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To make an extremely long story as short as possible, my mom refuses to speak with a Psychiatrist or even a therapist. She refuses any type of treatment, therapy, medication and also refuses to accept that she has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. I got her to go to one therapy session (it took me almost a year) and that's when she was diagnosed. I am the driving force in trying to help her. It's been the hardest thing I have ever done. I have gone to therapists and taken my husband and brother with me to these appointments. I have had family meetings and been a huge suppourt to my dad. My father still calls her stupid because she thinks my husband and his family, people from our church, and even strangers are conspiring to harm her. I have explained to him that it is a chemical imbalance in her brain and that she's not stupid. She is suffering from a mental illness. I think he is in denial. VERY FRUSTRATING! I am glad he was there when she was diagnosed. My mom also believes my husband and his family, people from our church, and her neighbors are breaking into her home and stealing things like magazines and laundry detergent. She has found a lot of things she claims have been stolen. She says that these people realized that she's on to them and put the stuff back. She also believes they are killing her plants and she has sent them off to be tested for the reason of death. Nothing was found. That when these people look at her they are thinking about how to 'mess with her' and 'throw her off of her balance' as she puts it. She believes this has been happening for the last five years. She says she doesn't see things or hear voices, but I know she is suffering from delusions and never has a basis for any of her accusations. No proof, just her theories. I am 29 with and I have an 11 yr old sister still at home. She doesn't respect my mom as she should and I believe she blames my mom for everthing that goes wrong. I know this effcting her in many ways. I have two small kids and my mom is missing out on everything wonderful about being a grandma. It is very hard to allow her to be part of my life because of he beliefs about my husband and his family. It is also very hard to not have my mom anymore. She is a very different person now. How do I help her? I told her she can visit and play with my babies, but she doesn't come over, even if my husbands at work. My husband is very supportive and loving and so is his family. I told my mom that I am not going to ask to her to go to a Psychiatrist anymore and that I am done asking to take medication. If she wants to then she can. She doesn't seem to know what to do now. It has confused her and she hates that the ball is in her court. She truly believes that all this stuff is happening.

Any advice would be appreciated. I feel numb and a deep sadness dealing with all of this.

Coping

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Hi there, it is hard to hear that your mom refuses to get help but you really have to realize that it's not your responsibility that your mom gets better--it's her responsibility. You can support her all you like but there isn't anything else you can do about this nor do you have a responsibility to. Does that make sense?
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My mother also has delusions and hallucinations and I can't get any help for her. She refuses medical or mental help for 13 years now. She feels persecuted by the dead and by Lutherans and feels even the Catholic church she has gone to for 40 years is not Catholic but filled with Lutherans now. I don't understand the whole Lutheran/Catholic thing except that before becoming sick she was a very devout Catholic, and somehow that now makes Lutherans the enemy. She has called the police because she thought someone was stealing from my dad. She won't talk to her grandchildren because they have things in their heads that the police can hear through. She talks about a place she goes to "reverse mountain" where she ministers to the dead who are in pain. And now 13 years later her hair is falling out, she's lost lots of weight, she doesn't take care of herself, she's too weak to even eat, and still she will not get help.

It's very frustrating for us, her daughters, now that my dad has passed (which my mom refused to go to his funeral because she is still talking to him and he's fine) because everywhere we turn we are told that unless she is suicidal or homicidal they can't help us.

SHE CANNOT AND NEVER WILL HELP HERSELF. She is 77 years old and I'm afraid she will slowly die in the state she is in now and never find peace.

IF THERE IS ANYONE OUT THERE WHO CAN HELP ME GET MY MOTHER HELP - PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

Thanks.
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you should be able to go to your justice of the peace and get a form to get her arrested by police and assessed for 72 hours, then they decide to either keep her or release her - its a very hard path, I know, I have had to do this repeatedly over the 20 years since my mom has been diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic... know deep in your heart that you are doing the right thing - and that she is fighting a disease. :(
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