Now I am out of this, I feel I have suddenly so much time in my hand. I feel like interacting with people and make friends. But my confidence is so crippled that I am struggling to reach out to people. I feel I don't know how to interact or if my words are making sense. This loneliness and no human support system is again making it really hard to stay clean. Withdrawal is bad, but somehow I am working out 2 hrs a day and exhausting myself enough to get sleep and crave for food. But no social life and inability to get one is making me very depressed.
Does any one been through this? Should I give more time? Is it too early to conclude? any suggestion would be appreciable. I really don't want to go back to Pot and live a normal healthy life now.
Lastly, Thanks everyone on this forum for all your support - unfortunately there was None and I guess I could make it with that. But surely would not have had made it so far without this forum. Check this out -
***edited by moderator*** web addresses not allowed
Feeling Great and Content.. I feel the chemical composition of my brain is getting back to normal.. able to retain more than what I have been in years.. Workout continues as earlier.. Current weight 200.5 LBS.. (Started the when the day when I had quit - 216 LBS)..
No more mood swings.. But Sleeping is still an issue.. Wake up 2-3 times a night and not able to make it more than 5 hrs..
Started studying for MS certification 4 weeks ago and getting back to better pace.. 4 Hrs/62 pages as of today with full time IT job..
Going back to toastmasters from next week.. hope that goes well!
No more looking back now!! :-)..
Improvement in Sleeping.. Figured that the culprit was Allergy than the withdrawal.. Last 3 days 7 hrs of uninterrupted sleep is coming in my plate.. Feeling better than earlier during the day..
Working out as earlier.. Clocked 198 LBS yesterday..
Slowed down on study front.. Had to recently travel for work.. I know its important to keep exercising my brain to get back to normal..
Getting confidence back socially.. More attentive and witty.. Enjoying the social attention!!
I really like your thread. I am 31 M and am having a hard time quitting having smoked pot since I was 18. In fact there have been times that i have bought bags and weed and flushed them down the toilet. Thats how addicted I am. Blame everyone else like my gf etc, when really it is me with the problem. The real problem with it though is that I have asthma, and the stuff is now giving me bad attacks and shortness of breathe, that it is actually killing me and I know it, and it is really scaring me. Being out of work doesnt help either because I have so much time oh my hands. I do painting and art to keep my busy but it also sucks because pot fuels my creativity. I just am really having a hard time and your thread was inspirational.
Keep it up, sounds like you are making the correct decisions. I am a long time toker myself getting ready for a quit in the next two or three days. Done it plenty of times, but I think this time I really need to stay off of it.
I have been in your shoes James.. Trust me! Its not too hard to quit and key is to keep trying.. Quitting cold turkey is the way to go..
Four principles I followed:
1. Living day by day and feeling proud next morning of one successful sober day.
2. Very short/daily goals and not expecting much from myself.
3. Working out - any kind of physical activity to exhaust yourself.
4. Avoid all distractions - mostly emotional ones and company of people that encourages smoking.
5. Postpone any major activity or decisions for the time being.
Withdrawal is challenging, but will last only few weeks. Confidence, Life and health you get back is not comparable.
Am Happy that my progressive path continues. Day before yesterday, was really tough for me emotionally (colleague at work got laid off). This situation was the strongest candidate for me to relapse. I kept forcing myself to remain clam and positive. Today, I learned that I survived because of my renewed positive attitude and good work since last few weeks. I got additional responsibilities and appreciation from my manager. All credit goes to being sober. I had messed up this kind of situation many times before. I feel so different and good this time.
Still feel that I have to work on my mind more and push myself more. Toastmasters have been tough to start with. I guess I will be ranked bottom few in the group as of now. But I know I can climb my way up if I continue. For me it’s more like – “something better than nothing” and only thing this will do is to Help!
Health wise - really feel better with each passing day. Sleeping issue is still there but slowly improving. Surprisingly I am more calm and patient in dealing with people. Driving safe and not over reacting on road. Social situations are sometimes overwhelming, but again taking it slowly. After 5 yrs of destruction I really am not the same person and for all of us it’s a key to realize that and let it go. Honestly it’s a whole new life and we can become better than what we used to be.
Current weight - 197 LBS.
Keep posting and share your feeling friends!!
PS: - Nothing like being sober!! No looking back now!!
Sleep is getting back to normal.. I am reaching 6 hrs uninterrupted.. Really wish to clock 8hrs.. I have been doing survey on sleep benefits and for recovery of brain and physique its vital..
My third toastmasters session went better than the rest.. Moderator acknowledged my improvement.. It was quite encouraging..
Lately, I have feeling little void and not finding new things to enjoy.. May be, Its the phase of fluctuating motivation.. or may be I am trying to do several things at a time.. But, this is the right way to go ahead.. I have to keep reminding myself of going slow and keep visualizing what I can become after few months.. Last 8 weeks have given me a hope and a sense of accomplishment that I have been craving for years.. a confidence and self respect!!.. Earlier, I always believed that I can go along the progressive path with pot, drinks and several other bad habits I had.. Honestly, its just too much to take along and really not needed.. There are better things to do and be high upon.. Its a matter of knowledge and experimenting.. It's rightly said that "Doing the right thing is the right thing to do".
On my earlier attempts to quit.. I always started expecting a lot from myself too soon, stressed out and could not hold it for long.. Luckily, this time loosing weight and studying in recovery process gave me a sense of accomplishment and traveled with me all along till today.. Losing this rhythm at this stage really scares me.. I fought this battle all alone without human support system.. I am developing social life but not seeking support yet in my battle.. May be I am not there yet.. Developing social aspect is quite challenging.. But, I will have to do it.. I am glad that its on progressive path.. Definitely better than earlier.. People around me like my positive attitude..
Still a long way to go.. Have to keep going.. & going.. Whatever happens! No looking back now..
PS: Current weight - 195.5 LBS
Thanks Wiggins for the support.. 190 lbs and reaching 2 miles of run daily is my milestone and martial arts is def. thing to do next..
I am a day behind two of my major milestones.. 2 months clean and 195 lbs (-20+ lbs).. I feel awesome, highly motivated, very energetic.. Mental health is improving very well.. Focus, concentration and retentivity is better than ever in years..
Running is becoming easier, overall feeling very healthy.. Starting Tennis from next week.. Workout is becoming more fun..
Every passing day I feel that ppl around me take me more seriously and gives more attention and respect.. friend have started looking out for me and inviting me.. I still feel conscious to share what I was/am going through but do have enough to be engaged witht hem and have fun.. ppl do speak abt the noticeable changes in me.. that feel really good..
Sleep is improving.. Feeling great abt myself overall!
Thanks for listening!
Feeling better than before.. I passed my MS certification yesterday.. I believe my mind is pretty much back on track.. still exercising it often through new study plans.. Working out is becoming a habit.. I look forward to it every evening.. great stress reliever and makes me feel good..
Now my life is going on as normal.. I don't blame anything on MJ anymore and taking full responsibility of my actions.. no excuses!! I will go on with my life and may not be posting here quite often.. If anyone needs me while their way out of MJ.. write me! all the very best!!
Hello everyone! I thought of greeting you all and wish you luck on getting over addiction.
Post weed days are wonderful and real fun. I recently came back from an amazing vacation to YellowStone national park with my friends. In last 5 yrs this was the first time i could appreciate the nature closely and explore my hobby of wild life photography. I am also enjoying my new hobbies of horseback riding and saxophone. Social life is going good, every day I meet new people and appreciate and learn from their point of view. All due to the best decision taken 141 days ago. I hope I keep going strong and stay positive. Wish you all good luck!