I got a link to this thread through a website I've looked at recently 'www.large-labia-productions'. This kind of site (albeit some of the language is a bit vulgar) is more confirmation that guys not only don't care about how your bits look......many of them love large labia. It's only the vocal few guys that make rude and crass comments about them looking ugly that create this crazy psychosis that womens vaginas should look like childrens....which I find perverse.
I know it is too late for you poor girls on here but anyone else who may be considering surgery, please please please do your research...It's simply not worth it for 2 very good reasons. Just find a loving man and you'll soon come to terms with your appearance and realise how lucky you are to have a distinctive and beautiful look.
guest.
I know it is too late for you poor girls on here but anyone else who may be considering surgery, please please please do your research...It's simply not worth it for 2 very good reasons. Just find a loving man and you'll soon come to terms with your appearance and realise how lucky you are to have a distinctive and beautiful look.
guest.
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Hi Everyone,
I’m sorry not to have been in touch for a while; have been in quite a mess trying to cope with all this, but also busy re legals and more surgery. I’m sorrier still to read so many more truly saddening stories and my heart goes out to you all. Thank you to everyone who has shared their experiences because I think one of the worst aspects of this is the secrecy and the feeling that no one can know and no one can understand: the isolation I have felt in the last year has been truly devastating.
First off, I do think an online support forum would be a good idea for us; but being a bit of a technophobe have no idea how to go about setting one up. So I’ll do some research and if any of you have ideas or knowledge let me know so we can start helping some people.
Someone asked about legalities: don’t know your location, but if you’re UK you have 3 years in which to bring a claim. It sounds a long time, but isn’t really, when you consider you have to research and appoint a good firm, get records called for and sent, have exams (physical and psych.), get expert medico-legal opinion, etc, etc. Although many women have this procedure for functional reasons, i.e. to minimise the pain to their labia caused by walking, riding bikes and horses, sex, etc., this is technically classified a cosmetic surgery procedure, so I would advise you to look into a firm that specialises in clinical negligence and also in the field of cosmetic surgery.
It’s a big step to make, because proving clinical negligence is very difficult (yes, the medical establishment does close ranks), but also because the time, effort, personal duress and psychological commitment will be consuming and exhausting. However, I am in the process of bringing a claim myself. I am incensed and still having trouble believing that someone has butchered me in this way, and irreparably altered my body. But apart from the constant battle with physical pain, my life and life opportunities have been altered forever.
Quite aside from the horrendous ‘cosmetic’ effects, I can now never have a relationship because the physical damage is so great, and so a family and children is lost to me forever. I am consigned to a lifetime of loneliness and I’m not even 40. I may not be able to hold down a full time job and therefore may lose my home and financial independence. I’m unable to travel distances and so am stuck in one town/city). I can’t do any of the sport or exercise I used to enjoy. I can’t meet with friends and keep up a social life. I can’t bend down properly to weed my garden/scrub my floor/pick up my post. Even the weather is a problem. Add to this the psychological damage, i.e. self-disgust, powerlessness, constant anxiety, horror, insomnia, fear, unresolved anger, huge mistrust of people generally, guilt, shame, humiliation, feeling like a freak… I could go on, but the point is, I have the right to challenge what has been done to me and to challenge the perpetuation of this insane procedure and I will do both, for others’ sakes if not my own.
For those considering having this procedure, please, please ensure your surgeon is suitably qualified and ensure you see evidence of prior work. The procedure should involve removing a v-shaped wedge from the labia (your surgeon should agree with you exactly how much to lose to be comfortable). It should never mean removing the whole labia minora, which have various very important functions. Incidentally, the WHO classifies excision of the labia minora as Type IIa female genital mutilation. And there’s a reason for that. I entreat you to think very carefully: if your labia are healthy and giving you no physical problems, please consider if subjecting yourself to possible long-term pain and discomfort or loss of function is truly worth it.
Eleven days ago I had some further surgery with a surgeon I trust absolutely in terms of skill but also professional integrity. The aim was to reduce the residual pain I have had since the original procedure and correct a few things. It’s too early to tell what the results will be, but so far the indications are good: suffice to say that the whole experience was entirely different and all I can do for the time being is be patient with the healing and hope that he has managed to help my long term prospects of comfort. I’ll keep you posted.
I truly feel for you all and hope we can set something up so we can support each other through this. Like you, I am horrified, terrified, deeply regretful, saddened, shocked and ashamed. But please remember that really the shame lies with a system that allows this practice to happen, again and again. At least we might be able to educate and campaign so that more unsuspecting victims do not fall into the unscrupulous hands that commit these crimes against us. And we can help each other by pooling practical resources and sharing emotional ones.
