Intercourse with 2 men during fertile days. Whos more likely the father?

If you don't know your cycle length, how do you know when you were fertile? Do you know when your August period started?

If you have a typical 28-day cycle, the you would have been fertile both days, and 28th would have been when you ovulated. But if your cycle were shorter, then you would have been unlikely to have been fertile 28th. However, if your cycle were 31 days, you would have been unlikely to have been fertile 25th. However, without more information, we can assume you were fertile both days.

As sex on 25th was unprotected, and on 28th it was protected, then it is likely that the 1st man is the father as (1) it is likely his was the only sperm to enter your vagina and (2) his sperm would have arrived in your fallopiam tubes first, and so would be the first to meet your egg.

The 17 weeks and 7 days is traditionally counted from your LMP (14th Spetember), even though the egg would not have been fertilised until a fortnight earlier, and would not have implanted in your womb until another 9 days (+/-3). Thus, as cycles are typically 28 days, your expected confinement date is 40 weeks from your LMP, rather than the 38 weeks from fertilisation. So I imagine you were given a date of about mid-summer's day. Scans can now give a better idea of dates by comparing sizes at different times.

However, I don't understand "according to my 6 week ultrasound I had the baby measured from crown to rump on Sept 29 a day after the protected sex". 6 weeks would take you close to 29th October (not September). I think you have got the wrong date.

So I think it is the first man's baby, but you didn't say why you wanted it to be his. You need to think about the implications of what you have done. I realise you said "im not proud of myself at all :/", so if you want to talk about those issues, just ask (privately if you prefer).

I hope this helps

Thank you so much I've been crying going extremely crazy about this Idk why I am because I used protection with the second man. It just bugged me because my first ultrasound I had matched with the exact day I had sex with the second man. I'm assuming my cycles are between 28 & 30 days. I don't remember what day I had a period in august. This pregnancy was Sooo unexpected. But I'm assuming I ovulated the 28th also because I remember that was the day I had the most cervical mucus that was wet & slippery but I had the same cervical mucus the 29th as well. I want it to be the first man because we already have a 5 yr old child together & he's excited about this one. I've brought it up to the man I used protection with & he's says there's no way because our condom didn't break & I remember it didn't. I just need to hear from someone who doesn't know me opinion.

Also I was given a due date of June 23, 2014.

Why did you have an ultrasound on 29th Sept? (my first ultrasound I had matched with the exact day I had sex with the second man) You had not missed a period by then! Indeed you couldn't be pregnant from your sex on the 25th by then.
Why was the pregnancy "Sooo unexpected"? If you have sex in your fertile period, that should not have been a surprise.
Who is the second man, and why did you have sex with him? He probably would say that it could not be from him, but why mention it to him at all? That could be a problem in the future. What does the first man think of you having had sex with the 2nd man?
Please check the date of your 1st scan again, but I feel sure it is the first man's baby. The due date of 23rd June 2014 sounds about right.

I had my first ultrasound scan on October 21, & it said I was 6 wks 1 day. & it worried me because it was closer to man I had used protection with. I know sperm can live for a couple of days but I still had the "what if" in back of my mind. The second man I used protection with just a guy I had been having sex with on occasions just a friend of a friend of mine. We always used a condom & none ever broke. I brought it up to him after I had the ultrasound done to just be sure he had the same view as me about our protection that night. I didn't tell the first man about it because I'm just scared of what He'll say cuz hes so excited about it. We're not together & haven't been in 5 years it was just a slip up we haf. Also the pregnancy was unexpected because I was in a 2 yr relationship about 8 months with a different man & we tried most of time we were together for a baby & it didn't happen so I thought something was wrong with me. I know I'm probably over reacting & the favor is in the first man but Im just nervous of some strange turn of events it comes out the 2nd man :( . It really eases my mind to know my due date matches with the first man.

Dear Mandee. Let me make some observations and raise some questions to help you. You must think these things through clearly and carefully for your own sake, and that of your 1st child (did you carry full term?) and new baby.

It seems that "first ultrasound scan on October 21, & it said I was 6 wks 1 day." is a week out. Was that the one you said was 29th Sep?

Why do you say "it worried me because it was closer to man I had used protection with" because it is not closer to 28th Sep

You say "I know sperm can live for a couple of days", but in fact can live in a woman's body for 5-6 days. That is why you are considered fertile on ovulation day and the preceding 5 days. The sperm waits in your fallopian tubes for an egg to be released.

"I brought it up to him after I had the ultrasound done to just be sure he had the same view as me about our protection that night." The danger is that if things go sour with that friend, he might bring up your doubts later.

"I didn't tell the first man about it because I'm just scared of what He'll say cuz hes so excited about it." But if he finds out later about your doubts, that might be worse.

"We're not together & haven't been in 5 years it was just a slip up" But he is excited about it. I think he cares for you more than you think. Why not get together? After all, you are having unprotected (bonding) sex with him.

