Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

Hi guys! My boyfriend really wants me to have sex with him (I'm a virgin) he's 16 and I'm 12. We've known each other since we were little and I love him with all my heart! The furthest we've gone is making out on his bed but every time he goes further I back down.. I know he's mad and I'm worried that if I don't have sex with him he will leave me! What should I do?

Loading...

Hi Hannah,

Let him leave you - seriously.

There is no need to rush into a sexual relationship - not at 12.  Sex is not just something you do it is a commitment.  It will change your relationship and your outlook on life in general.  Quite frankly, and I know you'll think I'm just old, at 12 you don't need to be worrying about these things - including pregnancy. 

FYI - In some places he could even be charged with a crime for having sex with you.


Reply

Loading...

Hey Hannah,

 

I absolutely agree with Medic-Dan. I have a son your age and would be absolutely horrified if he was considering having sex. Anyone who was asking, pressurizing or even suggesting it, would feel the force of the law, as well as recieve a nice heavy blast from my nail embedded baseball bat.

 

You have many, many years ahead of you to be fretting about late periods, sexually transmitted diseases and all the emotional c**p that comes with sex. Your boyfriend obviously doesn't care about you or about what is right & wrong or else he wouldn't want this- if he loved and respected you, he'd wait & there would be no question about waiting.

 

Seriously- Be a 12year old and quit trying to grow-up so fast. Spend time with your friends & family, have a blast with make-up and clothes- whatever you do- leave sex & boys till you're actually a woman & better emotionally & physically equipped to deal with the consequences.

Best of luck

 

V

 

P.S- you have extremely good spelling & punctuation for a 12 year old. My son's an amateur writer and even his punctuation isn't as good as yours. Makes me wonder....

 

Reply

Loading...

Well , I Have Thought That Same Thing My I Am 14 But I Have Dated A 16 Year Old Before . Now My Boyfriend Is 14 Just Like Me . I Know How You Feel Because You Love Him So Much And You Want Him To Stay With You . You Should Ask Your Self These Following Questions : What If You Have Sex With Him And He Continue's To Only Want You For Sex ? Do You Really Want To Give It Up At Age 12 ?

My Opinion : I Think You Should Wait Until You Get A Little Bit Older And Know More About Love And Relationships , And Sex . You Are Only 12 , You Have A Long Time To Think About Having Sex , There's No Need To Rush It . And If You Think Having Sex With Him Will Make You More Attractive . Well , In Some Way It Won't Because He's Gonna Think Oh She Is Easy And Insecure I Can Get Whatever I Want Out Of Her . It;s Better To Make Your Self Harder To Get < That's What A Real "Boyfriend" Wants . He Wants You To Be Hard To Get , So He Know's You Won;t Go Around Sleeping With EVERYONE ! , But That's My Opinion Just Think About What I Said , And If He Really Loves You He Will Respect Your Decisions Okay

Reply

Loading...

User avatar
Superstar
235 posts

So, you dont want to have sex though you are tempted ONLY because of your fear he will leave you? Is that your reason for not having sex? 

Do you know it means you are using sex as some form of currency to achieve commitment? 

I think that is the wrong way to be going about this. Most relationships are temporary and at your age especially, such relationships have a very good chance of not lasting. 

The thing is that you like him a lot and seem to be keen to have deeper intimacy. You already make out with him, have heavy petting and almost go the entire way. So you seem to like what you are doing. 

What I would suggest is to be prepared if you do go all the way and I am sure it will happen. The temptation is too strong and to resist it, is daft. Prepare yourself and make sure you and him agree on using protection to prevent pregnancy. Read up about sex, learn to masturbate and to understand your body and what pleasures you can generate through masturbation. Have you started your periods?? If you have then you must use protection. 

Regarding commitment, that's a very hard one. You may decide in a couple of years that he is not the one for you. What happens then? I was kinda your age when I lost my virginity to a much much older guy. It was a fantastic experience and I never regretted it. I knew it wouldn't last because he was so much older and  we discussed about the law and the sh*t that goes on in society and after many months we broke up because he had to go abroad. 

My advice is to go with your heart. Do things that give you pleasure and happiness NOT because what society and the law think is okay for you. 

Reply

Loading...

The real question is why do you have to do this?

Reply

Loading...

User avatar
Superstar
235 posts
Is there any reason she shouldnt?? The thought is there and they have already started being very intimate. It is just a matter of time when the real thing will happen. I have no doubt it will happen sooner rather than later because the temptation is huge and very hard to resist once you have experienced the kind of pleasure it generates.
Advising the girl not to do it is NOT going to work. I think it is more responsible for her to learn to be prepared and to take precautions so that even if she were to go ahead she comes to no harm.
I believe we are so hell bent on trying to get girls to abstain knowing fully well thats a huge challenge. By doing that we neglect giving advice on how to protect oneself. That is when girls get pregnant and have more problems.
Remember sex is a natural, normal biological instinct. I dont understand why society is hell bent on stopping girls from having sex. Instead teach them how to prepare and protect themselves so they dont end up ending up pregnant or contracting STDs. We need to be more responsible than just teaching and forcing girls to abstain. That is so narrow minded and is one of the resons why girls end up pregnant - because they dont have the right advice and guidance!!
Reply

Loading...