Ok so 7 days ago today I got a tonsilectomy , & it's been a total nightmare, I don't know where to begin with my ordeal. The story is ... Woke up from surgery with a bit of a sore throat and felt weird...obviously because of the anaesthetic...got up and was recovering , just my throat felt weird..:was given some ice cream and water but couldn't drink because it felt like a knife was stuck in my throat..I checked in the mirror and as far as I could see my ulvuva had swelled just below my tongue. I panicked, refused to eat and drink anything scared I'd choke so I was kept in the night and put on steroids to give the swelling a helping hand. Day 2 found it a struggle to sleep , woke up, my mouth was so dry and dehydrated and I couldn't stop coughing . It was totally unbearable...I still wouldn't dare drink so I was put on the iv, my tongue felt like sandpaper....I am 21 years old but a 2 year old would have reacted better than me , I was sobbing and at that moment I hated myself for getting this operation done, it seemed hopeless. As I was refusing to eat and drink I was kept in another night, lucky me. But I felt so ill I was too scared to go home anyway. Day 3 I woke up and was desperate to heal from this mess as I was feeling so rough and thought I'd give my body the best shot it had at healing, so forced myself yoghurt and some water , choking on my ulvua of course which had not gone down with steroids but I decided to get used to it...and had a few other meals throughout the day, very mushy foods....I noticed my jaw clicked when I chewed and I also had excruciating headaches and temple /cheek pain and can barely Open my mouth, yawning made me want to die ...I put it down to some recovery process , and decided to man up and grit my teeth , surely it couldn't last much longer.... I was kept in hospital another night. Day 4 I woke up still in severe pain not being able to swallow and the more annoying clicky jaw thing, also ..something new, my hand was numb , I didn't think much of this it took about 5 minutes for it to go back to normal. I was discharged from the hospital and went home feeling half dead and like someone ripped me into pieces. Day 5 the throat pain gets worse...I imagine this is what throat cancer feels like and I desperately need a cigarette as I had t had one before the operation. I decide against it as it wouldn't surprise me if I had a hemmorage . The scabs don't seem to be going anywhere. I grit my teeth for another day crying in bed hoping it will all go away soon. Day 6 the throat pain does seem a lot better, it hurts yes but it's not like swallowing a knife ...not that it mattered as my headaches/cheek pain and clicky jaw were disturbing me, I woke up with the numb hand thing where they injected anaesthetic which seemed to be a bit worse but only happens awakening . I cry a bit more and anticipate the next day....reading scare stories about hemmoraging praying it doesn't happen to me. I'm not safe yet as the scabs are all there. Day 7 today is day 7 and it's got to the stage where I want to end it all,,I literally want to kill myself for putting myself through this horrible operation. I wasn't told the risks beforehand and was lead to believe I'd have a sore throat that would go away...stupid ent . If I'd have known I wouldn't have gone through with it at all. I guess it's my own fault for not looking into it properly. Admitidedly my throat is not bothering me today , it's a bit painful yes but better and nowhere near as disturbing as the fact as I obviously have permenant nerve damage as I woke up with a numb hand even more intense this time... I was hoping the jaw clicking was normal and the not being able to open jaw properly and severe head pain were normal with this sort of thing but from googling , it seems it's head to stay....this will be a regret for the rest of my life. But yeah I've not hemmoraged yet but all my scabs are there so there is still time , fun. I am furious on how much this was downplayed to me and want to smash someone in the face :( I just needed to rant about how miserable I am really . I still need a cigarette but not sure, I feel I've already done enough damage so why would it matter.