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Yes I have had to deal with the same things. My mother often, if I didn't agree with her on something , would think I was someone else who meant her harm. I also dealt with panic/ anxiety attacks. This is common for individuals who had a trumatic childhood I was tood. They calmed down after releiving theraphy. I highly encourage it... Please keep going and have more than one outlet... im aroung the same age and at this point you just have to accept them the way they are and understand that you all are two completly different individuals....
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Thank you for replying It helps to not feel alone. ......
My other brothers disconnected from her because they do not want to deal with it or it is too much for them. But I wont do that because she is my mother. I wish you all the luck..
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My Mom is schizophrenic and my dad is bipolar and has post traumatic stress disorder. By the time I was born both of my parents were well aware of their "disorders" and both taking medication. Things worked out OK for awhile. We moved alot and my parents never worked. We never had food in the fridge and the idea of personal hygiene was non existent. Things started to plummet when dad took up a recreational drug habit. My 2 siblings and I were removed from their care when I was 9. We went into foster care and tried really hard to keep in touch with one another and our mom. I remember feeling terrified a lot, thinking that people were coming for us. I remember wondering why no one liked us and why people thought we stunk (all of these a result of my moms delusions) I developed an inferiority complex which I still struggle with daily.. and I'm 25 with my own small child now. Now my relationship with my mom is strong. She is still delusional, I am even the focus of some of her delusions. It can be very hard to maintain a relationship with a person who suffers from this disorder. There are a few things to remember about maintaining a relationship with a schizophrenic person. 1. NEVER take anything personally: Your loved one is scared often terrified and often feels like they are evil or unworthy of your time. When a person lashes out in a psychotic way, you can tell them " please dont talk like that, it scares me" or "hurts me" or whatever your feeling. 

2. If a person is in the midst of a psychotic break don't affirm what they are saying, but don't push back to hard either. For example if my mom said to me, "I killed you and I will kill you again" I would tell her, " Of course you didnt kill me and please don't talk like that, it really scares me" There's another method that you can take which involves psychoanalysis but it is risky if your not sure of your analysis.

3. Never loose sight of the things you love about your struggling person. Schizophrenia disorders thoughts it makes people loose touch with themselves and become almost stuck inside this crazy world that they can't express. Your person is still in there, they are just kind of confused. There is a really interesting book written by a women who experiences schizophrenia. The book is called, The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness, by Elyn Saks. It has been HUGELY helpful for me in maintaining a relationship with my Mom. The perspective from someone who has experienced the disorder really helps to understand some of the confusions. 

 

  

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i know the feeling
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Clair, I am 52 years old and used to worry the same thing. Not I nor my two siblings, nor any of our children have developed or inherited the disease. I think you can stop worrying about that because anyone with a schizophrenic parent already has enough to worry about. Some schizoprenics take medication,and I understand that can help a lot. My mother, who is 89 and going strong, was ill for as long as I can rememer, and never believed she had a problem. Not surprisingly, she would never take meds. The ony time she did was after a forced hospitalization (cuffed, led away by cops after yelling at people out the window). She was great for the short time she was on the meds and quickly fell back into that dark place when she went off them. My advise: do what you can for your family, but find your own way, find your own happiness, because it will eat you up if you dont.
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Hello. It was nice seeing that I'm not alone in dealing with a schizophrenic parent and I thought I would throw my two cents in. My dad was never officially diagnosed with schizophrenia, but he has all of the symptoms and there isn't any other disorder that I'm aware of that fits his symptoms. I think part of the problem was the doctors he was sent to, who literally asked my mom what was wrong with him when she had no idea. Another problem is his refusal to take medication. He found out someone he knew was sneaking medication pills in his drinks and went ballistic. Honestly, I don't blame him because if medication was forced on me, I would not want it either. But enough of that. This is my story of dealing with my schizophrenic parent.

 

The only memory I have of him being completely sane  is when we were doing drywall together when I was a little girl. He was very successful in the drywall business when I was young and before I was born. My favorite hobby was drawing, and I remember being impressed with the paints and liquids he used on the wall. It was all very exciting to me and I could tell he really enjoyed what he was doing. However, this was after he started showing symptoms so he wasn't completely under control then either.

My dad started developing his mental illness when he was in his late twenties to early thirties. According to my mother along with some other people I know, he began to slowly ramble on about astrology and cause arguments and buy astrology books. His ideas began to not make sense. Also around the same time he began to cross dress and wear womens clothing and wanted to be female. I'm NOT transphobic in any way, I fully support transgender rights and I forever will. All I'm saying is the two could be linked, and that he never really wanted to be female but the disease was beginning to make him believe in delusional thoughts which led him to thinking he was female. Or if you want to look at it in a spiritual aspect, a female spirit or soul or whatever you may wish to call it with malicious intents could have possessed him and acted out in symptoms similar to schizophrenia. Or he could have been a female born in the wrong body. I'm not judging and I'm open to any theories.

