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Me and my boyfriend are both 14 and he said he wanted to have sex with me,but I'm not sure I'm ready,we have been dating for about a year now and I do really love him. Should we have sex? I know we are young but he says that I'm the girl he wants to be with,And I trust him.. But I'm still not sure,What if I got pregnant?

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Hi Kelsie,

Good question.  Yes, what if you got pregnant?  Can you or your boyfriend support a child?  It wouldn't be your parents responsibility.  Forget about hanging with your friends, unless you take the baby along.  Your boyfriend will likely be long gone.  No birth control is 100% effective - NONE.  Condoms break or leak and if you are on the pill you need to take it EXACTLY as directed.  Emergency contraceptive, like Plan B, are even less effective than a condom.

Yes, you can get pregnant the first time.

What's the rush?  Sex does not equal love.  He SHOULD respect your desire to wait.  It would indicate that he loves you MORE if he would wait for when you were ready and not pressure you.

If you do have sex, you can bet he'll tell his friends.  He'll also want sex more often.  Why not, you did it before?  If you ever break up with him, and at 14 it will probably happen sooner or later, your next boyfriend will also want sex.  You may find you have quite the reputation at school.

Good luck.

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Hi kelsie, if you think you are not ready you probably aren't. Your intuition is telling you to wait. 14 is young to start having sex. But if you do make sure you usr protection. I hope that helps.
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I want to talk with you about my problem please reply
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186 posts
EVERY girl is anxious, scared, apprehensive, unsure and insecure about their FIRST time irrespective of their age. You could have the same feelings and doubt when you are 30. Like with anything new there is always that fear of the unknown.
Having that anxiety and doubt DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE NOT READY. I hate when people suggest that if you are questioning yourself it somehow means you are not ready and hence should not be having sex. That is total and utter rubbish and absolute nonsense.
Those doubts will always be there. With every new partner such questions will arise in your mind. Those runimations are PERFECTLY NORMAL, UNDERSTANDABLE AND EXPECTED.
What you need to do is PREPARE yourself - learn your body, learn what makes you enjoy sexual sensations, read up about sex, think about protection and talk about it with your boyfriend, talk and read about STDs ( if this is the first time for your boyfriend then it is unlikely for him to have any STDs and you can confidently feel safe from STDs if you do have sex with him)
The reason for PREPARING yourself is to make sure you dont have any issues if you do have sex and you fall for the temptation despite trying desperately to abstain.
So please dont worry if you are ready or not. Never talk about readiness. Willingness is another issue and more relevant than readiness. BUT BUT BUT please be prepared. That is the most important thing. Please dont focus on readiness. Our friends, parents, society etc etc and every one and his/her dog will want to brainwash you into believing you are not ready. That is the worst advice anyone can give you and it borders on irresponsibility. What is more responsible is for them to teach you how to be prepared so you can make sure you dont end up with problems like pregnancy if you do decide or succumb to the temptation of having sex.
Serx is NEVER bad. It is fun and a great experience. Good luck.
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186 posts

No one can answer that question BUT you and you alone.

Ask the community and everyone is going to advise you NOT to have sex. So please do not ask the community such advice. They will put you off by telling you that you are too young and immature to have sex. To have sex you don't need maturity if you can act responsibly and be PREPARED  and take PRECAUTIONS. If you end up falling pregnant because you didn't think of protection or you end up with STDs then you have proved to society that you are an id**t. Seriously, you need to consider these things before embarking on such a life changing event. It is fun and very enjoyable but the consequences can be a disaster. Considering he is just 14 too I believe STDs are very very unlikely. So pregnancy is the ONLY risk you have to take precautions against. Do it and enjoy the joys and pleasure of the miracle of sex. 

Hence, the questions that seem relevant are

a) can you handle the emotional experience that comes with having sex  

b) are you PREPARED ie have you read up about sex? have you explored your own body and experienced pleasure and orgasms through masturbation? Do you know the consequences of sex ie pregnancy and  potentially STDs?  

c) are you looking for a commitment by the guy after you have sex?  

d) have you spoken to him about protection and are you on the pill?  

e) do you have a nice private place to share this intimacy

f) get some lube to improve comfort and the pleasure.

Keep these in mind, be prepared and do what you think you want to do. Be safe!!   

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