"Also the pregnancy was unexpected because I was in a 2 yr relationship ... & we tried most of time we were together for a baby & it didn't happen so I thought something was wrong with me". So why did you use protection with "the second man"?

"the favor is in the first man but Im just nervous of some strange turn of events it comes out the 2nd man" So how will you find that out? Any time you have sex there is the possibility of pregnancy following.

Please take care

Hello Shephard, you asked if I carried my first child full term. No I did not I had an emergency csection at 32 weeks due to preeclampsia. I hope that doesn't happen with the baby I'm carrying now. Also I know for a fact my first my first ultrasound was the 2st of Oct. & It read as 6 weeks & 1 day. I know they start counting from my last menstrual period. I honestly do think I ovulated on the 28th or 29th of Sept. The only reason why I'm nervous is because I had sex with the second man around ovulation although it was protected. I know I shouldn't have told the second man but once I told him I was pregnant he completely stop talking to me I didn't really care because he was just a fling I didn't see it going further than sex. & I do want to tell the first man about it but friends keep telling me don't because it has to be his child & not the second man's child. Me & the first man aren't together for some reasons he has custody of his 2 other children & he's focused on taking care of them rather than a relationship with me, which I totally understand because I feel the same way. My whole situation is just really messed up right now I feel HORRIBLE. So do you still think its the first man's no doubt? & Do you think I'm overreacting to this when indeed the protection was used.properly with the second man? Thanks again

First ultrasound 21st of Oct.

I am sorry about you losing your first baby. You need to keep a watch on preeclampsia symptoms as there is a heightened risk following the first condition.

I don't think they can tell from the scan at 6 weeks how old it is, so I guess it was a calculation mistake. 6 weeks + 1 day (43 days) after 14th Sep is 27th Oct; 43 days after 7th Sep is 21st Oct. But that really makes no difference. Your due date is about right.

As I said earlier, if the first man ejaculated in you (as sex on 25th was unprotected) his sperm would have arrived in your fallopiam tubes first, and so would be the first to meet your egg, even if the 2nd man's protection failed. So I feel quite certain that the baby is the first man's.

I think that if you tell the first man about what happened (several of your friends know now) you should tell him that the sex with the second man was protected so you know that it is certainly his.

Although "the first man ... has custody of his 2 other children & he's focused on taking care of them", your baby will be his too, and he needs to be focused on taking care of your baby aslo. Indeed, the two of you could look after all three.

"My whole situation is just really messed up right now I feel HORRIBLE". You cannot undo the past, but you can make changes for the future. Do you want to talk about it?

"he was just a fling" - but you had sex with him 'on occasions', so why did you have sex with him. Who initiated it?

"I didn't see it going further than sex", but sex is never just sex, it always has implications. Sex is a bonding action.

I hope this helps.

Hello again, I didn't lose my first child he was just born early because of my preeclampsia which was scary & serious. He weighed in at 3lbs even & is now 5 yrs old & perfectly healthy :) . His father is the first man's as well. But as for my scan they confuse me sometimes but I read everywhere that early scans are accurate but not to the exact date. Thanks a lot I feel certain its the first man's as well I had just thought maybe his sperm had died off in the 3 days of me havin sex with the second man. I know I cannot undo the past at all & I'm tryin my very best to stop stressing over this so I can have a healthy pregnancy because I already had a partial placenta abruption at 14 weeks. I am going to let the first man know the situation which I'm sure He'll have doubts now about the baby :( . The second man we just hung out met through a mutual friend & ended up having sex. I know he was starting to have emotional feeling for me but I didn't feel the same way. But as soon as I told him I was pregnant he just cut me off which was shocking but life goes on. I just pray its the first man's child so we can have a family together & get on with our lives :)Thanks so much for taking your time out your day to answer my questions I was super stressed losing sleep & you've helped ease my mind .

Thank you. I'm pleased to have helped. I am also glad your son is fine. Now you are convinced the first man is the father, don't express your doubts, but understand if he does. Do whatever it takes to convince him, and I think it would be good if you can have a family together - really together. It would benefit you all. Just be careful you don't just end up having sex with someone else! It's not worth getting messed up again.

If you want to talk more, just ask. If you sign in you can send private messages.

Take Care, and I hope all goes well, but watch out for preeclampsia symptoms. Let me know how things turn out, please.

Thank you :) I will do all I can to convince him. I'm definitely not havin intercourse with anyone else either I usually have one partner at a time. This was so unlike me. But I will be sure to watch for preeclampsia again for there's a 20% it may happen again according to my Dr. I will be sure to let you know what happens. Take care as well :)

OK, thank you

Hey glad I saw this been looking for answers or people that relates to my best friend so I can calm her down but she had inter course a day apart with two guys the first day was feb.26 around that morning and it was unprotected but he use the pull out method the second is protection and he was the 27th around 11 that night she said she know it's the first because of no protection but she having the what if feeling I told her the same thing cause pull outs don't always what do y'all think and she was fertile that week and her ovulation date was the 26th from a app she used