It eventually became obvious that he wasn't in his right mind when he had a mental breakdown and nearly strangled my mother to death after creating a shrine of their marriage. He was going to kill himself as well, but he didn't because he thought he would drop me and kill me whilst he choked to death. He ended up losing his job (drywall) along with his passion for it. The dreams he had when he was 'normal' had gone away, and illusions and thoughts began to consume him.

My dad was a very aggressive person and attacked any family member who yelled at him or insulted him or caused a fight with him. Oddly enough, he never hurt me physically, but he did insult me in innapropriate ways at times. My family never did a good job at treating him properly and were in total self denial about him being transgendered and called him "Steve" instead of "Sheila". This angered me, but when I confront them about it they always tell me I don't understand because I never got to know him as a "man". I may have not known who he was prior to his mental disorders, but what I do know is that it's much better to a persons health to accept them then it is to try to make them into something they're not.

But sometimes he was the greatest dad ever. He would take me to amusement parks and vacations and we would often go to movies and other recreational places together.  Not only would we have lots of fun together, but we would also get along so well. We could sometimes have rational discussions and share each others possessions, such as clothing and makeup. I accepted the "Sheila" that the rest of my family could not learn to love. And even though he was mentally ill, I sometimes got to see a glimpse of the "Steve" that my mother, uncles and grandparents once knew. I'm not using "Sheila" in a negative connotation to discriminate against transgenders. In this case, the "Sheila" is the illness and the "Steve" is the person prior to the illness.

My dad would talk about unreal things such as the "thought police", how he used to be a girl but aliens forced him to be a boy, animals controlled by the bible, believing that he was God, Jesus, or Satan and many more. He would associate initials of events or companies with the initials of real life people (for example, he thought that AD stood for ADolf Hitler) and he thought my mom was Jesus and that I was part of some Russian organization. He never believed that he was insane and that he was perfectly normal and that the rest of the world were the ones who were insane. No matter how many people told him he needed help, he would not listen. That is his decision and I do not judge him for it. Although his mind is obviously consumed by the illness, I know he is an intelligent person who knows what is best for himself. Some people would judge me for not supporting medication or attempting to "fix" him. Again, I learned that it is better to accept someone for who they've become than it is to mourn over the person who they once were.

I was sometimes made fun of at school for having an insane transgendered father, but I chose to ignore them because I learned that real friends don't judge you for things that aren't under your control.

As of today, my dad is doing much better than he was in the past, but he never will be who he used to be. His conversations are becoming more rational but he still can become triggered into a mental breakdown I'm not going to lie, I sometimes wish things were different but I know that everything happens for a reason.

As for me, I don't regret the fact that my dad is schizophrenic, nor do I regret the fact that I may end up with the same disease one day. If I get schizophrenia or a similar disease I will do my best to battle it. I don't regret what he's said or done, and I don't mourn over the fact that he refuses to take medication because I know that even if he does take them, he will never be the "Steve" that my family sees in him ever again. He may get better or show more glimpses of the so-called "Steve" but he will never be completely sane again, and that's okay. I know he is a strong individual because he fought the desires to kill himself or others and I know that deep, deep down he is a good person. He's just lost and the best I can do is support him and love him as he tries to find his way.

Honestly, the one thing I regret is that I never got to know this "Steve" my family talks about, nor will I ever. I only have one memory of him as who he was before he slipped away and I will forever cherish that memory. If you got to see your schizophrenic parent before they went insane, please be aware of how lucky you truly are. I have to live my life constantly hearing stories of how "wonderful" my dad was before he changed and it hurts because I will never get to know him like that. I know my viewpoint of my fathers schizophrenia is biased because of this, which my family has to constantly remind me of. I just wish that I could go back years and sit down and have a conversation with my dad, "Steve", as he once was- even it was just once.

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Hey everyone. I'm 24 years old and my dad suffers from schizopherina. He believes that angels talk to him and that he fights the devil. Ok so here's my thing he has been violent his whole life and even thou I live on my own I'm scared its only a matter of time before he attempts to kill me. He drives by my house all the time, texts me calling me every name in the book, even goes as far as telling other relatives he wants to hurt me. I've been to the police numerous times. They won't help I live in the state of pa and there seems to be no one willing to help me. Has Any one been through this with a mentally ill parent?
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My mom thinks shes a "high priestess queen of heaven" and people are demons, possessed spirits etc. She says that my dad and I are "zenned" and theirs people who know kabala following us and trying to kill us. She constantly talks to herself ("Jesus her husband"). Shes never been properly diagnosed but its obvious that she has schizophrenia. My whole family knows about her but my dad won't do anything. I try not to talk to her. We currently live in a motel because she got us kicked out of our apartment for harassing the neighbors and the land lord we've been living in different motels about 11 months. I don't know why my dad wont do anything about her he just ignores her problem. I avoid her as much as I can and leave whenever possible.

