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Hi. So... rejection is very difficult, and I don't handle it well. I'm having a really tough time and need some advice.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year; except it wasn't a full year because he broke up with me for a couple of months.

We me when I moved into his apartment. I was friends with his roommate and was moving to the city for an internship. So originally we were roommates, then we started having sex together. We had a lot of sex. But we fought a lot too.

I had just come out of a bad relationship where I was abused both mentally and physically. My family was also physically violent and my parents and sister shout and fight all the time. My ex and I fought all the time, drank a lot, and did drugs together. I was a disgusting person back then.

But my current boyfriend really helped me to ditch the old me.. slowly, and now I'm drug free and fight a lot less. I had to move back home to finish school when my internship was over, which was tough because it meant that my boyfriend and I would be apart for 5 months. The first week I was home I fell into an old habit and did drugs. I stopped myself the night I did it and walked away, knowing I didn't want to be that person again.

A month later I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. I was scared, and had to tell my boyfriend via Skype. He flew to NYC and paid for me to have an abortion. It was a tough weekend, and we fought because he wanted to go sightseeing in the city after I had just had a surgical abortion. Well... I told him that I did drugs when I first got home and he flipped out. He thinks it's the reason the baby didn't have a heartbeat. He made me promise I would never do the drug again. But I got the abortion because he's younger than me and I didn't want to ruin his life... a month later he broke up with me. I was so heartbroken, so upset, and so angry that he would leave me while I was going through hell; 22 credits, terrible roommates who kicked me out because I was crying too much over the abortion. I did the drug.

Then he wanted me back and we became boyfriend and girlfriend once again. I was happy, and relieved to have moved out of the house I had been living in. My terrible ex-roommates called him and told him I had done the drug. I still to this day do not have any idea what I did to those roommates to make them hate me so bad. He broke up with me. And we acted like we were together, talking everyday and saying I love you to each other for the next two months. But he wouldn't take me back. I was confused, frustrated, heartbroken.

He dragged me along and I cried everyday for two months, crying myself to sleep. A friend of mine, who I had used to date in high school, came to my aid and was there for me. I had needed to get surgery on my nose after I broke it and this friend of mine was there for me when my current boyfriend was not. And my friend kissed me. The day that my current boyfriend forgot my birthday I told him that another man was in my life and to forget about me, that he had kissed me and I didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

That's when he wanted me back. He begged me to move back to the city and live with him. He said he was sorry, that he loves me, etc.
I did move back, because I am hopelessly in love with him. And we sex. A lot of sex. 3 times a day maybe.
Then we started fighting. He even choked me one day. It was mostly about things that happened in the past. We sat down and talked and agreed that arguing isn't going to solve anything, and promised to not shout but to talk things out.

Our relationship got better. We argue less. We are best friends. But that's how I feel this relationship is going; friends. I feel like we're just friends. And now he never wants to have sex. He straight up rejects me. It hurts. It's been over a month since we had sex. And I feel terrible, like he doesn't even like me. Tonight he rejected me, saying that talking about sex doesn't turn him on or make him want me but that he wants me less. He says because I had an abortion, and because I say I want kids with him in the future that he doesn't trust me.
What should I do?
Is it time to give up and move home?
He's moving back to England in a couple of months anyway....
I want to have sex. I feel rejected and unloved. I just want to scream and cry.
Help, please. Please, please... I need advice. Mainly because I'm spending hundreds of dollars and countless amounts of energy on this relationship....
I don't know what to do.....

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Honey I can go ahead and tell you that things will never be the same btwn you two again. He thinks you doing drugs is the reason his child is dead. He will never forgive you enough to make the mistake of getting you pregnant again. The reason I know this is bc there has been alot of posts on here like this and the guy has said. I do it bc I know she is lonely but I will never have sex with her again, and loose another child of mine. But on your part you need to understand that this hard for him. So my best advice is pack up and head back home bc he will never love you or look at you the same. And if you guys went from 3 times a day to none at all in a month. Then it is most definately over and you guys are just friends. I hope this isn't harsh to you. But you wanted advice and this is what we do. I hope this helps you some!!!!!! :-D
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This relationship has no future. You are trying to fix your life and need an incredible amount of support. He has given you some but not enough. You fall into patterns of friends, partners, abusers then users (on your bf part) he has not acknowledged that you were in a difficult place after ur abortion and did not talk your feelings into account by arguing about sight seeing. When you broke up ubdid drugs again but like you said u walked away which very good and noble but wether u told ur bf u walked away, he did not let that pass and instead berated you about doing the drugs. U r obviously a strong girl and need someone just as strong. U mention an old friend who helped you and u re connected briefly. Y did you walks way from that? Ur bf has too much power over u via ur love for him and he knows that. I suggest ending this completely, get on with ur life, no drugs, no crying, try and apologise for ut behaviour to ur old friend who u left and try and get friends with him. Do NOT get in a relationship any time soon, not even sex cuz that ruins friendship. Just be with downing platonically and get help then when u are stable find a new partner. Get a job, income and look after urself like nd adult. Hope undo ok x
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To be honest, this relationship shouldn't be saved. As the person above me stated you shouldn't waste your time. Some people are toxic to each other and don't need to be together. It could offset a never endings cycle where one of you is bound to end up physically or a emotionally scarred.
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