I'm 15, and still in school obviously, and I'm in my last year. I hardly ever go, because school makes me panicky and makes me very upset. This started in 3rd year in upper school, subsided a little bit in 4th year, but now its come back even worse than before. When I do go to school, I spend most of my lessons in a place called the Student Center, as I just can't face going into lessons.
I feel like I can't go into lessons because I get very nervous around other people, especially loud, boisterious people, but the funny thing is, I feel fine in lessons like art, and I feel ok when I'm out with my friends, which makes my mum think that I'm just lying. Missing so much school has made me really behind on coursework, which is only making me worse, as I'm panicking about that now. I'm prone to extreme mood swings, which get worse around the time of my period, and at times I feel suicidal. I'm very open with my mum, but I have attempted suicide twice, and I don't feel like I can tell her how I feel, because I don't want to worry her. I don't like talking to my friends about this problem because they have enough worries of their own, and I'd feel like I'd be dumping all my problems onto them. I've also been going counselling for three years, which has helped quite a bit, but I'm determined to stop going soon, so I don't really want to bring any of this up.
Everythings starting to get on top of me, and I don't know what to do.
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Hi, I'm 14 and I know how you feel!!
I'm in my 3rd year at secondary school. Every new day makes me nervous and panicky; if anything happens that i dont like in lessons like if we have to do a speaking assessment or we do biology ( i'm very squeamish ) i get hot and dizzy and nervous and i have to go to the medical room. I must have been there at least 10 times this term. Last year, things eased off a bit because i was used to everything, but we've been given new classes this year and none of my friends are in mine and the work is so much harder!! All this stressing is affecting my eating, which has been making me ill. I've tried lots of things but none of them work in the long term!!!! Sorry i can't offer any advice but just wanted you to know that you're not alone!!! I really hope you get better and find something that works!! :)
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Holly
Dont worry and this should get easier ive attemped suicide too but this wont make things any better honey if you feel really down try writing in a diary i know it sounds stuid but it helps you get things off your chest and if one day you thing anout death just think about everyone you would leave behind - your mum can help you dont be worried about what she`ll think ive already made that mistake xx
hope this helps you Holly xx
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