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Yes, I know all about growing up with a schizophrenic/paranoid father.
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Hello, my dad is insane. I don't know how he got it, but whatever. He tortured animals because they hurt me. He beat me with a belt holding on to my neck. I pretty sure I passed out that night, because I bit him or something. He taught me to rip someone's face off. He lied down on train tracks naked. The weird thing is that when I hug him, I still feel safe with him. Even if he said, "She's dead to me," when he thought I wasn't listening in.

My family hids the keys and hides in the kitchen whispering when he has his moments. My father finally moved on from my mom and had another child with some chick. I fear for my baby sister's life. My mother in law is too weak, to handle my father's out bursts. Once my grandma dies... That family is going to die with her.

I probably need help, the only reason that got me where I am today is my mind repeating "if you don't want to be like your father you must," "what are you insane," "you don't want to be like him," that sh*t. "If you cut yourself, you'll be just like him" I'm pretty sure that's unhealthy. Lol. I'm 15 years old, and my dad is insane. My whole family is insane it's like the white trash family in how to kill a mocking bird.
I felt alone. I felt my fate was already set to be just like him when I found out my dad was insane. I didn't want to know anymore then that my dad was different, because I knew I was different. i was afraid what would happen to me if people found if I was less then them. Insane. I fear becoming more like my father. Does anybody understand that feeling?

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I don't normally do this kind of thing, but I'm losing my sh*t today.
I didn't really 'grow up' around my dad. I have bits and pieces of memories, like him abusing my mother and my older (half) brother, but never me. His first real child.. his baby girl. My mother divorced him for some bar fly she met, and moved to the other side of the state when I was 12. Even then, I had only been seeing my dad every other weekend. He seemed normal.. He was happy, aside from the divorce. When we did get to visit him, he took us to church a lot. He's the reason I have my head on straight. He took me to church, and taught me how I should act. He taught me to be kind, and help people out when they needed it. Growing up with my mom and her bar fly boyfriend, I begged to go live with my dad. So when I graduated high school and turned 18, that's just what I did. I left my three brothers, my mother, and her new meth-head husband (not the bar fly) and I moved 4 hours north.
I quickly learned that the man I made up in my head as a child wasn't the man my dad was anymore. The second summer I lived with my dad, he hit my brother for some still un-known reason. He had started drinking at this point. A lot. I was in and out of his house, living with friends, and an old boyfriend. That was years ago now.

Now I have my own house, and have been in this town for 5 years. Recently, I talked with a friend about my dads behavior. I have grown used to it, but careful not to bring anyone around, or warn them before hand if I do. But this friend I talked too, said his behavior sounded like Paranoid Schizophrenia, and I contemplated it, and changed the subject.

