theres not much to say about it really, I'm head over the hills for this guy, he's 17 almost 18 and I wanted to do it but he has a girlfriend and I know there are so many things wrong about this but I swear I lose all control when I'm around him. we have been really close friends for 4 years I've liked him this whole time but he didn't like me back because I was too young and ugly but we still kept the friendship up, a year in the friendship he had to move to Germany but we kept talking through Facebook, I closed my fb account and we stopped talking since he didn't have an instagram account, this summer he came back and saw my sister somewhere asked about me and approached me on instagram he saw I grew up hot and was now interested, I fell for it and went out with him we made out and he told me he has a gf, I pushed him back and said I'm not doing that and he pushed me and pressured me saying that it's not wrong if nobody finds out about it and he convinced me we kept going out did everything apart from sex but he kept pushing me on that too and today after all summer of this back and forth I lost it to him, I don't know how I feel about it, I don't regret it and I surely liked it after the pain was gone but I just needed to get this all out somewhere and I can't talk to my best friends about also I wanted to know what I should do health wise, there's no way I'm telling my mom but still do I need to go to a gynecologist or something? Also he didn't use a condom, he didn't have one and I whined about it so he went and bought one but it was even harder with the condom on so he took it off and we did it without one. Also we were outdoors at not such a clean area so I don't know what to do about that either, I just need some answers, please more experienced people tell me what the risks are and what I should do.