I'm 25 years old, and I have been masturbating myself since I'm 13. I have had 2 sexual relationships with women. In one of the I penetrate her, and in the other one I just kiss her and touch her body.
I have watched porno gay since I'm 16 years old and very seldom I watch straight porno. Although I never have had a gay experience, I sometimes have dreams and also i sometimes feel attracted for other men. I feel terrible because I can't be a normal person. I had great projects with my life but now I feel that all is over. Sometimes I think to kill myself. I'm very shy and I don't interact with a lot of people. I know that's a big problem but I don't know how to stop it.
Last summer I meet a guy. He was very nice with me. I felt very attracted and he used to follow me a lot. We were in a summer program together. We used to do a lot of thing together like to listen music or to talk about projects for the future. I felt identified with him. He used to look at me and to send me a kiss. That started my confusion. One time he went to my bedroom to listen music and he was very seductive. I have to try really hard to not get involved in his play. I got hard and I had to sit all the time he was there. He was touch himself and I tried to take distance.
After two weeks, of trying really hard to do not get involved, I tried to kiss him when we were alone but he reacted really aggressive telling me that I was a gay. I felt really but and I left him.
I thought that after that night he will not speak to me, but next morning, I see him in breakfast and he behaved normal. He continue following me, and I used to felt very uncomfortable, because he knew my secret something that I never had revealed before to anyone.
I have tried to forget him but we are still friends on facebook and I felt really bad for feeling the way I feel.
I think that the porno gay affected my perception of a good friendship and I feel terrible for that.
I felt very depressive when I try to stop watching porno and I do not know what to do. Please help.
I have watched porno gay since I'm 16 years old and very seldom I watch straight porno. Although I never have had a gay experience, I sometimes have dreams and also i sometimes feel attracted for other men. I feel terrible because I can't be a normal person. I had great projects with my life but now I feel that all is over. Sometimes I think to kill myself. I'm very shy and I don't interact with a lot of people. I know that's a big problem but I don't know how to stop it.
Last summer I meet a guy. He was very nice with me. I felt very attracted and he used to follow me a lot. We were in a summer program together. We used to do a lot of thing together like to listen music or to talk about projects for the future. I felt identified with him. He used to look at me and to send me a kiss. That started my confusion. One time he went to my bedroom to listen music and he was very seductive. I have to try really hard to not get involved in his play. I got hard and I had to sit all the time he was there. He was touch himself and I tried to take distance.
After two weeks, of trying really hard to do not get involved, I tried to kiss him when we were alone but he reacted really aggressive telling me that I was a gay. I felt really but and I left him.
I thought that after that night he will not speak to me, but next morning, I see him in breakfast and he behaved normal. He continue following me, and I used to felt very uncomfortable, because he knew my secret something that I never had revealed before to anyone.
I have tried to forget him but we are still friends on facebook and I felt really bad for feeling the way I feel.
I think that the porno gay affected my perception of a good friendship and I feel terrible for that.
I felt very depressive when I try to stop watching porno and I do not know what to do. Please help.
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Hey there... I kno how u feel , don't be afraid of who u are ... If deep inside you u feel that u like guys that's not bad at all ! One day u just have to not care or be scarred ... First of all it's ur life and ur more free and have the right to be happy , all that people can do is talk .. They dont feed u or pay ur bills so who cares they are not going to sleep with the one person u chose to be with ,you will ... U understand what i mean...dont feel the way ur feeling , think of what u really want and after u do the right person will show up ! What ever u choose to be gay, straight or even bi that's alright ..... In my life I chosen to be straight but at one point I was a gay girl really gay I loved it until I feelin love and I found out I didn't really no what I wanted until I finally chosen to make a desicion and now I'm happy I still watch gay porn sometimes ..... But all I'm trying to say is that it all depends on what u want and try not to watch that much porn go hang out with friends talk to more people have fun with ur life ..... Porn can hurt you in someways just try not watch it anymore ....! I hope this helps u out u can message me if u want to talk about it I like helping people and have new friends! :)
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