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I HAVE A PROBLEM! ME AND MY MAN BEEN TOGETHER FOR ALMOST THREE YEARS I HAVE ONE CHILD THAT NOT BY HIM AN I AM PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD NOW. WHEN WE FIRST MET WE HAD A GOOD BOND WE HAD SEX EVERYDAY . WE TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING , WE WENT OUT EVERYDAY IT WAS FUN .THEN A YEAR LATER WE MOVE IN  TOGETHER EVERYTHING WAS OK THEN COUPLE MONTH LATER . SEX WOULD BE TWO DAYS OUT THE WEEK TO ONE DAY OUT OF THE WEEK TO EVERY TWO WEEKS AND THAT WHEN HE GET READY. I HAVE TO SAY THIS ABOUT HIM HE IS A REALLY GOOD MAN HE TAKE CARE OF MY CHILD AN ME AN HE WORK REALLY HARD.HE WORK OVER NIGHT AS A ASSISTANT MANAGER AN HE BEEN DOING IT FOR YEARS. HE ALWAY TIRE AN WHEN HE NOT TIRE HE RATHER SPEND HIS DAY WITH ME SHOPPING AN GOING TO SEE HIS MOTHER RATHER THEN STAYING HOME WITH ME AND US JUST DOING SOMETHING ROMANTIC OR JUST HAVING SEX. I TRY TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT. ALL HE SAY IS HE DOES TEN HOUR A DAY AN MORE AN HE TIRE , AN WHEN HE GET  READY HE WILL DO IT AS IF IT NOTHING .HE ALWAY WANT TO CUDDLE, BUT NEVER WANT TO HAVE SEX I I DONT GET IT LIKE HE IS A OLD MAN. HE ASLO RATHER SLEEP THEN HAVE SEX IT CRAZY . I TRY TO SEE IF HE WAS CHEATING BY CHECKING THOUGHT HIS FACEBOOK I FOUND REALLY NOTHIN JUST HIM TALKING TO OLD FRIRNDS, BUT THERE WAS ONE TIME I CAUGHT HIM HAVING CONVERSATION WITH A GIRL IN HIS PHONE THOUGH TEXT AN SHE WOULD SEND NAKED PICTURE OF HER SELF . WE GOT IN TO THIS BIG ALTERCATION. HE TOLD ME THAT I WAS NOT PAYING  HIM ANY  ATTENTION ,BUT THATS ALL I DID. SO HE TOLD THE GIRL TO LEAVE HIM A ALONE AN THAT WAS OVER WITH. BUT WE STILL  HAVE THIS GAP BETWEEN US AN I HAVE NEEDS I BE turned on EVERY NITE. I HAVE MY TOYS  BUT I  AM  TIRE OF USEING DOES I WANT THE REAL THING. I WATCH THESE INTICING LOVE MOVIE WHICH MAKE ME MAD. I LOVE HIM BUT I FEEL LIKE CHEATING NOT NOW BECAUSE AM PREGANT BUT I DONT HAVE A BONE IN MY BODY TO DO SO I RATHER TELL HIM IT OVER THEN  CHEAT WHAT SHOULD I DO. HE HAS NO SEXUALLY DIRE AT ALL .

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Maybe he is tired, he work's the nite shift, i remember that almost killed me. Or maybe he is stepping out on you, who know's. As far as you cheating...how foolish you would be, and your pregnant on top of it. Did the two of you discuss getting pregnant or was it an accident? That may be bothering him. Many men go thru this, you HAVE to communicate. There is obviously something under lying going on with him. Cheating should be the last thing on your mind right now as that would certainly make thing's much worse.

Pin him down and TALK. You have to let him know how you feel.

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As bbfeet says, TALK is what you need, both of you. You need to find some counseling and go by yourself if you can't interest him in going with you.



