Now I'm 3 years without a single relapse and I have no intention of smoking again, no desire or urge. Admittedly I feel much better compared with how I did when I smoked, no wheezing or coughing, my head is much clearer.
But still I feel paranoid. It's like it builds up, slowly, accumulative, and then suddenly I realize I'm just f*****g so scared of everything around me, like everybody is focused on me, and everybody is talking about me. It's horrible.
If anyone has had similar experiences it would be great to hear about them.
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Psychosis is possible but schizophrenia is unlikely - more likely OCD (intrusive thoughts). I have found that it is getting better with time, slowly. I think it takes ten years to recover from something like this because it means changing my entire lifestyle. I have since taken up Martial Arts, Yoga, Bodybuilding, Painting, anything to get some healthy social interaction and this definitely helps. Also a little Sertraline ;)
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