really have got to try.
You didn't sweat these other guys because i think deep down you didn't care one way or another. Now that you have found possibly the love of your life, you are not sure where to put these uneasy feelings.
He sounds totally devoted to you. You answered your own question in your post,"there is no need for you to stress"
You sound "love sick" and thats okay as long as you don't emit your uneasy feelings toward him. Some guys don't like when a girl is all ga ga and uneasy about their relationships with them.
I say just try to take it one day at a time and relax. Savor the time that you have together and keep loving thoughts when he is away.
Concentrate on the now part of this and stop trying to see the future, you will only make your self sick with worry.
It probably wouldn't hurt if you talked to a relationship expert or a counselor. I wouldn't want this to carry on thru your life, it can be unhealthy.


Yes, thank you. Me neither. I have related these feelings to him. He always thought I was just having mood moments from the Depo-Vera shot I'm on. which could be a part of it deffinatly, I'm easily effected by drugs and stuff like that would get to me. I just dont like being like this. So emotional easily, being jelouse with him and distrusting then anyother guy I had been with in the past. He's the LAST guy I should be that way with. I mean, my ex was my 1st love and he was 5 yrs older then I, was friends with strippers and did drugs, and I wasn't even worried! I "trusted" him. When I really should of been terrified, because he could of thought he was being loyal but with the drugs, he wouldnt of even known if he was or not.

But I told my boyfriend about how I feel, and he says he's going to help me through it and it will most likely go away in time. He's very patient. And I apologize for being *** moody at times but he just says, "It's okay it's just a mood moment. It will go away in 20 min or so. I know how you really feel" It's just I dont like feeling this way, even thinking that breaking up with him would make me feel better. When I KNOW I'm with the one, and that would cause me much more abject and pain and I could never find a guy quite like him. I can't imagine it without him.

I told him about love sickness. That I looked it up, and alot of the sympotoms sound like me. And he asked what we could do to overcome it. Any thing besides the counsler idea?

**edited by moderator**


Oh and another thing, my body confidence fluctuates. I've always had insecurity and body image problems but they've just aplified recently. when I was single, I would get so many comments at how amazing I looked and so many guys would hit on me, I thought I was a godess and had a huge ego. Now I'm just with my love, and he loves me for everything I am and tells me I'm alot more pretty then anyother girl, infact he hates most girls because he thinks they're unoriginal and s**ts. But I keep thinking I can do better for him and want to loose weight.

I'm 5"3 and I weigh 112 lbs. And most of that is muscle. I work out usualy 3-4 times a week. ATLEAST once or twice. But I'm weary at what I eat. It reccommends me eat over 2,000 calories daily, but my range usualy is around 900-1,200. 1,500 on a good day. And I have a high metabolism too, my mom didn't have to worry about gaining weight til she was 40 and I have a six pack. I just can't get confident though. I'm very confident about my stomach and abs, but thats about it. I always get compliments on my eyes, but everything else expecially my legs and arms I struggle with.


I think it's because you love this guy so much, you're scared to death of losing him. I've had the same feelings before, of paranoia and anxiety, and it messes with your head. %-)
I think you need to have a good talk with your boyfriend, he seems to adore you, so he'll understand how you're feeling and reassure you everything is going to be okay. If you continue feeling like you do, you might end up pushing him away, which you don't want.
Every realtionship comes with it's problems, he might even be feeling something you don't know about, so be open and tell him how you feel. Doing this will help connect you on a higher level and build your respect and trust for one another.
You're not going insane, you're just in love, and even though it can mess with your head, destiny is destiny and if you're meant to be, (which it sounds like you are) then you can get through this.
Good luck. :-)