With heartfelt best wishes for you all,
GUEST15
I’m sorry not to have been in touch for a while; have been in quite a mess trying to cope with all this, but also busy re legals and more surgery. I’m sorrier still to read so many more truly saddening stories and my heart goes out to you all. Thank you to everyone who has shared their experiences because I think one of the worst aspects of this is the secrecy and the feeling that no one can know and no one can understand: the isolation I have felt in the last year has been truly devastating.
First off, I do think an online support forum would be a good idea for us; but being a bit of a technophobe have no idea how to go about setting one up. So I’ll do some research and if any of you have ideas or knowledge let me know so we can start helping some people.
Someone asked about legalities: don’t know your location, but if you’re UK you have 3 years in which to bring a claim. It sounds a long time, but isn’t really, when you consider you have to research and appoint a good firm, get records called for and sent, have exams (physical and psych.), get expert medico-legal opinion, etc, etc. Although many women have this procedure for functional reasons, i.e. to minimise the pain to their labia caused by walking, riding bikes and horses, sex, etc., this is technically classified a cosmetic surgery procedure, so I would advise you to look into a firm that specialises in clinical negligence and also in the field of cosmetic surgery.
It’s a big step to make, because proving clinical negligence is very difficult (yes, the medical establishment does close ranks), but also because the time, effort, personal duress and psychological commitment will be consuming and exhausting. However, I am in the process of bringing a claim myself. I am incensed and still having trouble believing that someone has butchered me in this way, and irreparably altered my body. But apart from the constant battle with physical pain, my life and life opportunities have been altered forever.
Quite aside from the horrendous ‘cosmetic’ effects, I can now never have a relationship because the physical damage is so great, and so a family and children is lost to me forever. I am consigned to a lifetime of loneliness and I’m not even 40. I may not be able to hold down a full time job and therefore may lose my home and financial independence. I’m unable to travel distances and so am stuck in one town/city). I can’t do any of the sport or exercise I used to enjoy. I can’t meet with friends and keep up a social life. I can’t bend down properly to weed my garden/scrub my floor/pick up my post. Even the weather is a problem. Add to this the psychological damage, i.e. self-disgust, powerlessness, constant anxiety, horror, insomnia, fear, unresolved anger, huge mistrust of people generally, guilt, shame, humiliation, feeling like a freak… I could go on, but the point is, I have the right to challenge what has been done to me and to challenge the perpetuation of this insane procedure and I will do both, for others’ sakes if not my own.
For those considering having this procedure, please, please ensure your surgeon is suitably qualified and ensure you see evidence of prior work. The procedure should involve removing a v-shaped wedge from the labia (your surgeon should agree with you exactly how much to lose to be comfortable). It should never mean removing the whole labia minora, which have various very important functions. Incidentally, the WHO classifies excision of the labia minora as Type IIa female genital mutilation. And there’s a reason for that. I entreat you to think very carefully: if your labia are healthy and giving you no physical problems, please consider if subjecting yourself to possible long-term pain and discomfort or loss of function is truly worth it.
Eleven days ago I had some further surgery with a surgeon I trust absolutely in terms of skill but also professional integrity. The aim was to reduce the residual pain I have had since the original procedure and correct a few things. It’s too early to tell what the results will be, but so far the indications are good: suffice to say that the whole experience was entirely different and all I can do for the time being is be patient with the healing and hope that he has managed to help my long term prospects of comfort. I’ll keep you posted.
I truly feel for you all and hope we can set something up so we can support each other through this. Like you, I am horrified, terrified, deeply regretful, saddened, shocked and ashamed. But please remember that really the shame lies with a system that allows this practice to happen, again and again. At least we might be able to educate and campaign so that more unsuspecting victims do not fall into the unscrupulous hands that commit these crimes against us. And we can help each other by pooling practical resources and sharing emotional ones.
With heartfelt best wishes for you all,
GUEST15
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Dear Guest15,
How are you feeling? I am so sorry to hear what you're going through. It's such a difficult situation to be dealing with. It's not something that we can discuss openly with just anyone. Do you have family support or are you speaking with someone? I've started counselling but I really don't know whether it will help. The only thing that will help me is the chance to turn back time and undo this mistake. Unfortunately, this is not possible for us.
You have described my exact emotions - I feel horrified, terrified, deeply regretful, saddened, shocked and ashamed. I am disgusted with myself that I underwent genital mutilation - because that's what it is.
I'm struggling to get myself together. I cannot stop thinking that I have ruined my life over something so petty. I too feel as if I have extinguished the possibility of having a relationship with someone and one day, having a family.
