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I have been with my bf for a year we moved in together and all was great then three months ago he moves out and goes back home to his moms. I do not hear from him for two months. He calls one day out of the blue and asks me to come see him. I of course do. The next day he is admitted to a mental health hospital. He was in the hospital for a month. When he gets out he calls me all excited tells me he loves me. We have four wonderful days together. He also tells me about a "friend" he met while in the hospital. The fifth day he does not call me I go by his mothers house and the "friend" he met is at the house. I waited till she left and went in to see him. He seemed really distant and told me he needed time to himself as he wasnt feeling well. This was on a Sunday I did not hear from him for a week and on Saturday out of nowhere he texts me and tells me that He just wants to be single and he is sorry if this comes as a shock to me or inconviences me in any way. I tried to get him to talk to me in person and he wont. I talked to his mom and told her I think it is because of this "friend" his mom tells me he told her that he is done with the friend as well. That night I go by his house and he is out again with the "friend." I call his mom and she tells me just to let it go and move on. I finally called this "friend" yesterday and she told me that she has told him she just wants to be friends she is going through a divorce however while in the hospital he told her he was going to break up with me and he wrote he a letter saying that he loved her and also they spent alot of time together and kissed alot wihile in the hospital. She told me she knows he is not stable and when they went out he was holding her hand and feeling on her. She is afraid if she does not talk to him he will end up back in the hospital. I am just at a loss he will not answer any of my phone calls or texts. I dont know if I should just wait and see if he contacts me or just forget him. I love him sooooo much.......

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Hi there dr6dolittle, So let me start by saying that even if everyone tells you to forget him, you probably won't, at least not right away right? You love him,& you've been together for a substantial amount of time & you don't just forget someone you love over night. That being said, you sound like a reasonable, intelligent young lady and this doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship, not just because he has a mental illness, because that is no excuse for how he has treated you. You didn't mention what the circumstances were surrounding his moving out, if you were fighting, if he was having a schizophrenic episode or what led up to him moving out and subsequently not speaking to you for months, so I don't know if there was tension between you two and that's why you didn't speak or if he just up and left one day and didn't talk to you for the two months? At any rate, my gut feeling is that you are just there on the back burner for him when he is feeling "well" and that he will eventually come back telling you he loves you again. You have to decide that you are worth more than that. You kinda glossed over the fact that he is telling you he loves you and seeing this "friend" around the same time, that's not ok, or at least shouldn't be to you,(this "friend" that he met while in a psychiatric hospital and started dating I might add, how healthy is that really?) ha ha then the "friend" tells you that she knows he's not stable...no kidding? she was in the hospital too...and started dating another patient...is that stable? From one woman to another, I'd stay away from her too. You & the "friend" need to realize that you are not responsible for his choices, if he goes back to the hospital, neither one of you are to blame, it's not up to you to keep him stable, that is what the doctor's at the hospital are there for, and him staying on his meds and coping like everyone else has to when they are upset. Honestly, NO I wouldn't "WAIT" around for him to contact you, you should try getting out with friends, finding something new to do, take your mind off him and give him the space he asked for. He obviously wants out of the relationship, and moved on with someone else, let her have him & find someone that will not play head games with you and leave you hanging, wondering, confused, & hurt, don't put your life on hold for him. I know it's hard when your heart is involved, the heart wants what the heart wants, beleive me I know...but that's why you have to use your head and think about what he's doing, what you want for your life, if this is worth it? I really hope this helps, you can PM me if you ever want to talk. I'm on here all the time. Good luck.   

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I'm currently going through a similar situation, I am glad I had read this because Imam going through abandament from my mentally I'll fiancé,his mother has tried every thing to prevent him from staying with me,he has been talking to another woman he knew and had feelings for before, now this other woman is trying to get him back and his mom is behind the it all and he is entertaining the idea that he is going to be better off in that situation that what I can do for him,that this girl will provide better for him.
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