I remember she used to be normal when I was very young, but she slowly became more and more different. We moved to the house my grandparents left their daughters. Only her and I stayed there with my aunts and cousins. My dad stayed with my grandma. My mom said Jesus told her to divorce my dad. She told me she was going to divorce him all the time before we moved. I didn't understand what it meant at the time. My dad didn't come visit much for a while because she would demand money. She tried to turn me against him by letting me go hungry, saying there was no food because he didn't bring money. But that only made me think "why doesn't she get a job?" "I work for Jesus". She wouldn't let me play with my cousins or go outside for a long while because I needed to study math that ended when she beat me. She apologized but ill never forget. The look on her face was distant and cold as she punched me I asked her to stop but she kept punching even harder, my whole upper arm was black. I told family members even showed them the bruises but they didn't care or do anything. I don't talk to or visit any of my family anymore. I regret not having called child services myself. My dad wasn't around to know anything. After that I started to realize she wasn't normal. she'd leave and say she had to preach to and bring people back to our house. I don't know how these people believed her, my aunt believed her too. When that aunts son lived with us my mom said he could talk to Jesus he used her to get toys and things... I remember the favoritism.

My aunts called the police one night, they came in our room and took her away. My aunts all got restraining orders against her we all went to court, even the neighbors testified against her. I was in my dads custody and everything was ok. She was gone, I didn't care where she was I hoped she wouldn't come back. A couple of years went by and she popped back up she was living on skid row. I warned my dad not to let her back but of course he didn't listen. He ignores the things she does lets her control the finances and now this is where we are. "She's just religious"...
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"it took me around 15 years to get over the damage or i guess trauma he had caused over the years" you mean to say the trauma or damage THE DISEASE cause over the years. If I may repeat what was said earlier in this forum that schizophrenia is a chemical imbalance. It is not your father's fault even though it may very much seam so. You must stop blaming your father. "He knew what he was doing, that's the hurtful thing" you must understand that schizophrenia is not a psychopath or a sociopath, although both are also mental illnesses. Your father did these things to you because of his disease. I am not a psychologist and don't know your father so please forgive me if I am making assumptions. I just have a lot of sympathy for schizophrenic people since I have lived with one my whole life... and have gone to far lengths to defend people with mental illnesses and try to remove the stigma surrounding them.

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I have a mother that is going on 60 years old. I am going on 28. Dads passed away at a young age. So its just been me and my mum. My mum has paranoid schizophrenia since I was 7 or 8 years old. I always had to know what was the "wrong" from the "right". It was very weird growing up. She would think all my toys and games where "possessed " and she would throw them away. I missed a lot of school because she wouldn't let me go to school. She thought "ppl" where out to kill me! She thinks theres satellites on the roof of her house watching her. She thinks shes not "alone" And she thinks that we will get "millions and millions of dollars for what the people did to us" (nobody did nothing to us!) and this money is not coming for the 649 she says lol .

 

Sometimes it is so hard dealing with a parent with paranoid schizophrenia. But what can you do. At the end of the day this is the women who raised me and loves me. And it is the disease not her acting out. I always try to keep that in mind.

 

I want to through a big party for her but she is like a fire ball you never know how she will react.... i dont want her to have a out burst with a whole bunch of guests... thats not cool .

 

Anyways its nice to come on this website and see there is other people out there that deal with this kind of thing too! sometimes I feel im the only one with a parent with schizophrenia. its hard for me to relate to others sometimes just because of everything i had to go through with my mum at such a young age and still going through.

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My mother is bipolar with schizophrenic tendencies. It's like one day she is completely normal and the next she kicks me out of the house because she thinks I talk about her to everyone. She says she can't work because of her mental illness, and just sits around the house all day and smokes pot. I'm out doing college, highschool, and working. It's like whatever I do though it never pleases her. She's always right, and I always screw everything up. I'm about to give up on our relationship I just don't know what to do.
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Look online for a NAMI meeting near you!!!
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Schizophrenia can be treated and there wouldnt be any symptoms. One has to follow-up correctly with the doctor, listen to the doctors advice correctly, see the same doctor unless the doctor advices to see another doctor,  take the medication in time. If so, the patient wont behave badly and would be just like any other normal person.

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Hi. My mom was schizophrenic as well. She died of cervical cancer in nov. Im 28 and it was extremely hard to deal with her. I have overwhelming sense of grief and guilt.im glad her suffering is over, but sad at the same time.
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My dad is a paranoid schizophrenic and it is so hard living day to day making sure he is okay. He is 45 years old and im not sure how much longer he will make it because usually people with schizophrenia live til they're in their fifties. Schizophrenia really damages families and it is NOT the person with the illness's fault. You have a genetic predisposition to getting it, but if only one parent has it, you only have a 10% chance of getting it.

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