I try to tell myself that I have things in my life to be happy about : I have a great job, great friends (whom I have withdrawn myself from), great parents... but I can't seem to be positive or get this horrific experience out of my mind.
As I've stated, I would like to set up a support group however I am a bit computer illiterate and don't really know where to start. Is there someone who can help? I will also do some research and see where we can start.
I hope we can all get through this.
Stay strong.
How are you feeling? I am so sorry to hear what you're going through. It's such a difficult situation to be dealing with. It's not something that we can discuss openly with just anyone. Do you have family support or are you speaking with someone? I've started counselling but I really don't know whether it will help. The only thing that will help me is the chance to turn back time and undo this mistake. Unfortunately, this is not possible for us.
You have described my exact emotions - I feel horrified, terrified, deeply regretful, saddened, shocked and ashamed. I am disgusted with myself that I underwent genital mutilation - because that's what it is.
I'm struggling to get myself together. I cannot stop thinking that I have ruined my life over something so petty. I too feel as if I have extinguished the possibility of having a relationship with someone and one day, having a family.
I try to tell myself that I have things in my life to be happy about : I have a great job, great friends (whom I have withdrawn myself from), great parents... but I can't seem to be positive or get this horrific experience out of my mind.
As I've stated, I would like to set up a support group however I am a bit computer illiterate and don't really know where to start. Is there someone who can help? I will also do some research and see where we can start.
I hope we can all get through this.
Stay strong.
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Guest15,
I don't know whether this piece of information will help your case but I thought I'd inform you anyway.
At my most recent session with my Psychologist, I was informed that I may have Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). She believes that this was present long before I had labiaplasty. I have read up on BDD and I have to say that I presented with (and continue to present) with the characteristics associated with this disorder.
I describe myself as a perfectionist in several ways. And for a very long time I considered myself 'disgusting' in that area hence seeking to have labiaplasty to make me feel 'normal' (and to help improve some discomfort which I experienced).
People with BDD have an excessive preoccupation with an imagined or slight defect in appearance of a body part or parts. This preoccupation is distressing, the sufferer feels unattractive even though the defect is often non - existent.
Individuals with this disorder are encouraged to seek psychological assistance to attempt to change their thoughts and are discouraged to have cosmetic surgery. The reason for this is because even following the cosmetic surgery, such individuals are not content with the result and continue to feel 'abnormal'.
I read that Plastic Surgeons should screen clients for BDD. If this is done, then unnecessary surgeries could be avoided.
I've listed below the criteria for BDD:
Diagnostic criteria for 300.7 Body Dysmorphic Disorder
A. Preoccupation with an imagined defect in appearance. If a slight physical anomaly is present, the person's concern is markedly excessive.
B. The preoccupation causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
C. The preoccupation is not better accounted for by another mental disorder (e.g., dissatisfaction with body shape and size in Anorexia Nervosa).
*Information from p.468, DSM-IV, 1994, American Psychiatric Association
I feel that I may certainly suffer from this disorder. As I said, I don't know whether this could help you but I thought I'd share it with you. I definitely think that my surgeon should have screened me prior to the procedure.
Anyway, let me know what you think.
I don't know whether this piece of information will help your case but I thought I'd inform you anyway.
At my most recent session with my Psychologist, I was informed that I may have Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). She believes that this was present long before I had labiaplasty. I have read up on BDD and I have to say that I presented with (and continue to present) with the characteristics associated with this disorder.
I describe myself as a perfectionist in several ways. And for a very long time I considered myself 'disgusting' in that area hence seeking to have labiaplasty to make me feel 'normal' (and to help improve some discomfort which I experienced).
People with BDD have an excessive preoccupation with an imagined or slight defect in appearance of a body part or parts. This preoccupation is distressing, the sufferer feels unattractive even though the defect is often non - existent.
Individuals with this disorder are encouraged to seek psychological assistance to attempt to change their thoughts and are discouraged to have cosmetic surgery. The reason for this is because even following the cosmetic surgery, such individuals are not content with the result and continue to feel 'abnormal'.
I read that Plastic Surgeons should screen clients for BDD. If this is done, then unnecessary surgeries could be avoided.
I've listed below the criteria for BDD:
Diagnostic criteria for 300.7 Body Dysmorphic Disorder
A. Preoccupation with an imagined defect in appearance. If a slight physical anomaly is present, the person's concern is markedly excessive.
B. The preoccupation causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
C. The preoccupation is not better accounted for by another mental disorder (e.g., dissatisfaction with body shape and size in Anorexia Nervosa).