I don't ever remember being "too tired for sex" but I can remember not being interested due to something that wasn't right between us. I'll let BB get away with being too tired because she's a woman and my wife is like that too. All these catchy sayings like never go to bed mad are just BS. Whatever works for you is what you need to do and a counselor can help you discover it.



Cheating NEVER helps, DON'T DO IT!!!! For one thing it will make you feel guilty for the rest of your life.



Everyone gets hit on by someone, sometime, and what you do about it is the only important thing. I was at a New Year's Eve party with my wife one time when midnight came and a friend's date threw a lip lock on me. After she unwrapped her tongue from my tonsils she asked me if I ever cheat on my wife. I didn't feel that required an answer, it was just New Year's Eve, that's all. After that she became part of our group of friends and we shared many New Year's Eve parties and several skinny dips in friends pools. She and I became good friends and I have spent more time around her naked body than anyone other than my wife. She is one of the hottest looking girls I have seen but there was never any sexual attraction between us and my wife never worried about it. So it's certainly possible to have all the opportunities to cheat and not have it happen.



That also shows that two people can play together with all the elements present that should produce sexual desire and yet there is none. So you really need to figure out why it's not there in your situation and a therapist/counselor can do that for you.
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njoynlife wrote:

bbfeet9 wrote:

Maybe he is tired, he work's the nite shift, i remember that almost killed me. Or maybe he is stepping out on you, who know's. As far as you cheating...how foolish you would be, and your pregnant on top of it. Did the two of you discuss getting pregnant or was it an accident? That may be bothering him. Many men go thru this, you HAVE to communicate. There is obviously something under lying going on with him. Cheating should be the last thing on your mind right now as that would certainly make thing's much worse.

Pin him down and TALK. You have to let him know how you feel.


As bbfeet says, TALK is what you need, both of you. You need to find some counseling and go by yourself if you can't interest him in going with you.

I don't ever remember being "too tired for sex" but I can remember not being interested due to something that wasn't right between us. I'll let BB get away with being too tired because she's a woman and my wife is like that too. All these catchy sayings like never go to bed mad are just BS. Whatever works for you is what you need to do and a counselor can help you discover it.

Cheating NEVER helps, DON'T DO IT!!!! For one thing it will make you feel guilty for the rest of your life.

Everyone gets hit on by someone, sometime, and what you do about it is the only important thing. I was at a New Year's Eve party with my wife one time when midnight came and a friend's date threw a lip lock on me. After she unwrapped her tongue from my tonsils she asked me if I ever cheat on my wife. I didn't feel that required an answer, it was just New Year's Eve, that's all. After that she became part of our group of friends and we shared many New Year's Eve parties and several skinny dips in friends pools. She and I became good friends and I have spent more time around her naked body than anyone other than my wife. She is one of the hottest looking girls I have seen but there was never any sexual attraction between us and my wife never worried about it. So it's certainly possible to have all the opportunities to cheat and not have it happen.

That also shows that two people can play together with all the elements present that should produce sexual desire and yet there is none. So you really need to figure out why it's not there in your situation and a therapist/counselor can do that for you.


I have kind of the same problem and it sucks and emotionally can hurt at times. But cheating won't get him to sleep with you. I'm getting use to it now but its frustrating whenever i try he don't want to, but when he wants to I want to say no just to get him back lol but i can't say no cause I never know when the next chance will come. But back to you, (no judgement at all) if its more important to have sex that makes you want to cheat then don't continue the relationship. Sex in relationships is a huge thing and not connecting that way can definitely make you feel less connected, but cheating no matter what the situation will not make anything better. If you could cheat on someone then that's not the person you should consider a boyfriend/husband. Just think of what you want and whatever you choose will be the right decision for you.
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cheating is never the answer. Sure it seems like a good idea at the time but what if u get an STD or get pregnant by other man? Then the finger is pointing at u. if your sexual tension is building up i say get a vibrator. thats the safest way but im not sure how that works when ur pregnant. and dont let him use that excuse "you werent paying attention to me" bull!
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