Today has somewhat set me back. And I'm sorry this is a long story, I just thought some back ground might have been good. Today, while sitting in my dads truck with him, I googled Paranoid Schizophrenia, and I was dumbfounded. I always thought my dad just had some weird personality. He always swore there were people after him, putting things in his food and drinks, and breaking into his house. He would see people on their cell phones and think it was a walkie-talkie, and that they were following him. He always said he heard the voice of God and that sometimes he would lead him. I remember one time I said something, and my dad said "I've been hearing that quote all day long, don't let them control you." He would say stuff like that, and my brothers and I would just ignore it. We thought he was just.. crazy. When he would buy cases of water, he would have me drink one first to see if there was poison (or something) in it. There never was. Long story short, my brothers have stopped coming around. It seems my dad is getting worse. All he does is stay home and drink, and go to work. I don't know how he survives. I'm all he has, I think. And I don't think he realizes what he does, or how crazy he sounds most of the time. I don't know how to tell him, or even actually talk to him. I'm afraid I just have to deal with it, and just be there for him. I know he won't accept that anything is wrong. In my dads eyes, he is perfect, and it's everyone else around him that is flawed. I'm afraid if I mention anything, he will just think "they are controlling me." I just need help. I don't know what to do anymore.
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He is right and you're absolutely wrong. Born with this.
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Wow... Your story and your Dad sounds so much like mine! He became delusional and stalked me... Thought he was on mission to save me. Then he got violent. A different guy than he was when I was little. Sad.
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My father is schizo. He makes my life and my family's life so hard. He aggressive, he has no problem pushing or choking me and my mom. He's been in a fist fight with my 20 year old brother. My dad smokes a lot, he loves to drink and I see it makes his illness WORSE. He was in the Air Force when he was younger and helped build the planes etc and he talks to himself a lot about that. My mom says he had actually had to build some government secret planes and he does talk a lot of about that. His brothers and sisters want nothing to do with him, care giving homes are expensive (he can't work). I wish I could look up to my father and be proud and hope one day he could walk me down the isle but I hate him. I hate that he will do anythingggg to drink (steal & lie). I hate that he does drugs sometimes. I hate how aggressive he is that I've actually had to taze and pepper spray him because he had me against the wall choking me. I feel like he's making me go crazy because I stress so much about getting him out of the house, about him just being out of my life. That's horrible but... I'm 21 I can't deal with this. I have my own problems, I might be incapable of having a kid, I can't handle both of these problems.
I'm sorry I really needed to vent.
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My dad has schizophrenia and believes he's the messiah, god is a million faced being, we all become fish when we die and all sort of similiar stuff... I think I haven't really updated myself on his hallucinations for a long time. He refuses to go to a doctor and claims he's completely healthy. I doubt he can be salvaged at this point since he practically never left his room back when he lived with us and I doubt that's changed since than. I haven't really seen him in the last two years so I guess I don't really know.
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This story touched me in that it's sounds almost exactly like my life with my daughter who is 13 now. Her dad was diagnosed with schzophrenia when she was 7& I to have tried to shelter her from so much. We divorced soon after the diagnosis. He's a different man than I once was married to. She tends to worry about him. I tell her it's not her fault. He loves her but he's sick. She and I get through this with prayer but I pray one day she will understand why I keep her away. And not resent me for it. It's hard. She misss her daddy before the illness took him
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Hi my dad is schyzophrenic i fear i will develop it too but as im introvert with high intelligence and self awareness i think that self awareness and deep toughts about it is the best weapon against it (people like me know what im talking about) (i know when im "weird" and when im not (put very very veeeery simply)). I fear i will be diagnosed with it too so im struggling
in everyday life to fight by myself even the "slightest toughts". And hear this: if your parent is like mine he will do anything for his family and with my strong sense of emphaty i am so sorry and sad for him because he is SUCH A GOOD MAN and everyone will still think about him as loonatic. I will help him with everything, support him and never give up on him. If you want to know if youre schyzo yourself there are only 2 options-either you know you have problems fight it with your inner strenght(only few people are capable of it) or go to psychiatrist go to tests.
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At first i was scared but now i want to help him because he is such a good man and he doesnt deserve to be treated by society like a loonatic
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I can relate all too much to these posts.
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My dad is schizophrenic as well, currently I am 13 years old and he started showing signs when I was 10 it's crazy to imagine coming home to find your dad telling you there are bugs in the house people listening to us and monitoring us. It almost caused my parents to get a divorce because my dad thought my mom was going to kill him and somehow ship him to China to be cut into little pieces, it got to the point where we had to call the hospital to come take him away to a crazy house and after he came back he was scared. He was too scared to say anything or do anything because he doesn't want to go back, he's still like this he can't hold up a conversation or remember my age, it's insane. I miss my old dad so so much, the only thing I have to say is to try to be there for the person in your life that has schizophrenia and just hope for the best because honestly, assuming the worst is the worst thing you can do. Good luck.

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Wow. You sound like a strong person. God bless you for being understanding of your mom's condition and strong. You also seem really smart and able to help your mom when you can. I'm pretty sure my mom was struggling with something like schizophrenia. She talked to herself as if someone was there a lot and would gallop around our living room swishing her hands together with an angry expression on her face on a fairly regular basis. It was like she suddenly got angry about something she was going over in her head and just had to get it out. I never really knew it was strange until I got older and realized I never did this thing she did and wondered why. She never talked about anything internal to me, so I never got the sense she was paranoid. But she did start dementia early and i watched her slip away for about 15 years until she could no longer move or eat. During that time she had an imaginary dog she talked about and pointed to. My dad finally told me that she talked about a dog when she was younger too. So I do think she had some kind of psychotic disorder going on the entire time I knew her. She actually was a really lovely person to people the entire time I knew her. She had what you'd call in today's terms really good EQ with people and could make someone feel wonderful about themselves. What I wonder is how often are people with psychotic disorders or whatever she had actually well functioning in so many ways and without medication...
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I know exactly what you are saying. My father I believe raised me in the worst possible emotional environment. Plus the physical. Casting demons out of me when I was 12 years old. Alot of trauma.
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A lot of times I feel I need help. Having a father like that has left me for decades of self destructive behaviour. My children have excelled in life but now I am left to continue to deal with my own emptiness and pain.
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