*Information from p.468, DSM-IV, 1994, American Psychiatric Association
I feel that I may certainly suffer from this disorder. As I said, I don't know whether this could help you but I thought I'd share it with you. I definitely think that my surgeon should have screened me prior to the procedure.
Anyway, let me know what you think.
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Hi Miss Regretful,
Thanks for your posts and your ideas and thoughts, it all helps. For me, it’s a real relief to ‘talk’ to someone who really knows it for what it is. Other people can’t imagine it (I admit I couldn’t have, before it happened, so I don’t blame them). How are you? How’s your healing going? Are you any better now than before, hope so…
I did tell my parents, to explain being housebound, not at work and why I couldn’t visit. That was awful, to put them through this upset, although I don’t think they really understand it very well, even now. I have confided in two friends, who have been sympathetic, but can’t really do much and I rarely see them. I am seeing a counsellor, because the despair overtook me after a while. It’s weird, even though I was in such severe pain and unable to move I had a lot of trouble realising the full impact…I was in shock for a long time.
I don’t know if talking to the counsellor helps or not. I have someone to talk to about it in detail (too gory and icky for most) and that does help release some pressure. But the fact is someone has mutilated and mangled me so badly my life can never be the same and I still don’t know how to approach that. The physical damage is so great that many activities or opportunities are lost forever and I’m heartbroken as well as angry. My counsellor tries to remind me it’s only seven months and to be patient. But I honestly don’t know what kind of life I can have now, that’s the hardest part. It’s not like picking yourself up and starting again, because part of you is gone and I don’t feel I’m me any more.
Thanks for the stuff about BDD. I was a bit uncomfortable and embarrassed about what I had (daft now, given the state I find myself in), and I had some very nasty comments made, but I wasn’t so bothered about the cosmetic side. Although I would understand if someone was and how it could very badly affect their self esteem. I did suffer if I rode bikes, horses, also if I had sex, because the lips would be drawn inside and that was pretty sore sometimes.
Then I developed a large skin tag on one lip and went to have it dealt with. It was misdiagnosed as a wart (horror diagnosis right there, for a start!) and I was given cryotherapy, which hurt like hell and then a wart solution to apply. That was a nightmare; the pain was excruciating and I couldn’t keep it on the tag either, so I went back. That’s when they told me their mistake and the tag would have to be surgically removed. By this time the pain was so dreadful; couldn’t sleep, walk, sit, work etc. When I got no help from the NHS I took matters into my own hands. I saw a private OB/GYN who said he could remove it. He also agreed having a reduction would mean the chances of developing more tags would be minimised. Another consultant said the same. So I decided to remove the tag and also have a reduction, thinking this would solve the immediate problem and reduce the chance of future ones.
I was maddened by pain and that drove me to make a decision but I couldn’t guess at how much more I would suffer. The butcher (my not so friendly nickname for him) removed all my labia minora. When I came round they were gone, except I couldn’t really see that then because the whole area was so badly swollen. All around my clitoris was swollen to the size of a cricket ball, only purple. I had black bruising all around and down my thighs, which lasted six weeks. I could barely walk. I collapsed three days after the surgery and had to go to A&E, be put on a drip. I was told not to shower or bathe (! Completely wrong, but this is because he botched it so badly he had to use glue, though I didn’t know this at the time). When I could bathe I had to lower myself into a sitz bath and gently soak – even the water ripples hurt. It was January before I could shower, just. Won’t bore you with more lurid details, you have suffered too and you understand the trauma of it all, not just the physical stuff.
Anyway, I can only hope that the recent op will help re long term pain. I had constant pain in one area, and along one of the suture lines, also muscle cramps and shooting pains, problems with adhesions. This surgery has been very different; not much swelling, teeny bit of bruising. I have been damn careful re the stitches and showering and diet and resting and can only hope that the pain I had has been solved or reduced enough so I can function better. But even so, I have suffered a harrowing experience and I want recognition of all that plus whatever financial compensation I can get to help with ongoing medical bills etc, hence the legal case. And I want this amputation procedure outlawed in this country, if not all.
Sorry, gone on too much, just thought I’d tell you how it happened for me and what I’m trying to do to help myself. I wasn’t so bothered about the looks before, but you can bet I am now, I look like a bloody freak, excuse language and I hate it, so I can really understand how someone could develop a disorder like that. I’m a bit of a perfectionist too, and I can see how that would feed into that. And you’re right about psych. screening or pre-op counselling. Often I’ve blamed myself (part of the perfectionist syndrome I think) – how could I, being reasonably intelligent and so on – let this happen? But my counsellor has pointed out, no I didn’t. I elected to have a tag excised and a reduction and the surgeon did something entirely and devastatingly different. So I try to keep that in mind.
