I suffer from IBS(D) for the last 20+ years, I'm 42 yr old female and thought the blood in the toilet was from my having the runs all the time. In college after a night of drinking, I sometimes felt like there was "glass up my ass" and it was a running joke. About 3 years ago I partied too hard on Halloween and the drinking caused a huge thrombosed hemorrhoid.  I would say bigger than a quarter.  I was in between health insurance at the time and the Urgent care Dr said I needed surgery but w/o insurance I decided to let Raul heal on its own.  I was in excruciating pain, however, I work in dental so I lived off benzocaine. It wasn't until after New Years that I felt normal again. Fast forward to 2/22/18 I got my period and has bouts of diarrhea coupled w/ my IBS it makes for real fun times.  I went to a going away party and drank and work up in the middle of the night in so much pain I almost couldn't breathe.  Raul presented himself again as another external hemorrhoid. I suffered through Saturday's goodbye brunch and went home to rest.  Sunday, I was literally in so much pain I took myself to the ER because it had gotten so big the only way I could describe it was (and sorry for the graphic details) it was as if I had a baby's penis with an erection coming from my ass.  Literally, my middle finger to the 2nd knuckle.  I had a Norco from a dental procedure 2 years ago, took it and nothing.  In the ER the PA came in asked the questions and I described what was happening, she thought I was being funny about a baby's penis until she examined me. "Oh my gosh, I need to go get the attending" was her reaction.  The Attending ER Doc came in and when I described it again he laughed.  Then he took a look at my backside and so "WOW you need surgery ASAP" then called another Dr in to come take a look. Both Dr's said my description was right on. I would have shown the world if someone could offer me some help!He said bc it was red and hard he could not lance it. Got an RX ointment and was sent on my way with a # for a Dr. to call in the AM.  Monday called out of work bc I simply could not walk and the pain was unbearable.  After calling 2 hospital systems I finally was able to get an appointment for 3/27. One month away...I missed 3 days of work that week and took 45 min baths 4 times a day to try and shrink it.  Those did nothing except provide minimal relief.  Since I wasn't bleeding it wasn't life-threatening and I had to wait for an appointment.  Two weeks later still in agony, it still hadn't shrunk and I called the Dr's office crying and asking how I could get in sooner.  I simply could not go on and it was ruining my quality of life.  They were able to move some patients around and get me in on the 20th of March.  I literally had photo evidence of "Pablo" to show the Dr. since I was taking 2 Hymalaian Salt rock baths a day and it had shrunk just a little (Raul was a joke compared to this one).  I told him the same description I told the hospital if he wanted to see the photo evidence I had it. Then he did the exam. For the love of God, I wanted to punch this dude in the face since the finger test wasn't enough he used a speculum (like what your Gyno uses to take a pap) and put a camera up there (no lidocaine or valium) just some KY.  I was scheduled for surgery on his next opening two days later.  He was super cool, explained that I had had hemmy's for a long long time and there were at least 7 up there that he saw.  As well as my thrombosed external dude. He explained I needed THD (I had a month of research knowledge).  Doc explained in detail what THD was and that he'd be doing the skin tag removal as well. I quickly agreed then informed him that I have a nonrefundable ticket/trip to Dubai April 6 and it was a trip of a lifetime.  Doc assured me since it was 2.5 weeks away I'd be fine.  Didn't really have time to prepare except to get the stuff from CVS (Milk of Mag, Mineral Oil, ReciCare, pads, and Aleve).  W/o family I Uber'd to the hospital and after 2 nurses trying to get an IV in they finally were able to prep me. I was given 2 Tylenol and Celebrex (I think) prior to and on my way to the OR I teared up as they laid me face down. Once the Anesthesia hit I jokingly asked if he could bleach my anus while he was down (bc I have to be funny right).  I woke up in the PACU to a wonderful nurse who said it went great.  I guess anesthesia makes me cry like a baby which I did, I got 2 shots of painkillers and instantly had to pee.  I was already told about the gelfoam they stick up your butt only because I asked if it was going to be there.  I was so nauseated they gave me 3 IV injections.  I was in such pain and they wanted to move to a recliner chair to get me out asap and I told them I was in too much pain to leave.  The pain is undescribable.  It is your anus having spasms from the tampon thing shoved up there to stop the bleeding. They FINALLY gave me valium and it was such a relief.  Still, nausea after 2 more injections of anti-nausea meds as they were reading me my post-op care I threw up bile all over the nurse who was rushing me out. Sorry.  I was given Oxycodone and Valium to take at the prescribed hours. Got home took 1 oxy and ate some yogurt and vomited probably 5 more times.  When I took the Milk of Mag and the mineral oil I projectile vomited all over my bedroom.  WORD OF ADVICE never think you can do this alone.  Thankfully my ride home (very dear friend) stayed with me for a few hours.  3 AM I had an anal baby.  I've never had a baby, however, I'm pretty sure I know what natural childbirth is like.  The oxy and the valium did nothing to ease my pain or the spasms and when I had a BM at 3 am I passed the foam.  From the relief, after the birth, I was able to fall asleep and manage to get some rest.  The next day my friend had come to check on me and I was in bad shape.  She made sure I was taking my meds on time (setting alarms on my phone) and made me some chicken noodle soup and crackers. Day 3 I got my period. Lovely. I lived on crackers for 4 full days. Day 4 I weened myself off the RX and went to Aleve since my Doc said people bleed out by taking Ibrupoherine (SP). Day 7 I was able to walk to the elevator and back.  Day 8 I returned to work (my Doc wanted me to take a full 2 weeks but due to my upcoming trip I had to go in early promising him I'd only be answering phones.  I over did it and am in pain and get why I should've taken the 2 weeks. I am bloated, have the urge to go but nothing, when I had a BM and a stitch came out. That's my story thus far, I'm pretty sure my neighbor thinks I have new pet goat since the constant moaning and groaning from the pain for 4 days was probably loud enough for him to hear.  7 days until I take the 24-hour flight to Dubai, then walk around a city for 5 days and pre-paid $500 for a 45 min Camel ride into the desert after dune crashing.  My only saving grace is the Business Class (bed) seat and Lounge Access. Oh, and going to visit my fiance I haven't seen since Christmas and not sure if I could withstand or even allowed to have sexy time?? That's my story thus far, I keep it, real people.  This surgery f'ing sucked, however, I feel 1000x better than when I had Paulo there for a month.