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So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year and he comes over and we kiss and talk and stuff. He said he wants to have sex with me and I do too but I don't know if I'm ready. We will use condoms... Please help?

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Hi Kaelynn,

Since you're asking, I will say no.  You really need to be sure you are ready before you do.

It WILL change your relationship.  It will also make is harder for you to say "no" in the future.

Ask yourself, "why the rush?"  If he's pushing then something is wrong.  You should NOT feel as though you have to do it to keep him or "prove your love" or anything like that.

Hope it helps.

 

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Hey,
You need to ask yourself if you really want to do it, or if you just want to make him happy. You can know if you really want to do it when you guys are playing sexually (kissing and touching your genitals). You can try (if you haven't yet) oral sex first, once your boyfriend learns to do it right it will make you want to have intercourse (penetration). When you decide to do it, let him know and get prepared (condoms). I highly recommend once you start doing it finish it because if you try on several occasion but always make him stop because you are afraid or nervous ( which is normal since you are going to experience something new) he may get tired and impatient and the next time he may just skip all the necessary steps to get you wet, and just force it in, making sex really painful (this was what actually happened to me).

It is also important that you realize that sex is not a tool that will make your boyfriend love you, or is going to make him stay forever with you. Love and sex are not necessarily related. This is important because you don't want to feel betrayed or abandon if your relationship ends. That is why you need to do it because you wanted to and no because he wanted you to. Also not being a virgin doesn't makes you worthless, don't give it more importance than what it really have. And if you decide not to do it is also fine, not every body is ready at the same age. Just do it when you are ready to enjoy it.
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