I hope you’re feeling better; you’re right, we have to be strong and not allow this to defeat us. Let me know how you’re getting on and how things are going for you. Maybe we can use this site until we get the other thing sorted out and I also thought, using this site isn’t so bad as others might stumble on it and realise they are not alone. I think this is really important because one of the worst things is feeling so different and isolated. As you say, you can’t talk to just anyone about this.
Take care and thanks again,
GUEST15
Thanks for your posts and your ideas and thoughts, it all helps. For me, it’s a real relief to ‘talk’ to someone who really knows it for what it is. Other people can’t imagine it (I admit I couldn’t have, before it happened, so I don’t blame them). How are you? How’s your healing going? Are you any better now than before, hope so…
I did tell my parents, to explain being housebound, not at work and why I couldn’t visit. That was awful, to put them through this upset, although I don’t think they really understand it very well, even now. I have confided in two friends, who have been sympathetic, but can’t really do much and I rarely see them. I am seeing a counsellor, because the despair overtook me after a while. It’s weird, even though I was in such severe pain and unable to move I had a lot of trouble realising the full impact…I was in shock for a long time.
I don’t know if talking to the counsellor helps or not. I have someone to talk to about it in detail (too gory and icky for most) and that does help release some pressure. But the fact is someone has mutilated and mangled me so badly my life can never be the same and I still don’t know how to approach that. The physical damage is so great that many activities or opportunities are lost forever and I’m heartbroken as well as angry. My counsellor tries to remind me it’s only seven months and to be patient. But I honestly don’t know what kind of life I can have now, that’s the hardest part. It’s not like picking yourself up and starting again, because part of you is gone and I don’t feel I’m me any more.
Thanks for the stuff about BDD. I was a bit uncomfortable and embarrassed about what I had (daft now, given the state I find myself in), and I had some very nasty comments made, but I wasn’t so bothered about the cosmetic side. Although I would understand if someone was and how it could very badly affect their self esteem. I did suffer if I rode bikes, horses, also if I had sex, because the lips would be drawn inside and that was pretty sore sometimes.
Then I developed a large skin tag on one lip and went to have it dealt with. It was misdiagnosed as a wart (horror diagnosis right there, for a start!) and I was given cryotherapy, which hurt like hell and then a wart solution to apply. That was a nightmare; the pain was excruciating and I couldn’t keep it on the tag either, so I went back. That’s when they told me their mistake and the tag would have to be surgically removed. By this time the pain was so dreadful; couldn’t sleep, walk, sit, work etc. When I got no help from the NHS I took matters into my own hands. I saw a private OB/GYN who said he could remove it. He also agreed having a reduction would mean the chances of developing more tags would be minimised. Another consultant said the same. So I decided to remove the tag and also have a reduction, thinking this would solve the immediate problem and reduce the chance of future ones.
I was maddened by pain and that drove me to make a decision but I couldn’t guess at how much more I would suffer. The butcher (my not so friendly nickname for him) removed all my labia minora. When I came round they were gone, except I couldn’t really see that then because the whole area was so badly swollen. All around my clitoris was swollen to the size of a cricket ball, only purple. I had black bruising all around and down my thighs, which lasted six weeks. I could barely walk. I collapsed three days after the surgery and had to go to A&E, be put on a drip. I was told not to shower or bathe (! Completely wrong, but this is because he botched it so badly he had to use glue, though I didn’t know this at the time). When I could bathe I had to lower myself into a sitz bath and gently soak – even the water ripples hurt. It was January before I could shower, just. Won’t bore you with more lurid details, you have suffered too and you understand the trauma of it all, not just the physical stuff.
Anyway, I can only hope that the recent op will help re long term pain. I had constant pain in one area, and along one of the suture lines, also muscle cramps and shooting pains, problems with adhesions. This surgery has been very different; not much swelling, teeny bit of bruising. I have been damn careful re the stitches and showering and diet and resting and can only hope that the pain I had has been solved or reduced enough so I can function better. But even so, I have suffered a harrowing experience and I want recognition of all that plus whatever financial compensation I can get to help with ongoing medical bills etc, hence the legal case. And I want this amputation procedure outlawed in this country, if not all.
