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I first experienced it in high school, stemming from a panic attack I had one night. I laid in bed thinking why I look the way I look, and why I exist. This sent a rush of anxiety into my body and into a panic. I dealt with it for about three months at that time. Also, at that time of my life (when I was 17, so this was 2006) I never googled my symptoms, it ended up going away, until Christmas night of this year. For a decade it was gone. This time around it happened the same way, I was lying in bed, thinking about life and how fast it has gone by (which now I am the father of two with a girlfriend and 28). I knew that this was a familiar feeling, but it all seemed new to me again. Two weeks went by and I finally decided to Google the symptoms. I brought myself to find out it's known as Depersonalization. It's comforting to know you aren't alone, but I've some what created an obsession over it. Its been almost two months now, and I've been to the doctor and I've been to a Christian counselor. Things seem to be getting better and the symptoms linger but aren't as intensive. My anxiety is minimal to none at this point but there is still a sense of detachment. Most of all, my house not really feeling like it's my house. Also, my eyes are very sensitive to light. I think it's one of those things that has to gradually slip away and you might take some steps backwards every time you take one forward but you can't give up. When you don't have a fear of waking up in the morning, you'll know things are improving.
I want you to know that DP does not last forever, but I also want you to know that it can come back. Mine was gone for almost 11 years and it came back. It might again. It's a sh*t feeling, but you'll get through it as long as your positive. It's a learning experience and you have to believe it's happen for a reason. It's certainly changed some things for me. I've become connected with god again and I've quite drinking. I've also become a lot closer with my parents. So, take it as a learning experience, think positive, and you'll get through it!
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