Sorry, gone on too much, just thought I’d tell you how it happened for me and what I’m trying to do to help myself. I wasn’t so bothered about the looks before, but you can bet I am now, I look like a bloody freak, excuse language and I hate it, so I can really understand how someone could develop a disorder like that. I’m a bit of a perfectionist too, and I can see how that would feed into that. And you’re right about psych. screening or pre-op counselling. Often I’ve blamed myself (part of the perfectionist syndrome I think) – how could I, being reasonably intelligent and so on – let this happen? But my counsellor has pointed out, no I didn’t. I elected to have a tag excised and a reduction and the surgeon did something entirely and devastatingly different. So I try to keep that in mind.
I hope you’re feeling better; you’re right, we have to be strong and not allow this to defeat us. Let me know how you’re getting on and how things are going for you. Maybe we can use this site until we get the other thing sorted out and I also thought, using this site isn’t so bad as others might stumble on it and realise they are not alone. I think this is really important because one of the worst things is feeling so different and isolated. As you say, you can’t talk to just anyone about this.
Take care and thanks again,
GUEST15
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Hi Guest 15,
How are you? I hope you are recovering well after the surgery. Has the pain decreased? You have been through so much. It's such a difficult situation - we are hurting not only physically but mentally and emotionally. And at times I feel as if it's a bad dream and that things will go back to the way they used to be for me. That is not going to happen and that's what I'm not dealing with -The reality of this situation.
I really hope that your legal case goes well. Our ordeals could have been avoided - that's why it's so painful to deal with.
Have you been trying to get out much? Are you capable of walking, sitting etc without any discomfort yet?
I'm walking ok but I still get quite uncomfortable. I've planned to go overseas (Europe) and will be leaving in 2 weeks. I have been looking forward to this trip for years and now really cannot find the energy or interest in going. I just don't know how to enjoy things anymore
- knowing that my life will never be the same again.
My friends don't know what has happened and are getting frustrated with me as I'm not my usual, loud, funny self and have been housebound for the last few months.
I just hope this nightmare comes to an end for both of us. I hope you're feeling better and I truly wish that things start looking brighter for you.
Take care of yourself and keep strong
Miss Regretful
How are you? I hope you are recovering well after the surgery. Has the pain decreased? You have been through so much. It's such a difficult situation - we are hurting not only physically but mentally and emotionally. And at times I feel as if it's a bad dream and that things will go back to the way they used to be for me. That is not going to happen and that's what I'm not dealing with -The reality of this situation.
I really hope that your legal case goes well. Our ordeals could have been avoided - that's why it's so painful to deal with.
Have you been trying to get out much? Are you capable of walking, sitting etc without any discomfort yet?
I'm walking ok but I still get quite uncomfortable. I've planned to go overseas (Europe) and will be leaving in 2 weeks. I have been looking forward to this trip for years and now really cannot find the energy or interest in going. I just don't know how to enjoy things anymore
- knowing that my life will never be the same again.
My friends don't know what has happened and are getting frustrated with me as I'm not my usual, loud, funny self and have been housebound for the last few months.
I just hope this nightmare comes to an end for both of us. I hope you're feeling better and I truly wish that things start looking brighter for you.
Take care of yourself and keep strong
Miss Regretful
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Hi Miss Regretful,
Thanks for your email and all your good wishes. It’s good to hear from you and I’m really glad to hear you’re walking OK now. Having mobility back is a big thing.
I’m not too bad; healing, but slowly, the time is really dragging. I can walk pretty well, the only problem is when the stitches catch, but I hope they’ll dissolve soon. I think the pain in the suture lines might have decreased after this recent op, but am too scared and wary to get my hopes up. I can sit longer now without pain, so that is great. I’ve been able to get out more this past week and that has helped.
I know what you mean about the bad dream stuff. I’m still struggling with the can it really be real, forever, thoughts, so don’t judge yourself harshly there, it’s only a few months since you had the op.
I really admire you for your plans to travel, that’s fantastic, brave and also two fingers up to the wrong you’ve been done. I completely understand about lacking interest or enthusiasm, I feel like that too, a lot. When your world is rocked like this it’s hard to look forward and feel bright or hopeful. But maybe travel will help in ways you can’t imagine now. Are you going with some friends? I wish you could confide in one or two, I don’t think they would judge you at all. I think they would feel utter compassion, and probably a lot of anger on your behalf. But, after having your trust abused so badly in all this, I really know how hard it is to take that risk.
Anyway, I wish you all the best with your trip. I’m sorry you’re not in the best of health for it, but I hope it will help you to get away, see and do new things… in a way breaking your usual routine might help you feel differently and better. I hope so anyway. If you come to London let me know.
Take good care; I know I’m far away, but I know how strong and brave you’re being and I’m really glad you, we, are fighting back, however we can.
GUEST15
Thanks for your email and all your good wishes. It’s good to hear from you and I’m really glad to hear you’re walking OK now. Having mobility back is a big thing.
I’m not too bad; healing, but slowly, the time is really dragging. I can walk pretty well, the only problem is when the stitches catch, but I hope they’ll dissolve soon. I think the pain in the suture lines might have decreased after this recent op, but am too scared and wary to get my hopes up. I can sit longer now without pain, so that is great. I’ve been able to get out more this past week and that has helped.
I know what you mean about the bad dream stuff. I’m still struggling with the can it really be real, forever, thoughts, so don’t judge yourself harshly there, it’s only a few months since you had the op.
I really admire you for your plans to travel, that’s fantastic, brave and also two fingers up to the wrong you’ve been done. I completely understand about lacking interest or enthusiasm, I feel like that too, a lot. When your world is rocked like this it’s hard to look forward and feel bright or hopeful. But maybe travel will help in ways you can’t imagine now. Are you going with some friends? I wish you could confide in one or two, I don’t think they would judge you at all. I think they would feel utter compassion, and probably a lot of anger on your behalf. But, after having your trust abused so badly in all this, I really know how hard it is to take that risk.
Anyway, I wish you all the best with your trip. I’m sorry you’re not in the best of health for it, but I hope it will help you to get away, see and do new things… in a way breaking your usual routine might help you feel differently and better. I hope so anyway. If you come to London let me know.
Take good care; I know I’m far away, but I know how strong and brave you’re being and I’m really glad you, we, are fighting back, however we can.
GUEST15
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Hello, all.
First and foremost my deepest, most sincere apologies to anyone who's had an unsuccesfull, mangling, life changing and depressing outcome from their labiaplasty.
I was considering it myself, at first thinking my "abnormally" large left labius was a horrible disfiguration not even my ever so patient and tender boyfriend could tolerate. While I haven't asked for his opinion-- as we haven't proceeded onto this physical phase of our relationship -- I'm starting to feel more at ease with myself. So it appears most women have mis-matched, large, darker labia minor. How could something that appears in the majority of women be an abnormality?
This topic has been an eyeopening one.
I would not have labiaplasty even if I got it cheap, or even had my insurance pay for it. The terrible experiences women have had with having their labia minor entirely removed has definitely turned me away from the sheer possibility of having a reducing operation done.
Apologies done and over with, I want to thank everyone for sharing their experiences and possibly sparing me from what could've been the worst mistake of my life. My heart goes out to you, stay strong. You're still beautiful, unique women; and brave to share your life with us.
As for someone mentioning men wanting their woman's ladyparts to look like childrens' and that being perverse; I couldn't agree more.
A true man should want a woman, not a child.
First and foremost my deepest, most sincere apologies to anyone who's had an unsuccesfull, mangling, life changing and depressing outcome from their labiaplasty.
I was considering it myself, at first thinking my "abnormally" large left labius was a horrible disfiguration not even my ever so patient and tender boyfriend could tolerate. While I haven't asked for his opinion-- as we haven't proceeded onto this physical phase of our relationship -- I'm starting to feel more at ease with myself. So it appears most women have mis-matched, large, darker labia minor. How could something that appears in the majority of women be an abnormality?
This topic has been an eyeopening one.
I would not have labiaplasty even if I got it cheap, or even had my insurance pay for it. The terrible experiences women have had with having their labia minor entirely removed has definitely turned me away from the sheer possibility of having a reducing operation done.
Apologies done and over with, I want to thank everyone for sharing their experiences and possibly sparing me from what could've been the worst mistake of my life. My heart goes out to you, stay strong. You're still beautiful, unique women; and brave to share your life with us.
As for someone mentioning men wanting their woman's ladyparts to look like childrens' and that being perverse; I couldn't agree more.
A true man should want a woman, not a child.
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Dear All,
I am so glad to have this string and wish that someone would start a support group. I am suffering terrible PTSD and dont know how to get over this and get on with my life. Therapy only helps in a limited way because even the therapist cant imagine the extent of the damage and probably wonders if its in my head.
Has anyone lived more then a year of this and can tell me how to get through it. My original surgery was in Jan. My correction was in the summer. I went from having huge labia to having nothing now and nothing t all on the bottom. So I am wide open. The original surgery left me with my minora amputated, one side stitched over the majora and the other cut in half. I had to have the labia majora fixed and excessive scarring removed. I have no labia remaining on the bottom of my vagina. This is a living hell.
Help
I am so glad to have this string and wish that someone would start a support group. I am suffering terrible PTSD and dont know how to get over this and get on with my life. Therapy only helps in a limited way because even the therapist cant imagine the extent of the damage and probably wonders if its in my head.
Has anyone lived more then a year of this and can tell me how to get through it. My original surgery was in Jan. My correction was in the summer. I went from having huge labia to having nothing now and nothing t all on the bottom. So I am wide open. The original surgery left me with my minora amputated, one side stitched over the majora and the other cut in half. I had to have the labia majora fixed and excessive scarring removed. I have no labia remaining on the bottom of my vagina. This is a living hell.
Help
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these posts are very helpful to me, can anyone tell me is this an american site? as i am in the uk, ive had a labia reduction last november, i too hav nothing on the bottom half as the stiches just came out, the surgeon took too much skin away, i am in a small amount of pain but nothing like i hav seen people are in on previous posts, my thoughts are with u all and if we can stay in touch and make a support group it wud be brilliant, failing that we can round up the surgeons and cut off there testicals, see how they like it, reduction does not mean amputation!!!
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Girls, after reading your posts, I quit labiaplasty proceeding. I have already the surgery date booked with my gynecologist before taking a longer searching in internet about the pros and cons. In my case, I have not so much skin excess in my inner lips that could cause so much uncomfortable living. So, I realized that maybe it's just a matter of auto acceptance. If I'm a healthy person, running the risks of a labioplasty may not be worthwhile. Everyone has its own peculiarities, like diferent noses, mouths, hair, arms, etc. So I have my own vulva, my personal characteristcs. I'd better accept the way I am, working my self esteem and trying to forget the media influence.
I'm very grateful to you all for the courage in revealing to us, women from the whole world, your real experiences with the labiaplasty.
Thank you. ;-)
I'm very grateful to you all for the courage in revealing to us, women from the whole world, your real experiences with the labiaplasty.
Thank you. ;-)
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I am so very sorry for all the women who have gone thru with this surgery and have had horrible results and experiences. I have an appt scheduled which I will be cancelling today. I am so angry at the media to make us feel like we are not normal. My ob/gyn has repeatedly told me that there is nothing wrong with me but I am obsessed that I look abnormal down there. Thank you so much for all this useful information and for maybe sparing me from a lifetime of pain and discomfort. I have often thought that perhaps those of us who obsess about this may have Body Dismorphic Disorder, however, I have never sought help due to being embarassed to even tell anyone what I look like. I have had boyfriends and have never had a complaint, I often ask myself why I care so much. I suppose the media tends to show only one type of vagina and we all feel that we are supposed to look like that. From this day forward I will begin trying to just accept myself and hope that a man will love me just as I am. Best wishes to everyone suffering with this issue! And for all those in pain due to labiaplasty, I truly hope things get better for you!
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This is my first time on this site. I have to say, i never even thought about things going wrong with this surgery. I had an appointment made and cancelled it until i could find a little more information.
Men say the dumbest sh*t. A friend of mine said something along the lines of "those prostitutes with the flappy lips, they are all whores, thats why their vaginas look like that" I was disgusted because in know i am none of those things he was mentioning. My mother and sister both have the same "problem" and i remember mine being like this before i ever had any sexual experience. Is it genes? does anyone know? i just know that i was embarrassed and went home feeling pretty shitty about the whole thing. i just wish that people would not be so cruel.
I think maybe after reading all of these testimonies, i maybe will not go through with the surgery. I am so very sorry for you all that are going through this nightmare.
Thank you for helping me. I really thought I was alone in this.
Men say the dumbest sh*t. A friend of mine said something along the lines of "those prostitutes with the flappy lips, they are all whores, thats why their vaginas look like that" I was disgusted because in know i am none of those things he was mentioning. My mother and sister both have the same "problem" and i remember mine being like this before i ever had any sexual experience. Is it genes? does anyone know? i just know that i was embarrassed and went home feeling pretty shitty about the whole thing. i just wish that people would not be so cruel.
I think maybe after reading all of these testimonies, i maybe will not go through with the surgery. I am so very sorry for you all that are going through this nightmare.
Thank you for helping me. I really thought I was alone in this.
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I had mine done a couple of weeks ago. The next day I only had to take 1 pain pill, and hardly anymore since then. I have no pain, and am extremly pleased with the results. I have never heard of anyone being catarized for this procedure, only stitches. I advise anyone who is going to have this done to make sure they don't go to the cheapest doctor they can find, but to find a reputable surgeon or OBGYN. My OBGYN did mine. Who else would know as much about that area then her. I am very pleased. I feel sorry for those who have problems after this surgery. That has to be the worst. J
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